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Losing my mind with a 3 yr old!

Posted by on Nov. 18, 2013 at 12:48 PM
  • 13 Replies

Ok so, I've posted on here before got some real bitter comments from some women =D lol but hey its over a PC so eh what do i care about the negitivity but to the rest whom have some real tips thanks in advance =)

My Bf's 3yr old toddler is really driving me up the wall to say the least. We are as of recently having problems with her bed time. Now long story short this child pretty much lives in 3 diffrent homes so (sad i know this already) BM lives with her grandparents so that home (which BM doesn't watch child 70yr old grandparents of BM do) then Bf's parents home because he works many long hrs a week, then our home we share. So in our home we have rules and consequences for breaking those rules, same apply to my child. In the other homes well lets just say that 3yr old child's tells them what to do. (RIDICULOUS!) so makes my job cause i have to watch her 10Xs harder. So with bed-time, she has been waking up last two nights @3am =/ and we have done everything we can think of to get her to stay in her room. She has screamed i mean SCREAMED @ the top of her lungs that she doesn't want to go to bed, that she doesn't want to stay in the room alone, that she's afraid of the dark. She pulls her own hair and slaps her own face in anger. I usually do this back and fourth thing with her about an hr and half before i wake up dad and he have to deal with her. He does the same then after 10mins he just sleeps with her to basically not hear her. We've had issues with bedtime before (NEVER anything like this though) because like i've said @ the other homes she goes to bed 11pm midnight or kinda whenever she wants so I've expressed to dad (hey giving in and sleeping with her gives her, her way) dumb move on Dads part because shes 3 and knows how to manipulate him =( I've told him shes doing that now wait till shes 5, or 8 or 13 its only gonna get worse if they don't learn to tell a 3yr old NO sometimes. I'm afraid of all the screaming (seriously its that loud) that neighbor's will get frustratedand call the cops. Ok so we have try-ed talking to her calmly, Ive then put a princess night light in her room so she wont be scared of the dark. BUTTTT Im losing it cause I've ran out of ideas on what to do.........

by on Nov. 18, 2013 at 12:48 PM
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Replies (1-10):
countrygirlkat
by Kathleen on Nov. 18, 2013 at 1:12 PM

If it is just recently that this has been happening I would start to question why now?  It could be as simple as she had a bad dream and it will take a while for her to get over it.  With her hitting herself though and taking it to such an extreme it would concern me.  I would have the dad talk to her mom and to his parents to see if anything that has happened recently to cause fear in her or if she has been having issues sleeping ath their places as well.  Obviously the lack of discipline at the other houses and the differences will have to be dealt with at some time, but with this sudden over the top fear(and the fact she is going to bed fine but having the fear later, if she was afraid of the dark she would be afraid at the beginning of the night too), would give me concern.

atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Nov. 18, 2013 at 1:14 PM
You all gotta get on the same page.
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-PB
by Gold Member on Nov. 18, 2013 at 2:25 PM

 If she is scared of the dark why not let her sleep with the light on.  Not like an ultra bright ceiling light but maybe a little table lamp or something.  And maybe get her one of those light up bedtime toys.  Maybe one that plays some soft music. (My dd just went through this phase)

Also maybe talk to the g-parents and see if they are having similar problems and try to get on the same page.

Newbie-SM
by on Nov. 18, 2013 at 9:18 PM
Thanks :) I too addressed the being afriad of the dark and if that were the case it would take place in the beginning of bed time. This hitting her self is defiantly not the 1st time and his parents have witnessed this behavior. The I unfortunate part is no one seems to think That right there is a HUGE RED FLAG PROBLEM! She's self harming and no one seems to giv a *€%#k sorry but grandparents & BM shove sugar down her throat & stick her in front of the babysitter (TV) :(


Quoting countrygirlkat:

If it is just recently that this has been happening I would start to question why now?  It could be as simple as she had a bad dream and it will take a while for her to get over it.  With her hitting herself though and taking it to such an extreme it would concern me.  I would have the dad talk to her mom and to his parents to see if anything that has happened recently to cause fear in her or if she has been having issues sleeping ath their places as well.  Obviously the lack of discipline at the other houses and the differences will have to be dealt with at some time, but with this sudden over the top fear(and the fact she is going to bed fine but having the fear later, if she was afraid of the dark she would be afraid at the beginning of the night too), would give me concern.


Newbie-SM
by on Nov. 18, 2013 at 9:20 PM
My bfs mom down right refuses to get on same page with me about anything tht concerns tht little girl. It's been a TWO YEAR FIGHT with me pushing the best for a child whom isn't mine. I'm done with trying to get on a same page with them :/ but the lamp suggestion is helpful thanks will try ..


Quoting -PB:

 If she is scared of the dark why not let her sleep with the light on.  Not like an ultra bright ceiling light but maybe a little table lamp or something.  And maybe get her one of those light up bedtime toys.  Maybe one that plays some soft music. (My dd just went through this phase)


Also maybe talk to the g-parents and see if they are having similar problems and try to get on the same page.


Newbie-SM
by on Nov. 18, 2013 at 9:23 PM
U would think grown ass adults would do that! :/ sad these ppl won't :( I defiantly do with my sons father & his wife.


Quoting atlmom2:

You all gotta get on the same page.

tyfry7496
by Silver Member on Nov. 18, 2013 at 9:33 PM
I would let her father deal with it. Your not the parent. Unfortunately, you don't have much pull. It's sad that they are doing this to her. You need to decide if it's worth the issue. There are just going to be more and bigger ones due to the lack of consistency.

The self harm is a huge red flag and needs to be addressed before she seriously hurts herself.
Newbie-SM
by on Nov. 18, 2013 at 9:40 PM
Can u pls explain more with the " decide if its worth the issue" comment thanks. And unfortunately there are pushing for me to have such pull with her. Except I don't want it. I'm here to help not take on :( I'm not trying to be mom to her I feel my job is to keep her safe and teach her what's right that's all but there actually giving me her :/. Her parent (DAD) is super supportive of my feelings but his parents aren't there the ones pushing :/


Quoting tyfry7496:

I would let her father deal with it. Your not the parent. Unfortunately, you don't have much pull. It's sad that they are doing this to her. You need to decide if it's worth the issue. There are just going to be more and bigger ones due to the lack of consistency.



The self harm is a huge red flag and needs to be addressed before she seriously hurts herself.

Sunshine257
by on Nov. 19, 2013 at 4:20 AM
I have no advice. My son wakes up at four every morning and crawls in bed with us. He is afraid of the dark and says there are monsters in his room and ghosts. I have no clue where he learned about ghosts. Anyway so we are kind of dealing with the same issue.
polkaspots
by Bronze Member on Nov. 19, 2013 at 4:24 AM
I still don't understand why you're with him if you're not with him and his daughter. They're a package deal just like you and your kid.
Stop getting up with her and send him in there since she's his kid and you don't want to deal with her because of how difficult the other care takers make it for you.
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