I made a conscious choice when my son was about 8 months old to give up consulting work and focus on being a mother - and I think I have been. My son is now 2, and has an excellent vocabulary, he's well-traveled (mostly because my parents have provided for said travel to join them at various destinations), and he is a sweet, loving child. I made the choice because - living so far from family and having no reliable sitters (I went through a few), I realized that I had to choose between local daycare (this is in no way a reflection of my views on daycare in general - just the local ones I've seen/we can afford). Financially, I didn't have to work, and I was tired of trying to schedule (then reschedule) client calls during naptime or after business hours, and the double load was wearing on my marriage (he would get home tired and stressed and we'd argue about why I didn't *need to* be working all night and why he was too tired to take over).
However, a year and a half later, and probably because of the age (thank you, terrible 2s), I'm starting to feel isolated. My husband travels often (monthly), and I have to turn down most social invites (or, like tonight, am simply not invited, bc we don't have a reliable sitter). Before our son, we were a great pair - we'd go to events together and promote each other. Now, I feel like the hired help - instead of strategy sessions, I plan laundry, meals, and chores. Perhaps because we shared the same field, and I know what I'm missing, it is particularly difficult for me to "ride the bench."
Today is particularly tough, because in my "birth club" (three friends who all gave birth within 6 weeks), one left her husband and decided she was going back into the workforce to stop relying on someone who didn't value her (iMHO - a decision long in the making), and the other was just prescribed Xanax - and called it "Mommy's helper." I'm not that dramatic, but my husband says I have a "free ride" (something he would never have said 2 years ago), and I feel like there is a bizarre power shift - his 40 paid hours have earned me 120 hours of unpaid labor.
For other moms out there in similar shoes, how do you maintain your sanity/identity?