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How long did you have to wait?

Posted by on Nov. 28, 2013 at 7:45 PM
  • 22 Replies

How long did you have to wait before your husband and you finally agreed on having a baby?


My son is five years old now and I want a baby desperately. I am waiting for my husband to say that we can start trying. I had my son from my relationship before my husband but my husband came into the picture when he was 2 years old so he has raised him like his own. Anyways I have been waiting for about a year for him to say we can try for a second his and my first but there is always something we are waiting for. First he wanted us to live closer to family, well now we do, now he is saying we have to wait till we make more money. I understand his concerns but at the same time it is really hard to wait. While I have been waiting I have watch 11 people I know including family become pregnant and give birth or are about to give birth. Babies are surrounding me all of the time on facebook, conversations and holidays. I am losing it. So how long did you wait before it happened. I am going on almost two years since I first brought up the idea, but no progress yet. 

CafeMom Tickers
by on Nov. 28, 2013 at 7:45 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Bmat
by Barb on Nov. 28, 2013 at 7:51 PM

We discussed having children before we were married, and we knew we wanted 2 about 3 years apart. Be sure that you tell your husband that you would like for there to not be too much of an age gap between your children.  If it were me, I don't think I'd mention anxiety and wishing from seeing others around me having children. Come up with logical reasons. :)  If he isn't interested now, ask him when he will be.  It may come to needing to speak with a counselor.

frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Nov. 28, 2013 at 7:57 PM

Why havent you had another discussion about it and see where he stands at this time? talk to him about your concerns, his concerns, the pros and cons about trying to conceive right now.

strictmomhere
by Platinum Member on Nov. 28, 2013 at 8:01 PM
We were only together a short time when i got pregnant we now have to boys together
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GodsAmiga
by Bronze Member on Nov. 28, 2013 at 8:03 PM

Our first was an oops-lol-but my husband was ready for another when our first was only a couple months old. I was ready right before she turned a year. After our second I was ready when she was 9 months but my husband wasn't ready until she was 2. Our third is 8 months now and no sign of either of us being ready for another yet. Lol!

waytomanykids10
by Bronze Member on Nov. 28, 2013 at 8:57 PM

 We started trying the day we got married. We got married January 10, 2005 and I got pregnant end of July 2005.

sbell02
by on Nov. 29, 2013 at 8:00 AM

we do talk about it alot and have converstations where he tells me why, and I get them. Thats why I havent gone to the extremes and gotten pregnant on "accident" liike some people do. We talked about kids before we got married and we talked about trying right when we got married but we moved the day after we got married to out of state so the problem was we wanted to be close to family so then we talked about when we got back to family we would try. So this summer we moved back near family and we said we would start trying august so that we can have the baby during next summer so that i will be done with school and go to work full time during the day. Now the problem he is giving is money. We took a pay cut when we moved back so it has been tight but I have a part time job making pretty good money and he still makes 50 thousand a year. We talked about it again last night and he said that if he gets this promotion at his work he will be making about 65 thousand a year and then we can talk about trying, but first he wants to go buy a house. So I said ok we can buy a house first to be grounded in one area and be in the same place when my oldest starts school next year. So now the plan is to buy a home this summer get settled in and if the money is good still we will try maybe in august. But I dont really want to do that because I dont want to be pregnant my first few months on a new job and then have to take maternity leave. I want to be settled in a job not pregnant... 

polkaspots
by Bronze Member on Nov. 29, 2013 at 8:05 AM
We decided to get pregnant and married at the same time. We got married and ds was born 10 months and five days later. We already had my 16 month old daughter when we got married. I didn't have to wait at all. Then we got pregnant with ds2 when ds was 13 months old. That wasn't an intentional gap, it just took that long for me to get pregnant because of breastfeeding.
I feel like you've been together for three years already, this is something you should have decided already. If he keeps changing the requirements for getting regnant again, maybe he's changed his mind and doesn't know how to talk to I about it.
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hemanclub
by on Nov. 29, 2013 at 8:11 AM

My husband was scared to get pregnant with all 3 of our boys.  He always had reasons but when I sat him down and told him how strongly I felt, he caved.  

AM-BRAT
by Amber on Nov. 29, 2013 at 8:11 AM
This, but girls. :)


Quoting strictmomhere:

We were only together a short time when i got pregnant we now have to boys together

amberNewman0213
by Bronze Member on Nov. 29, 2013 at 8:17 AM
No matter what their is never like a perfect magical time to have a baby. Things can always be better but if financially u guys can afford it now I don't see why not. Especially save in the nine months u will be pregnant.
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