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How do we talk to DH's 6 year old son about this?

Posted by on Dec. 2, 2013 at 2:43 PM
  • 42 Replies
My dh has a 6 year old boy and since we have been together, his little boy has said nasty things and talks a lot about male and female private parts. He has gotten a lot better about it, but some of the things are disturbing. He used to constantly touch his 11 year old sister's butt. We put a stop to that. He once "accidentally" grabbed his brother's privates during bed time. And he is infatuated with my 3 year old niece.. She came over to play on our water slide a few months ago when she was still in diapers and her diaper got soaked and fell off. He stared at her privates with a curious look, but to me...it looked like more than just curiosity. My dh feels the same way sometimes. Well since that incident, nothing has happened...until Thanksgiving Day.

My sister, my niece, and my nephew came to our place for Thanksgiving. My sister came to me and my dh and said that she found them in the closet together. (Our 6 year old boy and her 3 year old daughter.) Well my dh called him into the kitchen, and ss ducked behind the crib and hid as if he knew he was doing something wrong. Dh called him again and he shook his head no. So dh started counting down from 5 and he finally came to dh. When dh asked him about it, he said he was hiding from her because she wouldn't leave him alone. He said it in a very quiet, guilty voice while looking down at the ground and playing with his hands.

My dh has no idea what to do about this.. We have had worries in our head a few times, but how do you approach a situation like this? Should we have a sit down with dh ex wife and her dh? I don't even know if they would agree to it, but should it be mentioned to them?
by on Dec. 2, 2013 at 2:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ladyraven16
by Member on Dec. 2, 2013 at 2:46 PM
Idk. My 4yr old hasn't gone that far but he is far to interested in private parts. He thinks its hillarious and I worry because its disturbing sometimes even though I want to believe its innocent. Maybe try a counselor or psychologist. I'm sure people will say that he's being molested or abused but my son is never away from me except preschool so I know that's not his problem. Good luck!
countrygirlkat
by Kathleen on Dec. 2, 2013 at 2:47 PM

I would be concerned because at 6 and younger he really shouldn't even know about stuff like that so it makes you wonder where he learned it.  I would think your DH should mention it to his ex and see if she has noticed anything. 

crochetmom07
by Member on Dec. 2, 2013 at 2:50 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree with this.

Quoting countrygirlkat:

I would be concerned because at 6 and younger he really shouldn't even know about stuff like that so it makes you wonder where he learned it.  I would think your DH should mention it to his ex and see if she has noticed anything. 

eyes_on_jesus
by on Dec. 2, 2013 at 2:54 PM
Well unfortunately, he lives with his mom and stepdad so we don't know what goes on over there and we can't keep an eye on him. He is such a sweet boy, so my dh and I both would be heartbroken if anything happened to him.

Quoting ladyraven16: Idk. My 4yr old hasn't gone that far but he is far to interested in private parts. He thinks its hillarious and I worry because its disturbing sometimes even though I want to believe its innocent. Maybe try a counselor or psychologist. I'm sure people will say that he's being molested or abused but my son is never away from me except preschool so I know that's not his problem. Good luck!
eyes_on_jesus
by on Dec. 2, 2013 at 2:58 PM
He says he learns things he repeats from friends at school and tv. Idk what he is watching at his house, but his older sister says that they are not allowed to watch anything above a PG rating unless it's a super hero movie like IronMan, Hulk, Thor, etc.. Which is the rule at our house too.
And DH's ex wife would not have a sit down chat without her DH.

Quoting countrygirlkat:

I would be concerned because at 6 and younger he really shouldn't even know about stuff like that so it makes you wonder where he learned it.  I would think your DH should mention it to his ex and see if she has noticed anything. 

Tiffanydshives
by Member on Dec. 2, 2013 at 2:59 PM
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twicethemomjess
by on Dec. 2, 2013 at 3:02 PM
My 6 yr old cousin was obsessed with private parts too. Even touched a boy at her preschool. She said because it felt good.
emarin77
by Bronze Member on Dec. 2, 2013 at 3:04 PM

In this case your husband and his ex wife have to talk to your step son about this incident and his sexual curiousity.  This is normal stuff that happens these years but it must be talked about with the parents.  If your husband/ex wife asks for your assistance go right ahead and help them.

eyes_on_jesus
by on Dec. 2, 2013 at 3:09 PM
I agree with you. My dh wants me involved with this incident and her dh is not comfortable with them handling things on their own because my dh was not the nicest man when he was with her. He was verbally abusive and said some horrible things in and after their marriage. So it would be a 4 group discussion. I am worried about my ss, but I don't want to get involved unless I am asked. And my dh has already asked me to get involved.
We have talked to a friend with a 6 year old boy and he says at this age, it's normal for boys. But my dh and I still worry.

Quoting emarin77:

In this case your husband and his ex wife have to talk to your step son about this incident and his sexual curiousity.  This is normal stuff that happens these years but it must be talked about with the parents.  If your husband/ex wife asks for your assistance go right ahead and help them.

kiwiskiwi29
by Member on Dec. 2, 2013 at 3:12 PM
1 mom liked this

Something might be going on at his mother's house. Abuse maybe? I think you should investigate. 

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