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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

How would you respond?

Posted by on Dec. 4, 2013 at 2:18 AM
  • 38 Replies

I gave birth to our 4th baby boy November 30th. Tonight I received this facebook message from my husband's aunt:

"Please don't take this the wrong way. I love you, love (husband's name omitted) and love your parents, but I have had years and years and years of infertility ending with a hysterectomy and removal of my ovaries. Frankly, I cannot stand to see pregnant pictures of you, see ultrasound pictures or pictures of your constantly growing family...it hurts too much. I frankly resent almost to the point of hatred your announcements of YET ANOTHER baby coming, I resent the baby pictures, and I can't help but think of you as simply another baby factory who doesn't know when to stop. It is TOTALLY unfair that you get all these beautiful babies and I don't have any, nor the hope of ever having a child in any possible manner. Before I hate you (it's not your kids' fault for being born), or say something that I will truly end up regretting, I have no choice but to defriend you so I don't get hurt again by your pouring salt into the wounds. I'm sure you don't mean to be hurtful, but I find your posts, pictures and especially your avatar to be completely arrogant and unfeeling. I don't expect you to understand or empathize. Why should you? But this is totally and completely unfair and I am not a masochist. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. And please forgive me for not exposing myself to your fertility any more."


How would you respond to this? Keeping in mind this woman hardly knows me as we've only met once and she's almost 50. My avatar was a picture of my younger brother(who passed away this year) and I my whole pregnancy until a month ago when I posted an updated picture of me...was I supposed to chop off my belly or something? We have plenty of other mutual family members that have several children that they post about more than I do mine. Where does this woman get off singling me out and referring to me as a baby factory and how do I respond to her? Right now I can't think of anything good to say so I've said nothing at all.

by on Dec. 4, 2013 at 2:18 AM
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Replies (1-10):
lilmoosesmom
by Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 2:21 AM

Honestly, she's fucking nuts......  It's not your fault that she couldn't have children. It's nature's fault.


I wouldn't answer. Just let it go... She's clearly not well in the head.

sparkle.ana
by on Dec. 4, 2013 at 2:22 AM
I tell her she's a selfish, bitter woman and should shove it. I have a sister in law like this, she has one child and hasn't been able to have more. She hasn't spoken to me since I announced my last pregnancy, he's three months now and she hasn't seen him. When she found out about my current pregnancy (I'm 6 weeks with number 6) she called and left a long, rude tirade on my voice mail. Her infertility is not my problem, I do not need to build my life around her or do anything at all to suit her needs, and neither do you. Where does she get off saying it's unfair that you have kids while she can't? It isn't your fault or problem that she can't, it's hers. She was incredibly rude, calling you a baby factory that doesn't know when to stop? What a rude, bitter, selfish old woman. Defriend her and leave it at that. If she says anything else, tell her to get over it and stop making her problems and misery yours.
a_and_j_momma
by Gold Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 2:23 AM
1 mom liked this
I would either not respond or just simply respond to say you are sorry that she feels that way and for her infertility and you wish her well
frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 2:27 AM

I would just ignore it truthfully since this is years of hurt and anger towards her own situation.  You just happen to be a whipping person for her to vent her spleen when it could hold no more vileness in it.

Disneymom18
by on Dec. 4, 2013 at 2:31 AM
Wow..just wow. I would defriend her first and not respond.
SheppardsLife
by on Dec. 4, 2013 at 2:47 AM

Fuck her. I'd go block her so i don't have to see her stuff either. She's obviously not a happy person and probably not someone worth being around anyway. This is HER problem not yours. Ignore it.

Pink.Frosting
by Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 3:18 AM

Well she can just go jump in a lake.  You weren't pouring salt in any wound - she was doing that to her own self with her bitterness.  I would block her and forget she exists.

Baby5678
by New Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 4:12 AM

I'd ignore it.. honestly she's not really logical and you'd just add to the crap coming towards you if you said anything. Allow her to let herself out.

Okie-chick
by on Dec. 4, 2013 at 4:17 AM
Don't respond to her at all. She could have adopted. You didn't do anything wrong obviously.
reindeer-c
by on Dec. 4, 2013 at 5:04 AM

I think she is just in pain with her situation. When you want to concieve so badly, it is like a knife going through your heart everytime you see a pregnant woman. You are happy for them, but so jealous  that pregnancy is not happening for you. I felt this way when I was going through infertility treatments. She feels empty in her heart that she cannot concieve. Try to put yourself in her shoes. I do not believe she was trying to be cruel even though it may feel so. Just imagine wanting something so bad, and seeing others recieve it multiple times. I would honestly try to help her. Reproduction is the reason for living. I have had 3 boys since my infertility treatments. She loves you, but just feels inadequate because her body will not produce a child. This is a very emotional situation. Cut her a break and move on.

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