Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Crazy situation with father- please help!!

Posted by on Dec. 10, 2013 at 2:41 PM
  • 3 Replies

This is going to be very long and I am really seeking some type of advice what to do..

My son's(2 months old) father is being a real piece of work- is saying the least. While I was staying with him (In January of '13) he was saying he was going to leave me and I would be able to stay in his room but he will be staying in the living room (this is in his uncles house) because he can't stand the sight of me. Why? Because apparently I didn't talk to him. So, one day as he was arguing with me I slept on the sofa and in the morning I had work. Something told me totake a pregnancy test and TADA I was pregnant. I left him a note (since we had a long night) and we were very excited. He was very sorry for what he has said and once I got home the first thing he said is, you have to go on welfare, food stamps, wic, family assistance, INSTEAD OF, omg I need to get a job. He is a tattoo artist but does it at home, which is highly illegal. Next morning as I woke up he told me, I dont think this baby is mine. How could it not be his- is beyond me when all we did was sit around the house together because he didnt want to go anywhere since it cost money that wasnt his. I got a couple of my things and tried to storm out bt he wouldnt let me leave. he would block the door from me and yell in my face, spitting on me. I didn't say anything, knowing it would upset the baby, and managed to get in my car. I started it up, letting it run for a second, and as I was about to pull off he ran and jumped on my car, punching the windshield. I couldn;t go anywhere, I doidn;t want to hurt him, even though he wanted to hurt me again and as he stomped off the hood of my car I was able to speed off to my mom. Ever since I have left him he has threatened to take me to prison and take custody of my son. He has blind rage and has done, and still does, so many illegal things and I have proof.

I have recently moved states away while I was pregnant and he knew all about it and I even gave him my car so he could get a job. A real and legal job. He still threatens me to this day and I just don't know what to do. his name is NOT on the birth certificate, so I was told he has no legal rights without a paternity test. The police told me to file a domestic abuse case but they denied me since it happened over six months ago. I'm just scared he is going to come where I am and kill me and my mother just to get my son. He is a dangerous man, and all I wanted to do was help him.

Should I go to counseling? should I still file with the police?
Or should I just leave it alone- he could be trying to scare me into doing something stupid.

Help!

by on Dec. 10, 2013 at 2:41 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-3):
famiglia_bella
by on Dec. 10, 2013 at 2:52 PM

Definitely get into counseling as being in this situation is a result of your choices.  No judgment, we all make mistakes and have to relearn some things about being healthy.  And speak to the authorities again and see if it is indeed to late to file a report.  If he is still threatening you, you need to keep a record of it.  Stay far away, do not contact anyone that is in contact with him.  As for paternal rights, if he has no money, there can be no DNA test, so you might have saved yourself some grief by leaving his name off the bc.  Best of luck to you.

Bmat
by Barb on Dec. 10, 2013 at 3:25 PM

Probably you should consult a lawyer to find out your rights and responsibilities and what to do for your protection.

kiwiacg
by on Dec. 10, 2013 at 5:10 PM

A lawyer said that he has no rights since hes not on the birth certificate but if there is a chance of him coming in then to talk to him.
I'm going to go to the police tomorrow and get every help I can get since its too cold now, I don't want to take my son out.
I mean, we are almost a thousand miles apart so he would need a lot of money to come where I am and if he does he's selling drugs- it's the only logical way.
I deleted y Facebook because someone on my friends list was telling him everything. So he knows my sons name and might know where I am. That's why I'm so scared.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)