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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

If you were a single mother when you got married.....

Posted by on Dec. 18, 2013 at 10:19 AM
  • 8 Replies
How did you meet your husband and does he treat your kids like his own?

I'm only asking because I don't think I'm ready to date yet (I've been single for 4 years) out of fear that man won't want me since I already have a child. I've joined a few dating sites and deleted my account once I saw most men had checked the option that they don't want kids from a previous relationship. However I know a girl I went to high school with had a son at 17 and now seems happily married and has 2 kids. I don't have the best self esteem and I'm pretty awkward when it comes to being social. I'm just scared I'm going to end up alone when I'm 40 (I'm 24 now and my dd is 4).
by on Dec. 18, 2013 at 10:19 AM
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Replies (1-8):
2004MAMA715
by on Dec. 18, 2013 at 10:27 AM
I felt the same way. I had two kids and actually stayed with their father longer than I should have because I was afraid to be alone. I got lucky though and the man I am with now is actually a man I met and became friends with before my children were born so he has basically seen them grow up. My oldest and him have been great friends for as long as I can remember. My youngest now wants to be just like him. They have a little bit of a different relationship now because he is a parent figure not just a friend but he definitely treats them great. Better now than before we were together.
BrightKisses
by on Dec. 18, 2013 at 10:30 AM
Aw that is great!!!!

Quoting 2004MAMA715: I felt the same way. I had two kids and actually stayed with their father longer than I should have because I was afraid to be alone. I got lucky though and the man I am with now is actually a man I met and became friends with before my children were born so he has basically seen them grow up. My oldest and him have been great friends for as long as I can remember. My youngest now wants to be just like him. They have a little bit of a different relationship now because he is a parent figure not just a friend but he definitely treats them great. Better now than before we were together.
Mommy2justone
by Mommy2justtwo on Dec. 18, 2013 at 10:30 AM

I was the child in your question. My mother married (many) step fathers during my childhood. 
My recommendations would be to take things REALLY REALLY slow. Don't introduce your children to your date till you KNOW you will be with him forever.
And don't force your children to call him daddy. (Not saying you will, just that I was) 

There are some really good men out there that don't care if you have children, you just have to find them :) Good luck

nicoleg806
by on Dec. 18, 2013 at 10:31 AM
I met my hubby online and had 4 kids. He lives them all and provides for them all as well
jjchick75
by Member on Dec. 18, 2013 at 10:36 AM
I met my husband through a mutual friend at a Christmas party. We both had a child from a previous relationship. He adores my daughter and my daughter adores him and I adore his son and his son adores me. We don't use the word step in this house. They are all our kids.
starlite204
by on Dec. 18, 2013 at 4:29 PM

i think it doesnt matter if you already have a child at least you will know that he will love you because of who you are, but beware alot of guys will act totally different at first just because they want a relationship with you, you have to find out if he wants a good relationship with your child too but dont jump to fast into it ,take yoyur time to find the right guy, your child needs to be treated good too.

tcallisto
by on Dec. 19, 2013 at 10:26 AM

I am actually on my second marriage, with children.  I had my first son when I was 19, and married his stepfather in 2004, and he was (and still is) great to my oldest.  We had a child together, then subsequently divorced due to nfidelity.  Even though we have been apart since 2007, he still comes to functions, and does things with the oldest.  However, the worst part of our divorce was his family.  They acted as if oldest ds never existed, though when we were married, he had to be included in everything and was not addressed as the srep-grandson or nephew.  So, after that, I knew if I ever dated again, it would be someone who had been part of a blended family growing up.  I have been with him 5 years this February, and we are expecting our second child together.  DH treats both plder children as his own (which was how he was treated) and it has been great, for everyone.

Just take it slow and watch how they interact with each other.   I knew my husband was the right one when I saw him able be at functions with the kids and the bd and new sm and we could all pull together for the sake of the child. 

Dee0886
by on Dec. 19, 2013 at 10:30 AM

We had been aquaintences for a while and when I moved back after my divorce we bumped into each other while I was out one night and started dating. My kids adore him and he adores them. He does treat them like his own. My Exdh is still in the picture (though he lives in another state) and he and my dh get along great. They just started calling him dad and you can see how much he lights up when they do that. (DS is 6 and DD almost 5). Dh and I have a 7 month old son also

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