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I'm at a loss for words... He lost $1,200...update**

Posted by on Dec. 18, 2013 at 2:03 PM
  • 50 Replies
Gambling?! I don't even know what to do right now much less think. Okay so we have always been very open with each other, I knew that he bought about 20 $1 items on ebay so he could turn around and sell them again, I knew he played poker on his phone, I knew he asks his friends here and there to set up games to play poker but he knows I'm not okay with it and I tell him that he can't do that (we both compromise for each other and I'm not going to let him waste our money were saving for a new 2 bedroom apt on a game) I'm fine with all that stuff because it's not a huge deal. However the night before last night he came home from work and told me nothing was going on, he had a good day, etc. The norm. I asked what was up because he was seemingly a bit down. Anyways, he came home yesterday night crying and freaking out, hitting his car and saying that the baby and I need someone who is stable and won't screw us over. He explained that the night he lied to me and said everything was fine he lost $390 at a corner store playing a game (throw a ball, win $100, first times free, the $5 for chance to win $200, $10 for $300, etc. It just doubles.) he lost after so many tries and they said come back tomorrow and gave him a receipt. He said he just wanted to be able to get the apt early as a Christmas present and that he could've won $10,000 an that the guy had a license for it and everything. I don't know what to say, I've never been in this situation before. We've been together 8 months today. All I can feel really is anger and sadness and frustration. I have no idea what to do.

**UPDATE: most of y'all are asking if I have considered gamblers anonymous, controlling the money, and finding someone new, 1. I have considered gamblers anonymous and am looking into it, if you have any ideas considering it or how to talk to him/ deal with him about it PLEASE comment!(: 2. I talked to him yesterday about potentially holding onto the money and rationing it like married couples did in the old days (for those of you who don't know, that's the kind of relationship we want, with the man in charge of the money making, woman staying home with the children and house) and we are considering the idea of it. I think it's a great idea, and his parents do the same I will let you know what happens. 3. I do not plan on finding anyone new at the time, so please don't comment unless you have any advice on how to help this. Thank you guys!
by on Dec. 18, 2013 at 2:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
nuts4scouts
by Bronze Member on Dec. 18, 2013 at 3:21 PM
2 moms liked this

I suggest you contact Gamblers Anonymous.

He needs help, and you need help in dealing with his addition.

SamMom912
by Silver Member on Dec. 18, 2013 at 3:57 PM


Quoting nuts4scouts:

I suggest you contact Gamblers Anonymous.

He needs help, and you need help in dealing with his addition.

Yep. 

This is out of his control. He needs help. There is nothing weak about asking for help. Weakness is NIT asking for it, 

hammack_linda
by on Dec. 18, 2013 at 6:53 PM
Quoting SamMom912:

Quoting nuts4scouts:

I suggest you contact Gamblers Anonymous.

He needs help, and you need help in dealing with his addition.

Yep. 

This is out of his control. He needs help. There is nothing weak about asking for help. Weakness is NIT asking for it, 




That's what I thought at first but was told that places like that are where they meet friends who do the same stuff and it just get worse.
lilblu399
by Bronze Member on Dec. 18, 2013 at 7:01 PM
1 mom liked this
Honestly, after 8 months, I would dump him, that is too short of a time for dealing with such nonsense. I stuck with a guy for 2 years who did the same crap, he never changed.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
SamMom912
by Silver Member on Dec. 18, 2013 at 7:11 PM

I know someone who went to AA.. Clean and sober for 28 years... Im sure some people do, but the majority of people find the help they need. 


Quoting hammack_linda:
Quoting SamMom912:


Quoting nuts4scouts:

I suggest you contact Gamblers Anonymous.

He needs help, and you need help in dealing with his addition.

Yep. 

This is out of his control. He needs help. There is nothing weak about asking for help. Weakness is NIT asking for it, 




That's what I thought at first but was told that places like that are where they meet friends who do the same stuff and it just get worse.


hammack_linda
by on Dec. 18, 2013 at 7:12 PM
Quoting lilblu399: Honestly, after 8 months, I would dump him, that is too short of a time for dealing with such nonsense. I stuck with a guy for 2 years who did the same crap, he never changed.


The only thing is I believe in him he's never done anything like this before. Other than this he is the best person I have ever been with, he's perfect otherwise, everybody's got some kind of flaw.
hammack_linda
by on Dec. 18, 2013 at 7:13 PM
Quoting SamMom912:

I know someone who went to AA.. Clean and sober for 28 years... Im sure some people do, but the majority of people find the help they need. 

Quoting hammack_linda:
Quoting SamMom912:

Quoting nuts4scouts:

I suggest you contact Gamblers Anonymous.

He needs help, and you need help in dealing with his addition.

Yep. 

This is out of his control. He needs help. There is nothing weak about asking for help. Weakness is NIT asking for it, 




That's what I thought at first but was told that places like that are where they meet friends who do the same stuff and it just get worse.



I will look more into it. Thank you.
atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Dec. 18, 2013 at 8:35 PM
Move on.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
hammack_linda
by on Dec. 18, 2013 at 8:45 PM
Quoting atlmom2: Move on.


Care to explain?
frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Dec. 18, 2013 at 8:51 PM


Quoting hammack_linda:
Quoting SamMom912:


Quoting nuts4scouts:

I suggest you contact Gamblers Anonymous.

He needs help, and you need help in dealing with his addition.

Yep. 

This is out of his control. He needs help. There is nothing weak about asking for help. Weakness is NIT asking for it, 




That's what I thought at first but was told that places like that are where they meet friends who do the same stuff and it just get worse.

If he wants help, he needs to try. As with every addiction, there are success stories and there are those who never escape addiction.  Who told you those places make things worse?

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