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What's with the favoritism?

Posted by on Dec. 26, 2013 at 12:55 AM
  • 20 Replies
I have 2 kids. A 5 yr old boy and a 2 yr old girl. My SIL has 2 also, a 6 yr old girl and a 1.5 yr old girl. Her sister (my other SIL) gave HER kids two HUGE bags full of gifts- not cheap ones either- these bags had to be 4' tall and full to overflowing with gifts. My kids got a single present each from Granny and Papa, nothing from aunties.

These are my DHs sisters! But they constantly exclude my kids. This year my DS noticed. Asked me why he only had 1 present and they had so many more! We always get all of the kids under 14 a gift- no matter who those kids are, and I get that not everyone can do that.... But really? She is their AUNT! She favors her sisters kids over ours? Not even a card or anything. I asked DH about it and he said they're just like that and always were. I am considering leaving before the gift exchange from now on because he won't say anything and I doubt that it will ever change.

Am I being unreasonable that she SHOULD consider all of her nieces & nephews and not just her 2 favorite? (Oh and it's not that the kids need anything or mom can't afford Christmas. They are spoiled and have so much that half of their toys reside at granny & papas house! )
by on Dec. 26, 2013 at 12:55 AM
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Replies (1-10):
A.J.s_mommy
by Bronze Member on Dec. 26, 2013 at 1:00 AM
I don't buy for my brothers children. They each have 3 kids. I never see or hear from them. My sister has 2 kids. I buy for them. We exchange at her house or mine though. Never at my dads when everyone else is there.
Roo1234
by Bronze Member on Dec. 26, 2013 at 1:03 AM
1 mom liked this
While it isn't polite to do it in front of the kids, it is probably a result of a close relationship between the sisters. You can't change it, life isn't fair, but avoiding it in the future might be a good option
frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Dec. 26, 2013 at 2:05 AM

I would skip out before gifts as well so that the children arent constantly hurt by this.  This is the first year we bought for dd's cousins.  Each family got the same thing.  A 6 pack of card games.  The exception was newest cousin who is 3 months old.  He got his own toy and an outfit.

a_and_j_momma
by Gold Member on Dec. 26, 2013 at 2:43 AM
I don't think that is right to do that in front of kids. I would explain to your kids that Christmas isn't just about the presents. It doesn't sound as though you can change her and may just need to leave before the gift exchange in the future
steffiecox
by on Dec. 26, 2013 at 2:58 AM
its like that with dh's family. Its his Aunt that does it. I hate going to her house, cause it4s not just christmas, its all year 'round. Some of the nieces (there's one boy out of 11 girls) get more gifts and attention from her and its because dh and I don't go to church. If wwe went to church every single day like she does then our kids would get a more special attention. Her favorites she a specially made cake for their birthday and get all kinds of pictures taken. She's a photographer and makes beautiful cakes. My kids are too young to notice. I'm gonna hate it when the day comes when they're older and see how some of the kids get special treatment and they don't.
MumsTheWord571
by Gold Member on Dec. 26, 2013 at 3:28 AM
I've explained it to them, but I remember the feeling from my 1/2 sisters aunt doing the same to me. DH said next year before gifts he will tell his Dad that if his sis is handing out a big bag of gifts to his nieces we will leave first. Our kids are too young to understand favorites just yet.

Quoting a_and_j_momma: I don't think that is right to do that in front of kids. I would explain to your kids that Christmas isn't just about the presents. It doesn't sound as though you can change her and may just need to leave before the gift exchange in the future
MumsTheWord571
by Gold Member on Dec. 26, 2013 at 3:31 AM
See. I think SIL does it because DH is her 1/2 brother and their sister is her full sister. Not cool. Take your issues somewhere other than to my kids!

Quoting steffiecox: its like that with dh's family. Its his Aunt that does it. I hate going to her house, cause it4s not just christmas, its all year 'round. Some of the nieces (there's one boy out of 11 girls) get more gifts and attention from her and its because dh and I don't go to church. If wwe went to church every single day like she does then our kids would get a more special attention. Her favorites she a specially made cake for their birthday and get all kinds of pictures taken. She's a photographer and makes beautiful cakes. My kids are too young to notice. I'm gonna hate it when the day comes when they're older and see how some of the kids get special treatment and they don't.
Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Dec. 26, 2013 at 5:14 AM

That's very rude of them. Most people would buy for all the children who were going to be present at the gift exchange. BUT, it can be a good life lesson for your kids that things aren't always fair at all and they should be grateful for whatever they do get.

AbbyWalsh
by Bronze Member on Dec. 26, 2013 at 8:29 AM

Are you close with the sisters-in-law in general?  

CampClan
by Bronze Member on Dec. 26, 2013 at 11:15 AM

I don't buy for my neices & nephews either. I have 5 kids myself to buy for (my older brother also has 5 kids). And I don't talk to my brother let alone his children. (He was military until this past October & moved across the country when he got out. Other than seeing him on his trek across country the last time I saw him was back in 2008)

My younger brother use to buy for my kids but didn't this year (not an issue- I never expected him to buy for my kids). But when he did I don't think he bought for our other brother's kids. 

Quoting A.J.s_mommy: I don't buy for my brothers children. They each have 3 kids. I never see or hear from them. My sister has 2 kids. I buy for them. We exchange at her house or mine though. Never at my dads when everyone else is there.


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