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Birthday Party Woes.... to do it together or separate

Posted by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 1:35 AM
  • 5 Replies

 

Poll

Question: If you are a separated parent... Do you plan your child's birthday party with your ex or do you both throw your own party?

Options:

Separate Parties

One Party


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Total Votes: 5

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My sons father (A) and I have been broken up for awhile but we have gotten along and have done birthdays and holidays together up until this year. For the first time, I had Christmas alone with my son. His father wanted to be there but I have moved on and am in a new relationship. With someone whom A does not like. We will call my  new bf B. Well A and B do have a negative history and it does all have to do with me. Now it is time for my son's 6th birthday. I am planning it and paying for it. A does not really ever hold a job long enough to pay support. He says he wants to though. So he most likely wasnt going to help pay for the party. Tonight I told him that I intend to invite B and his daughter to my son's birthday party as well. Now we were originally planning to do this together and A was going to come to the party along with his side of the family. Well once I told A that i was going to invite B, he said "no youre not and if you do there will be a fight. I will punch him in the face and beat his ass" I told him to grow up and act like an adult and that none of that would be happening at the party. We fought about it a little bit and he finally said "well then i wont come, i'll throw my own party for him, i dont have to help you with his party and I wont."

So now I do feel bad... naturally. I want my son to enjoy his birthday and I want what is best for him. But I find it frustrating that his father can not be an adult about the new man in our lives. Do you think I should just invite his dad to the party and leave my boyfriend and his daughter off the invite list or do I say... fine have your own party and just have my own and invite whoever I want?

Should I feel bad? I'm sorry Im new at the single mom stuff and I struggle with it alot. Emotionally it is rough and draining.

by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 1:35 AM
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Replies (1-5):
AJsMom81507
by Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 6:52 AM
1 mom liked this

how long have your been with your new BF?

your ex is being an ass, but if your relationship is new (which is sounds like it is) i dont blame him for wanting him not to be there.  maybe is trying to nicely say, stop bringing all these men around my son.  

AM-BRAT
by Amber on Jan. 8, 2014 at 12:04 PM

I can see how that would be VERY frustrating.

Does the new man have to be there?

Idk what I would do.

I have friends whom are doing the divorce thing pretty well and planning things together for the most part.

For you, it might be best to do two small things than one big one. Especially if you would have to depend on ex for help. I hate that. How old is the kid?

OneHotMaMi
by Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 12:39 PM

 

Quoting AJsMom81507:

how long have your been with your new BF?

your ex is being an ass, but if your relationship is new (which is sounds like it is) i dont blame him for wanting him not to be there.  maybe is trying to nicely say, stop bringing all these men around my son.  

 I have been with my bf on and off for the last two years. There is negative history between the ex and my bf. I know I was in the wrong but I cheated on my ex with my now bf. We had a bumpy two years and were on and off. I had considered giving my ex another chance and then it didnt work and he wasnt ready to quit trying. When my ex first found out I cheated... My bf now beat up my ex. So there is negative history between the two. But my bf now is in our lives and I do love and care about him. But I also want my sons dad to be an active part of his sons life. I want both opf them to be active in his life. His dad and his potential step dad.But I can see where it would be awkward.

143myboys9496
by Bronze Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 8:05 PM

Seems to me that 'A' made that decision already. He's planning his own party. 

Keep it separate. JMO.

a_and_j_momma
by Platinum Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 10:04 PM
First, I would never deny my child a shared holiday bc of a boyfriend.

I do share parties with my ex but we get along well and we split the cost.
If your ex can't be an adult and suck it up for your sons party, then let him have his own
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