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How do you handle tantrums?

Posted by on Jan. 12, 2014 at 10:57 PM
  • 11 Replies

Ladies, I am at the end of myself.

I have 2 year old twin boys, and the tantrums come faster than my contractions did when I went into labor with them! LOL OMGGGG. They cry, scream and throw fits over EVERYTHING. My first was so easy going during her 2's and 3's. I never really had to discipline her at that age, or level of compehension, if that makes sense. It is TOTALLY new to me to try to teach them not to tantrum, while also wondering what they understand and what they don't.

I'm lost, I'm exhausted, and I feel like I'm failing them. I need advice on how to weather these tantrums while keeping my sanity and guiding them through this time in their life. 

They are a little behind developmentally. Just now starting to put together 2-3 words, etc. They see a speech therapist once a week, but I need to know how to handle their emotions when they act this way....because right now nothing we are doing is consistent, and I know that is more damaging than anything. 

HELP and TIA! 



by on Jan. 12, 2014 at 10:57 PM
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Replies (1-10):
countrygirlkat
by Kathleen on Jan. 12, 2014 at 11:11 PM

My youngest is also 2 and is behind in speech as well.  He throws more tantrums then my older two did and I think part of it is because he can't express himself with words as well.  With that being said, I still do not want him thinking tantrums are okay or are a way to express himself.  When he throws them we tell him he needs to go in his room until he is done screaming.  We walk him there and shut the door(not all the way but where he can open it when he is ready).  If he comes out still screaming we send him back again.  When he comes out and isn't screaming we work with him to try to understand what he needs or to help him understand why he can't do/have something, but while he is screaming he doesn't get the attention. 

CarlyEliz
by Member on Jan. 12, 2014 at 11:18 PM
My 16 month old recently started tantrums. Usually I can figure out the cause and fix the problem but when I can't i tell him he isn't acting like a big boy and ignore him and once he isn't getting the attention he wants then he stops
a_and_j_momma
by Gold Member on Jan. 13, 2014 at 1:03 AM
2 moms liked this
I ignore it completely. I walk away or pretend like I can't hear it.
ceciliam
by Cecilia on Jan. 13, 2014 at 10:16 AM

When my son started to enter the tantrum stage, I just ignored it and he learned fairly quickly, that a tantrum would get him no where....have you tried that?

indymom72
by Bronze Member on Jan. 13, 2014 at 10:21 AM

My middle son is a tantrum thrower and even at 6 he will still do it occasionally.  I tell him to go to his room and when he's ready to be quiet he can join us.  He hates being by himself so its like I'm torturing him.  I just ignore it and he stops.

natural_s
by Bronze Member on Jan. 13, 2014 at 10:37 AM

 I had to do this with my now 3yr old when he was two. None of my other children every had tantrums but this boy showed me something and I noticed the more I paid attention the more he did it. Finally I just started ignoring his falling out on the floor, crying, screaming and whatever else he decided to do.

Once he realized that none of us was paying him any attention the tantrums shortened very quickly and then stopped all together.

Don't know if it will work for your little one but it worked very quickly for me. Also after he stopped the tantrum I would kneel down to his level and explain that he can not act like that and he has to use his words but while in tantrum mode I just ignored him completely.

Good luck, I know it can be very frustrating and annoying.

Quoting a_and_j_momma: I ignore it completely. I walk away or pretend like I can't hear it.

 

iamcafemom83
by Mariah on Jan. 13, 2014 at 12:03 PM
If we are out and about, we immediately go home, even if it means checking out early from grocwry shopping. I've had to do it before:(
If we are at home, I give one warning for them to settle down. If they do not, they go to their rooms for a time out. Or a time out chair.
Whatever you choose to do....stick with it. It will take time, but don't give up!!:)
-PB
by Gold Member on Jan. 13, 2014 at 12:29 PM

 This...

Quoting a_and_j_momma: I ignore it completely. I walk away or pretend like I can't hear it.

 If we are out and about (shopping, restaurant, etc) we go home.

mrsbarefootsoul
by Member on Jan. 14, 2014 at 11:02 PM

Thanks ladies! We have started being consistent on taking them to their room, as soon as they start the whole "fall on the floor and scream" thing. I tell them that when they calm down and want to be big boys, they can come join us again. Once they calm down, I go to them and explain why they can't act that way, and try to give them an alternate way to say it...or a simple 1-2 word phrase to explain what they want, or how they feel. I see a difference already!! (Knock on wood) Thanks again ladies!! 

sarahfaith123
by Sarah on Jan. 15, 2014 at 12:03 AM
The part that stood out was when you said you want to help them stop having tantrums. It's a natural part of development. I hold him after and give kisses. Two things I don't do are freak out and yell or cry and I don't give in. If my DS feels in control of himself he does better like by letting him do things himself or make decisions. Hope this helps, I know it's stressful.
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