please help, i dont know what to do anymore...
So I asked her to go to her room, its a good way to allow her to calm down and for me to not start yelling back because its exactly what she wants. She refused to go and I was told my dh that if she refuses, to take her to her room. So I took her armms and started to walk her to her room and she turned around and punched me.
I ended up holding her down and called dh's work to find out he's on his way home. She started complaining about wanting to be let go. I asked her if she would go to her room and she said "yes". I let her go and stood up and she immediately charged at me. I held her down again to keep her from hitting me. She complained she was getting warm, which I understood be cause I was sweating too. So I asked "are you going to come at me again?" Her reply "no". Once again I let her go and once again she came at me. So I held her down again until her father got home and I knew I was safe.
She's 11 years old and I know she has the ability to be a good kid. She's had issues before nd goes to anger management group counseling. I felt like it was working until recently when she started to go back to her angry self. I've suggested to dh one on one counseling because I think bipolar COULD be a play in it, but of course, I'm not a therapist so I can't guarentee.
However, my issue is idk what to do anymore. She acts like she has authority in the house over everyone else and treats everyone with the most disrespect possible then wonders why she gets none in return. Plus she told dh today that she doesn't want me here and I don't care abaout her. I do...I just don't know how to prove it when she's acting that way. Is there another way I could approach this? Her grandma keeps telling me to leave her be, well, I would if she would go to her room. She's not going to have rule on the house until she feels ready to listen again. That's just asking for more trouble.
Sorry for the long post, but seriously, any advice? Btw, I don't smack them. I don't feel its right since I didn't give birth to them... oh and lastly, dh has custody because her bio mom let some guy beat my sd when she was 8 and I found out her bio mom was abuseing her about a month ago and we had to contact cps.
Edit** I talked to her group counselor today. She is getting a referral for one on one counseling AS WELL AS family counseling. After reading the suggests for family therapy, it seems to be the best option so we can know how to handle her outbursts.
Also, I believe I had read something about me hitting her? I did not. Its not an approach I take with her or my ss either. Thank you everyone that offered support and advice!! I'm hopeful we can eventually get this all taken care of...