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Advice Please...

Posted by on Jan. 20, 2014 at 9:29 PM
  • 14 Replies

Hello,

 I am having trouble with my year 5 year old. Her father and i are separated and i recently remarried. My daughter calls her step dad "dad".Her father does not like that idea,and has told her numerous times to not call her step dad "dad"...to call him by his name.When i asked him about what our daughter had told me  he said well that man truly is not her father.When I asked her how she felt about that she said her heart says to call my husband dad because loves him as well. However now the issue is that my daughters father is now telling my daughter that she is not to listen to me when she"feels"that mommy is wrong! Seriously you are going to tell a 5 year old that?

Him and his mother have put so many things into my daughters head that she is acting out,i understand that it is a completely different environment over there but that is NO EXCUSE.

Now she doesn't listen to me or anyone...when i do correct her when she is acting out she says i want to go with my dad. I don't know what else to any advice on how to go about this situation..

by on Jan. 20, 2014 at 9:29 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Bleacheddecay
by on Jan. 20, 2014 at 9:36 PM

I would read Divorce Poison: How to Protect Your Family from Bad-mouthing and Brainwashing by Dr. Richard Warshak and work on the situation with tips from that book. *HUGS*

annajanetzi02
by on Jan. 20, 2014 at 9:39 PM

Thank You (:

could i purchase this book at any store..or do i have to purchase at a book store?

starlite204
by on Jan. 20, 2014 at 10:00 PM
1 mom liked this

Well seems to me he and his mother are jjelous, they dont want you to be happy and it seems like they dont want your daughter happy eaither, i would have a long talk with your daughter and tell her the truth that its her feelings that counts and theres no one that can change, the way she feels, that daddy and grandma sometimes say things that are not true because they cant except your new relationship with your step father but the only thing that matters is that you and your family are happy. thats what i would say.  hopefully everything works out for youand your family

Bleacheddecay
by on Jan. 20, 2014 at 10:04 PM

You could probably get it free at the library too.

Quoting annajanetzi02:

Thank You (:

could i purchase this book at any store..or do i have to purchase at a book store?


frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Jan. 20, 2014 at 10:15 PM

Could she call step dad - Daddy "first name" .  That was a solution my friend had for her daughter who had 2 men that cared for her her.  One was daddy and the other was daddy "first name" .

a_and_j_momma
by Platinum Member on Jan. 21, 2014 at 1:23 AM

I agree with this or making up a name similar. Like papa


Quoting frndlyfn:

Could she call step dad - Daddy "first name" .  That was a solution my friend had for her daughter who had 2 men that cared for her her.  One was daddy and the other was daddy "first name" .


fivekids2220
by Member on Jan. 21, 2014 at 6:49 AM
1 mom liked this

I would question how *you* would feel if  your ex-husband had your daughter call another woman Mommy.  Dad or Daddy is a special name, reserved for the person who is your father.  Unless her own father is not involved or your new husband has adopted her, she already has a Dad.  Have her call him something else, out of respect for the blood relationship she has with her father.  

annajanetzi02
by on Jan. 22, 2014 at 8:20 PM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting starlite204:

Well seems to me he and his mother are jjelous, they dont want you to be happy and it seems like they dont want your daughter happy eaither, i would have a long talk with your daughter and tell her the truth that its her feelings that counts and theres no one that can change, the way she feels, that daddy and grandma sometimes say things that are not true because they cant except your new relationship with your step father but the only thing that matters is that you and your family are happy. thats what i would say.  hopefully everything works out for youand your family

 

thanks i will continue to speak with her,Thanks i hope everything does as well :)

annajanetzi02
by on Jan. 22, 2014 at 8:21 PM

 

Quoting a_and_j_momma:

I agree with this or making up a name similar. Like papa

 

Quoting frndlyfn:

Could she call step dad - Daddy "first name" .  That was a solution my friend had for her daughter who had 2 men that cared for her her.  One was daddy and the other was daddy "first name" .

 

 the only issue with that ladies is now my ex is saying that he doesnt even want her to call him Stepdad he says she is to call him by his name..and nothing else

amberNewman0213
by Bronze Member on Jan. 22, 2014 at 8:25 PM
If this is causing issues in behavior and her well being and such I'd go to court. Judges do not take kindly to bad-mouthing the other parent and I felt with this with my ex. The judge ordered we take co parenting consuling and threatened supervised visitation if the bad-mouthing didn't stop.
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