If you are to be hosting a big (50-100 people) party of only family & close friends, but you have issues with a certain family member(s)- would you invite that family member(s) just to make TWO other people in the family happy?
BTW- the party is for YOU & BF & being hosted & paid for by YOU & BF.
I want my brother at this party. I haven't seen him since October (he was in the service & then got honorably discharged & has moved from the east coast to mid-America). And the time before that was Christmas 2008. TBH he & I aren't that close anymore but he is my brother. My mom & dad would be devastated if I did not at least invite him.
I don't get along at all with my SIL (this is why my brother & I aren't close anymore). Nor do I know my nieces & nephews well enough to want them at this party. The party will also include my own children, my boyfriend's children, his nieces & nephews (who he is close with), plus children of close friends (who I see at least once a month).
SO... do I save face & invite the whole family (like my BF suggested), even though SIL & I can't stand to be in the same room together (it's been an ongoing "fight" since she married my brother)??
Or do I just invite my brother hoping he will come yet knowing if his wife & kids aren't invited he may not?
I'd rather not go into detail as to why we don't get along. Let's just say we can't even stand being in the same room without there being tension- even if we aren't near each other or talk to each other.
ETA: Thank you ladies for your advice. As someone put it "it's not exactly an intimate affair"... well actually it IS. BF & I are planning our wedding & reception. As I said- we are paying for it ourselves. As far as family goes the ONLY family invited on my side are my parents & my brothers (2 total- one being the one that I have mentioned in this post). My other brother has no kids & is not married (but has been with a girl for 2 years now). And BF's family is HUGE (he is the oldest of 5 kids himself) so there will be a TON from his side of the family there. The rest of the invitees are people we know from church & a few close friends. So it is really an intimate affair.
But again... thank you for the advice... I am taking it into consideration.