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Do I have the right to be annoyed?

Im annoyed this morning ...very annoyed. My boyfriend asked to go to the movies so i said fine ill meet you there .When we went to the movies before he took me out for lunch afterwards . The time before that he just paid for the ticket and bought himself a snack and bought me nothing.

This time i show up...he has the ticket. ( matinee ticket so it was only 8 dollars) I walk to the refreshment stand and he walked to the esculator and waited for me not offering to buy me anything. I tell myself well fine he probaly is going to take me to lunch afterwards . Did he? NOPE. He did not . After the movie he says oh let me walk you back to the train station. We passed a mcdonalds he didnt even offer to take me there. So i was annoyed and it showed on my face and my attitude. 


Now my mom's words are ringing in my ear.  I always talk about atlantic city and how much i love it . He had never been to atlantic city but always talks about Vegas. He never been there eithier. Were way closer to atlantic city . So a few weeks ago he tells me oh for valentine's day we can go to atlantic city . I said hmm okay fine . I went and booked the hotel room  for two nights at a nice casino resort ( total was only $115.00 because its a weekday) He didnt offer to put any money towards it ... 


So were on the phone the other day and i told him i hope you have money for this trip and he told me he thought i was paying for everything. ( WHAT?! WHY IN THE HELL WOULD I PAY FOR THE WHOLE TRIP?!) He thought i was paying for his food/entertainment and everything as well as the hotel room. I told him im only paying for the hotel room . 


My mom is livid . She yelled at me and said he's the man he should be paying for EVERYTHING and i told her he doesnt have alot of money and they cut his days at work he's working maybe twice a week (and yes he is busting his ass looking for another job) . I know he doesnt have alot of money .

Initally i had no problem paying for the hotel because usually when he does take me on a date ( every payday so every two weeks) he pays for the date and i never pay for anything . He's taken me and my two kids to dave and busters and dinner afterwards and he took us to a bbq restaurant a couple of weeks ago . He also buys me things all the time like flowers/chocolates/teddy bears just to surprise me so its not like he's really taking advantage.


Now my mom is harping on me to get him to pay for this atlantic city trip but i know he doesnt have alot of money . I know how severely his days were cut and i saw his mom bitching at him in his text messages because she wants more money from him as well. I dont really want to ask him to pay for this trip. 


I was going to pay for the hotel and we were going to each buy our own food etc but my mom is telling me he's taking advantage and a man supposed to be a man and provide. I was going to buy him an alcoholic drink at the pool bar as well and order room service for breakfast one day just so he can have the experience (he's really never been anywhere nice before ) 

by on Jan. 31, 2014 at 3:18 PM
Replies (11-20):
valrubio
by Member on Jan. 31, 2014 at 9:49 PM
1 mom liked this
Why are you dating a boy who is very obviously a loser? Reminds me of a couple of my kid sisters.
Momofmenagerie
by Bronze Member on Jan. 31, 2014 at 10:22 PM
1 mom liked this
My only issue here is he INVITED YOU to go on this trip for valentine's day. If you did the research and found such a great deal. Then you've already gone above and beyond. It's fine to split food and other incidentals.... But HE INVITED YOU, so there was no reason at all for him to assume that saying "we'll go to Atlantic City" was you valentine 'a gift and that you'd pay for the whole thing.

I completely understand that he's under the gun for money.... But there either a HUGE miscommunication here, or those teddy bears have nice jewelry hidden in them.

I don 't agree he should pay for all of it, I do think that if he is unable to split, I would postpone this trip until a later time as obviously something's about equality, expectations, and clear communication definitely need to take place.
linmei
by Member on Jan. 31, 2014 at 10:36 PM
1 mom liked this
A man should be a man and pay for most or all of the dates and be gentleman at that. I would of just kept in real with him... like you did in this post. I would of told him honestly how I felt about him being such an ass.. and prob would of broke it off. I agree listen to your mom!
Oh and if you have children? How is he suppose to care for them and treat them if he cant even treat you like a lady...?
Mom2Boys9501
by Member on Jan. 31, 2014 at 10:37 PM
He's taking advantage of you.
CarlyEliz
by Member on Jan. 31, 2014 at 10:48 PM
Sounds like a loser! Stop making excuses for him
SarahSuzyQ
by Bronze Member on Jan. 31, 2014 at 10:54 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't think you should expect him to pay for everything, but it's really poor form that he didn't offer to help in any way... Especially since the trip was his idea. :-/

I think you guys need to have an honest conversation about the relationship and financial expectations. Clearly you are not on the same page, and it would be good for you to know where he's coming from in terms of what money he expects to spend, what he expects you to be paying for, etc.

Koam
by Member on Feb. 1, 2014 at 7:23 AM
I agree with this.

It sounds like you two need to communicate more about money and expectations. If he's busting his butt as you say to find a better job then it sounds like he's doing all he can and I wouldn't harp on him. I'd honestly cancel the trip and just go to a nice dinner, or have mom watch the kids so you can cook a romantic dinner at home and just be together. You'd probably spend the whole trip thinking/talking/worrying about money, and that's no fun.

Quoting atlmom2: No man should pay for everything. I am over 50 and not old fashioned. 1/2 for a trip, yes. Each should pay their way. How they treat you matters more than what they pay for.
suzanneyea
by on Feb. 1, 2014 at 7:26 AM

He is using you.

cjsmom1
by Silver Member on Feb. 1, 2014 at 7:33 AM
I think it's wrong to expect a man to pay for everything. It's more important how he treats you and your kids.
My problem is that he invited you to go on this trip. When someone invites you they are typically taking on the travel costs and hotel. This should have been discussed before, but needs to be discussed now.
steffiecox
by Steph on Feb. 1, 2014 at 7:37 AM
I would have talked to him about funds for the trip before booking the hotal for one. If you're worried about your trips to the movies and him not offering to buy your ticket/snack/food after then talk to him about it.
I can understand not having alot of money to spend, but if you can't afford it then don't make the plans.
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