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siblings rivalry

Posted by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 3:35 PM
  • 17 Replies
Hi moms again!
Need advice rush!
My boys are very well behaved for the most part..they r 6 and 3. They know how to play well with others. In fact, they love to play with others..but they cant seem to figure out how to get along with each other....constant fighting...they are selfish and mean to each other...no matter what I try...timeouts..spankings...taking privileges away...praising them when they are nice with each other...I am frustrated...don't know what to do anymore...
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 3:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
oahoah
by Bronze Member on Feb. 5, 2014 at 3:51 PM
1 mom liked this

I feel your pain : ) I have 3 boys ages 9, 6, 4.  I wish I could say I found a solution but for us it is keeping them busy, making sure they have chores and other things to keep them busy with limited free-time.  We have a lot of interaction with them as well, we will play board or card games as a family and sometimes we will just do 1 on 1 games. Something else that works is we have found who is instigating more often and he gets to just spend time with me and away from brothers, it turns out to be a reward because we get time alone together and brothers get to be left alone & not bothered. Pretty soon they want to start playing together again and we'll usually give them another chance.  One thing I have read is to make sure everyone has their own space, I know you probably have shared toys like we do, but we also let them have their own special toys that they don't have to share so they don't feel like their siblings get everything the same because it's not how life is.  If they have to share a room make sure they have their own part of the room.

Mom2Just1
by Mom2boys on Feb. 5, 2014 at 7:38 PM
1 mom liked this
Typical sibling rivalry.
proudmommytoOJ
by Silver Member on Feb. 6, 2014 at 6:20 PM
OK. Having their own space. Never thought of that specifically. I usually make them share everything. Thank u for ur advice

Quoting oahoah:

I feel your pain : ) I have 3 boys ages 9, 6, 4.  I wish I could say I found a solution but for us it is keeping them busy, making sure they have chores and other things to keep them busy with limited free-time.  We have a lot of interaction with them as well, we will play board or card games as a family and sometimes we will just do 1 on 1 games. Something else that works is we have found who is instigating more often and he gets to just spend time with me and away from brothers, it turns out to be a reward because we get time alone together and brothers get to be left alone & not bothered. Pretty soon they want to start playing together again and we'll usually give them another chance.  One thing I have read is to make sure everyone has their own space, I know you probably have shared toys like we do, but we also let them have their own special toys that they don't have to share so they don't feel like their siblings get everything the same because it's not how life is.  If they have to share a room make sure they have their own part of the room.

SissySmurf
by on Feb. 6, 2014 at 7:01 PM
1 mom liked this

My sister and I were the exact same way. We were at each other's throats when we were kids - constantly.  I remember my parents were fed up more than once.. We're only two years a part.  Today, I'm 33 and she's 35 and we are the closest in the family.  LONG time to wait from 3 and 6 years old but it started gettin' better when we were older teenagers.   

1squishysmom
by Bronze Member on Feb. 6, 2014 at 7:08 PM
1 mom liked this

 Oh, I wish I had some advice! Our boys are now 21 and 17. They fought every day from the time the youngest was 2 until the day our oldest moved out at 18yo. I thought I was going to rip my hair out! Thankfully, they are now best friends.

Amomstwojoys
by on Feb. 7, 2014 at 7:18 PM
1 mom liked this

Just hang in there! It will get better I promise you!!! My two boys are 6 years apart and you would think they would have gotten along better but our younger one was beyond beyond beyond naughty. He would NEVER back out from fighting with his big brother even though he was so much older and stronger for many years. The fighting that went on was ridiculous. I tried everything like you did but he still bit, hit his brother with his swords and even sprayed my perfume in his brothers eyes once. I know how you feel. I praised....did good boy chart, I screamed, I bared his butt and spanked it.......nothing worked. Today after so many years of fighting my sons are 29 and 23 and finally getting along most of the times!! They still rumble every now and then but....thats what makes boys....boys.

m.garcia21
by on Feb. 7, 2014 at 7:40 PM
1 mom liked this
Yeah i got nothing i have a one yr old and a three yo they are always fighting im hoping they will eventuall. Outgrow the sibling rivalry thing gl
PennOhioBabe
by on Feb. 8, 2014 at 6:14 AM
2 moms liked this
I agree!!!

Quoting Mom2Just1: Typical sibling rivalry.
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korra2013
by on Feb. 8, 2014 at 6:22 AM
1 mom liked this
My sisters and I fought bad growing up. Knock down drag out fights. Finally when I was 16 I got my own room with my sister that was 3 years younger. We all got along better but in the end we tried to give each other space. Personal time and space are very important.

Quoting proudmommytoOJ: OK. Having their own space. Never thought of that specifically. I usually make them share everything. Thank u for ur advice



Quoting oahoah:

I feel your pain : ) I have 3 boys ages 9, 6, 4.  I wish I could say I found a solution but for us it is keeping them busy, making sure they have chores and other things to keep them busy with limited free-time.  We have a lot of interaction with them as well, we will play board or card games as a family and sometimes we will just do 1 on 1 games. Something else that works is we have found who is instigating more often and he gets to just spend time with me and away from brothers, it turns out to be a reward because we get time alone together and brothers get to be left alone & not bothered. Pretty soon they want to start playing together again and we'll usually give them another chance.  One thing I have read is to make sure everyone has their own space, I know you probably have shared toys like we do, but we also let them have their own special toys that they don't have to share so they don't feel like their siblings get everything the same because it's not how life is.  If they have to share a room make sure they have their own part of the room.

iamcafemom83
by Mariah on Feb. 8, 2014 at 9:06 AM
1 mom liked this
Mine are 6 and 4. When it gets to be too much, I send them to their rooms separately.
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