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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Control

Posted by on Feb. 8, 2014 at 12:15 AM
  • 15 Replies

Do u ever feel like u have no control over your life? I do. My body says when and how many babies are coming out and how they come out. My money dictates how my life will be lived and no bf is deciding for me by having a vastectomy that we ate done having children together whether I want to or not. Then if I want to adopt children it has to be approved by someone else.  If I decided to leave bf then a judge gets to decided what happens to our children. What can't I just do with my life what I want to without someone ekes telling me what that is?

by on Feb. 8, 2014 at 12:15 AM
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Replies (1-10):
frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Feb. 8, 2014 at 2:40 AM

Why not take control and use some form of birth control?  You need to look within yourself and see the things that are within reach.  It is up to you whether you want to look at the negatives or look at the blessings you have.  If your bf is abusive or controlling, you need to find a way to get out and take the children with you.  Where there is a will, there is a way.

emmy526
by Silver Member on Feb. 8, 2014 at 8:42 AM

Get some counseling to learn HOW to control your life...i had to

143myboys9496
by Bronze Member on Feb. 8, 2014 at 9:57 AM

Sorry, I mean this in a constructive manner, but you seem to be very rigid in what YOU want. It's all about YOU, how many children YOU want. If I want to adopt it has to be approved by someone else..I, I, I....

Sometimes you need to compromise, and IMO, you and your bf should have talked about how many children you BOTH wanted to have BEFORE you started having babies. 

You need to understand that there are things we, as individuals, can control and things we cannot. There are rules within society like it or not that we need to follow.

Maybe talking to a counselor will help you get things in perspective.

ry22dance
by Bronze Member on Feb. 8, 2014 at 11:23 AM

I hear u on this, but how is it fair for him to go and get a vastectomy behind my back? Isn't that him being I, I, I, as he is saying I am done having children regardless of how u feel about having more. Why shouldn't we be able to control our lives and destiny.? Why should there be things out of our control? That just seems so unfair.  When I say I want to adopt I am saying it as why does it have to be approved by someone else to adopt. Why can't we has people adopt of we want? Why does someone else get to judge people and then decided if they get to adopt? Shouldn't we be allowed to do the things we want?

Quoting 143myboys9496:

Sorry, I mean this in a constructive manner, but you seem to be very rigid in what YOU want. It's all about YOU, how many children YOU want. If I want to adopt it has to be approved by someone else..I, I, I....

Sometimes you need to compromise, and IMO, you and your bf should have talked about how many children you BOTH wanted to have BEFORE you started having babies. 

You need to understand that there are things we, as individuals, can control and things we cannot. There are rules within society like it or not that we need to follow.

Maybe talking to a counselor will help you get things in perspective.


ry22dance
by Bronze Member on Feb. 8, 2014 at 11:27 AM

How dies counseling allow me to control my life? Will it allow me to decided how many children I want in my life? Will it allow me to adopt if I want? Will it allow me to decide if I leave bf how the custody of children will go?

Quoting emmy526:

Get some counseling to learn HOW to control your life...i had to


emmy526
by Silver Member on Feb. 8, 2014 at 11:28 AM

yes, it will...it will give you a whole different perspective on life.  

Quoting ry22dance:

How dies counseling allow me to control my life? Will it allow me to decided how many children I want in my life? Will it allow me to adopt if I want? Will it allow me to decide if I leave bf how the custody of children will go?

Quoting emmy526:

Get some counseling to learn HOW to control your life...i had to



othermom
by Silver Member on Feb. 8, 2014 at 11:30 AM

No, I don't. I know somethings I can't control, somethings I can

atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Feb. 8, 2014 at 11:45 AM
I agree. Sounds a little different.

Quoting emmy526:

Get some counseling to learn HOW to control your life...i had to

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atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Feb. 8, 2014 at 11:46 AM
Why do you want kids and no man?? Can you support a ton of kids on your own???
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ry22dance
by Bronze Member on Feb. 8, 2014 at 11:54 AM

I don't. I would love to have both but if the man I am with now doesn't satisfy my desire for enough children than why shouldn't I find one that will and that will make me happy. Don't I deserve to be happy. 

Quoting atlmom2: Why do you want kids and no man?? Can you support a ton of kids on your own???


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