Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Need Advice ASAP!!!

Posted by on Feb. 9, 2014 at 7:33 AM
  • 46 Replies
Help! Is it my responsibilty to throw my SIL a baby shower???
My MIL came out & basically told me it was. Im beyond annoyed.... I just spent THOUSANDS of dollars on her bachlorette, bridal shower, & wedding which was this past July. And was treated so poorly during all the wedding prep & during the wedding. I wasnt even in the wedding & wasnt even asked to have my pic taken with my SIL in the wedding garden....but all her other girls were asked. i dont want to hear they forgot, BULLSHIT! And they are so ignorant they have not a clue.
I dont know what to do. I also feel like i need to clue my MIL in to why i have kept my distance. Should I, shouldnt I???? My MIL is here now.
The other kicker is Im pregnant with me #2, im in a friends wedding, my mother is dying, & i feel like im dying. I just dont know if i can pull all this off, & for someone thay had showed me very little consideration. I wasnt even included in her pregnancy announcement...
Im hurt beyond belief... What do I do?
by on Feb. 9, 2014 at 7:33 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
korra2013
by on Feb. 9, 2014 at 7:39 AM
1 mom liked this
Hell no. You have enough going on in your life. You don't have to do anything for anyone.
Karmahappens
by Member on Feb. 9, 2014 at 7:42 AM
2 moms liked this

Say that you have too much going on in your life and you simply cannot help with this at this time.

lilmama8408
by Silver Member on Feb. 9, 2014 at 7:42 AM
1 mom liked this

no its not your job to host it. actually everybody i know had their baby shower hosted by the grandma or an aunt ect.

if you paid for the wedding stuff id say i cannot afford a baby shower as well as im pregnant and i need to save up for this baby and my family needs

914prego
by Member on Feb. 9, 2014 at 7:59 AM
1 mom liked this
Should I tell my MIL why am I so hurt by what happen at her wedding in July??? Do I bother? Do I sit on it? My blood
Is at rolling boiling?

Quoting lilmama8408:

no its not your job to host it. actually everybody i know had their baby shower hosted by the grandma or an aunt ect.

if you paid for the wedding stuff id say i cannot afford a baby shower as well as im pregnant and i need to save up for this baby and my family needs

lilmama8408
by Silver Member on Feb. 9, 2014 at 8:03 AM
1 mom liked this
Thats your call. That could very well cause more drams then you need or want. Id talk to your husband about that since its his mom.
Id probably leave it at you have plenty going on and just cant add extra.


Quoting 914prego: Should I tell my MIL why am I so hurt by what happen at her wedding in July??? Do I bother? Do I sit on it? My blood

Is at rolling boiling?



Quoting lilmama8408:

no its not your job to host it. actually everybody i know had their baby shower hosted by the grandma or an aunt ect.

if you paid for the wedding stuff id say i cannot afford a baby shower as well as im pregnant and i need to save up for this baby and my family needs

illogicalkat
by Bronze Member on Feb. 9, 2014 at 8:03 AM
2 moms liked this

No, you are not responsible for throwing her a shower! I can't believe she would just demand that, either. (Honestly, the more I read about your MIL, the more I want to slap her.)

Tell her "No." And if she presses, tell her "Hell, no." Point out to your husband that you really cannot afford to throw someone else a party. I doubt your SIL will care if you host her baby shower, or if someone else does. Let one of her friends or co-workers take care of that. You need rest, you need to spend time with your mom, you have a million and two things in your life that are far more important than your stuck-up, self-absorbed in-laws.

914prego
by Member on Feb. 9, 2014 at 8:19 AM
1 mom liked this
I very politely said to my MIL, I think Ill let my SIL friends & co-workers handle her shower. She replied with, "Oh, she doesnt have a lot if friends at her school (she is a teacher) & her best friends just spent all this money for her wedding!"
I dont even know what to say!

Quoting illogicalkat:

No, you are not responsible for throwing her a shower! I can't believe she would just demand that, either. (Honestly, the more I read about your MIL, the more I want to slap her.)

Tell her "No." And if she presses, tell her "Hell, no." Point out to your husband that you really cannot afford to throw someone else a party. I doubt your SIL will care if you host her baby shower, or if someone else does. Let one of her friends or co-workers take care of that. You need rest, you need to spend time with your mom, you have a million and two things in your life that are far more important than your stuck-up, self-absorbed in-laws.

emmy526
by Silver Member on Feb. 9, 2014 at 8:21 AM
1 mom liked this

you say, 'oh well, i guess thats too bad for them, but i have my own thing going on with MY baby coming, and sorry, you're going to have to figure something else out'..  

Quoting 914prego: I very politely said to my MIL, I think Ill let my SIL friends & co-workers handle her shower. She replied with, "Oh, she doesnt have a lot if friends at her school (she is a teacher) & her best friends just spent all this money for her wedding!"
I dont even know what to say!

Quoting illogicalkat:

No, you are not responsible for throwing her a shower! I can't believe she would just demand that, either. (Honestly, the more I read about your MIL, the more I want to slap her.)

Tell her "No." And if she presses, tell her "Hell, no." Point out to your husband that you really cannot afford to throw someone else a party. I doubt your SIL will care if you host her baby shower, or if someone else does. Let one of her friends or co-workers take care of that. You need rest, you need to spend time with your mom, you have a million and two things in your life that are far more important than your stuck-up, self-absorbed in-laws.


cjsmom1
by Silver Member on Feb. 9, 2014 at 8:23 AM
You should say that you spent a lot of money on her wedding too. Say that you have a lot of personal stuff going on and can't host the baby shower. And that you need to save money for your baby.
illogicalkat
by Bronze Member on Feb. 9, 2014 at 8:27 AM
1 mom liked this

If it was me, I'd probably say something along the lines of "Not many friends, huh? That's not a surprise."

But the polite thing to say is "That's too bad, but I really can't."

Quoting 914prego: I very politely said to my MIL, I think Ill let my SIL friends & co-workers handle her shower. She replied with, "Oh, she doesnt have a lot if friends at her school (she is a teacher) & her best friends just spent all this money for her wedding!"
I dont even know what to say!

Quoting illogicalkat:

No, you are not responsible for throwing her a shower! I can't believe she would just demand that, either. (Honestly, the more I read about your MIL, the more I want to slap her.)

Tell her "No." And if she presses, tell her "Hell, no." Point out to your husband that you really cannot afford to throw someone else a party. I doubt your SIL will care if you host her baby shower, or if someone else does. Let one of her friends or co-workers take care of that. You need rest, you need to spend time with your mom, you have a million and two things in your life that are far more important than your stuck-up, self-absorbed in-laws.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured