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spanking and hitting

Posted by on Feb. 23, 2014 at 4:00 PM
  • 18 Replies

 I can't spank my kids. We punish in our house for violence and thats just contradicting our rules. Some people do it most don't. I have a friend that dose. I'm not going to judge him but it does break my heart to watch. The question is, Why were people so ok with it before. What made our generation feel so strongly about it. I got spanked im sure most of you got spanked and so did my parents what changed?

by on Feb. 23, 2014 at 4:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Feb. 23, 2014 at 4:22 PM
1 mom liked this

We use spanking for dangerous things and such.   Hitting always gained a time out from toddlerhood on.  I also worked with her on gentle touch being good, rough touch (hitting) is bad.  If she tried to hit, she would be put down in a safe area and we walk away.

xtwistedxlovex
by Member on Feb. 23, 2014 at 5:21 PM
1 mom liked this
For me what made the difference was seeing my mother spank my younger brother - hard - over and over again for the SAME things. I saw it not working. And then my older brother saw fit to spank me once and I was humiliated. Not at all chastened, just humiliated and angry. I don't think that's a good way to raise a child. Watching my mom struggle with my brother made me think about it at a pretty young age, and I just didn't see why she couldn't give logical, RELATED consequences instead of resorting to the same ineffective method all of the time. That was what made me feel strongly about not spanking.
RitaTequila531
by on Feb. 23, 2014 at 5:25 PM
1 mom liked this
Me and my husband were spanked. We wanted something effective for disciplining our child. So, we don't hit, we lecture.
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Trial starts the 25th next month. Hope he gets life or death row
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by on Feb. 23, 2014 at 5:42 PM

I dont spank

1frog
by Bronze Member on Feb. 23, 2014 at 6:04 PM

 I spanked, when ds was very small for dangerous things. Once we could reason with him we didn't do it near as much, and completely stopped by 3 or 4. I am so sorry you were spanked by your brother. It was not his place to do that, and I don't know why your mother allowed it. One of my pet peeves is parents using the same punishment (whether spanking or something else) when it isn't working! Move on to some other sort of punishment already.

Quoting xtwistedxlovex: For me what made the difference was seeing my mother spank my younger brother - hard - over and over again for the SAME things. I saw it not working. And then my older brother saw fit to spank me once and I was humiliated. Not at all chastened, just humiliated and angry. I don't think that's a good way to raise a child. Watching my mom struggle with my brother made me think about it at a pretty young age, and I just didn't see why she couldn't give logical, RELATED consequences instead of resorting to the same ineffective method all of the time. That was what made me feel strongly about not spanking.

 

1frog
by Bronze Member on Feb. 23, 2014 at 6:08 PM

 A lecture is OK, but I always hate it when people go on and on and on about something, whether done well or something bad. I hope you know when to stop and don't keep a head of steam going for long periods. It should also depend on the age, I would think. There are methods in between spanking/hitting and lecturing that work quite well, time outs, grounding, taking away privileges, extra chores, etc. All I'm saying is please know when to quit. I remember being lectured for long periods as a child and it left me bitter and resentful.

Quoting RitaTequila531: Me and my husband were spanked. We wanted something effective for disciplining our child. So, we don't hit, we lecture.

 

Mommy2justone
by Mommy2justtwo on Feb. 23, 2014 at 7:45 PM

I think that some people went over the line with spanking and corporal punishment in general and now there is a stigma with it. 
We don't spank either. I just don't like hitting my kid. We found what works with her to help her correct her behavior and I don't think we need to use physical punishment.  

SamMom912
by Silver Member on Feb. 23, 2014 at 7:49 PM

I was spanked. i didnt learn what to do, I only learned it was wrong what I was doing. but spanking me never taught me the right thing to do. i dont respect my parents at all for the way they parented. i chose not to parent like them in that respect. 

RitaTequila531
by on Feb. 23, 2014 at 9:41 PM

She's about 8 now, so we've done an excellent job thus far but thanks.

Quoting 1frog:

 A lecture is OK, but I always hate it when people go on and on and on about something, whether done well or something bad. I hope you know when to stop and don't keep a head of steam going for long periods. It should also depend on the age, I would think. There are methods in between spanking/hitting and lecturing that work quite well, time outs, grounding, taking away privileges, extra chores, etc. All I'm saying is please know when to quit. I remember being lectured for long periods as a child and it left me bitter and resentful.

Quoting RitaTequila531: Me and my husband were spanked. We wanted something effective for disciplining our child. So, we don't hit, we lecture.

 

 

ms.lady04
by New Member on Feb. 23, 2014 at 9:49 PM
I dont like to spank I barly do It only If they do something really bad..
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