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Would you punish your child for not focusing in school?

Posted by on Feb. 25, 2014 at 4:35 PM
  • 66 Replies

 I'm not having this problem but my brother's having major issues with my nephew not focusing in school. He's only 6, so I think it's just a part of the age and he'll learn to sit still better and everything when he gets older (he doesn't seem ADD or ADHD, just a typical, active 6yo), but he's having some issues staying focused on what the teacher is saying and completing assignments during the allotted time.

After receiving another progress report mentioning his poor attention and incomplete work during class, my brother decided to punish nephew to "get the point across quicker." He took away TV, computer, and gaming privileges, as well as time to run around and play in the yard, ride bikes, etc., and is forcing him to read for an hour a day as well as work on worksheets from some book he bought. He says he'll get the time to play when he brings up his grades, not a moment before.

It's his kid, I know, so it's his choice what to do, but I just don't think punishing him like this will teach him the lesson my brother wants to teach. What do you think?

 

Some beach, somewhere
There's a big umbrella casting shade over an empty chair...

by on Feb. 25, 2014 at 4:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Aslen
by Silver Member on Feb. 25, 2014 at 4:37 PM
Wow that's harsh!
1squishysmom
by Bronze Member on Feb. 25, 2014 at 4:49 PM

  Both of our boys have diagnosed combined ADHD, so I'm not sure I can give an opinion about a child that doesn't. Honestly, at the age of 6, I think it would be quite common to not be able to focus. I don't think the connection would be made between having everything at home taken away and focusing in school.

 IMO, talking to him, giving examples, about how he should be sitting still and paying attention. Practice with him at home.

 If this doesn't improve and really is as bad as the report says, he may need tested for ADD, it isn't always as apparent as you might think.

 I would definately be contacting the teacher to find out why I wasn't notified before about the behavior before getting such a report.

 He may simply be one of the children that gets distracted very easily. I would imagine a room full of 6yos would have many distractions!

 Taking away everything, including being able to play outside seems outragous to me.

frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Feb. 25, 2014 at 4:58 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree.  Way too harsh and the child need an outlet for any extra energy they  have.  That is crazy to do all that at once for this one issue at school.   I would work with him at home doing stay still activites like board games or puzzles to help increase his focus.  There are many things that could cause a person not be able to focus besides adhd.

Quoting Aslen: Wow that's harsh!


tyfry7496
by Silver Member on Feb. 25, 2014 at 5:43 PM
2 moms liked this
No. Id find out WHY he can't focus not punish him.
illogicalkat
by Bronze Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 7:25 AM

He's 6. And a boy. How many six-year-old boys can really sit still and focus on just one thing for seven hours?

I'd be talking to the teacher first, before punishing a kindergartener/first grader for being a kid.

lapcounter
by Silver Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 7:26 AM
Has he always had a problem?
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andersongirl562
by on Feb. 26, 2014 at 7:29 AM
1 mom liked this

 I would punish my child but not to that extent. I would make sure any work not completed at school was completed at home and I would work with the child at home on sitting still and paying attention. I would take away tv and video games as those are not necassary and are distracting.

VACUTIE24
by Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 7:29 AM
1 mom liked this
That's to harsh I will set standards and I will help my child with assignments if he punish him this way he will act out more he needs to sit him down with the teachers and see what's the main reason he isn't focusing on his school work.Sometimes it's not the kids it's the teachers that's losing focus and then that makes the children lose focus.
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cjsmom1
by Silver Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 7:34 AM
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I only see a problem with not letting him out to play. He needs a way to burn off energy or the not paying attention will get worse. The reading and workbooks sounds like your brother is working on paying attention at home.
SamMom912
by Silver Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 7:47 AM
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Wow.. I can see how taking away something would teach a child to focus more in a classroom. Im sure the child is CHOOSING not to pay attention. Is CHOOSING to appear DUMB and LAZY by not finsihing assignments.. Im sure that the lack of privildges in his life will defineltey make him feel supported and understood by his family, and really steengthen the bond he has with his family. Im sure punishing him wont alientate him, and make him be forthcoming with future struggles. 

Obviously, I disagree completely with your brother. 

Id wonder what was getting in the ay of focus. perhaps he needs some occuptational therpay or sensory integration mixed into his day. Id wonder if his eyesight hearing or other issue was getting in his way... Kids WANT to succeed and please their parents and teachers, they WANT to do their best.. And when they dont , smething is getting in their way. It is up to US as the adults to help them, support them, solve the problem. 

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