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6 Secrets of What Makes a Happy Marriage

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Posted by on Feb. 26, 2014 at 9:24 AM
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6 Secrets of What Makes a Happy Marriage

by Ericka Sóuter

coupleThe secret to a happy marriage has long alluded couples? The staggering divorce rate is certainly proof of that. The traditional way our grandparents went about married life just doesn't work these days. So what does? Mystery solved thanks to the folks over at Happify. They have discovered the Science Behind a Happy Relationship. It's actually a recipe for how to make your marriage last and you know what, it just may work. Take notes!

Some facts didn't come as a huge surprise. For example, that having a friendship with your spouse creates more satisfaction when it comes to love, sex, romance, and passion. Though, you may be stunned to find out just how much sex you need to have to keep out of divorce court. 

Bedroom Behavior  The happiest couples get it on 2 to 3 times a week. But if that's too much nookie for you, those who had sex even once a week had more positive feelings about their marriage than those that didn't.

Pat on the Back The strongest couples openly celebrate each other's good news and triumphs.  They show enthusiasm, ask questions, and offer sincere congratulations.

Explore Nothing bonds you like experiencing new things, whether that be sky diving or traveling to a new country. Couples who did this report feeling more loved and supported.

Crack Each Other Up If you can't recall a moment where you shared a laugh, you are in trouble. Couples who share funny memories have better relationships. 

Your Fighting Style Matters Happy couples show humor, express affection, and concede on certain points when they argue. This diffuses tension, making for an easier way to resolution. Unhappy couples criticize, show contempt, roll their eyes, act defensively, and name call.

The Little Ones The happiest couples don't have children. Sad, but true. It easy to see why, though. The responsibilities of kids and family are an endless source of stresses that can weigh heavily on a relationship. For those that do have kids 67% who reported a drop in happiness leves. But all hope is not lost. Marriage satisfaction rose once the kids were grown and out of the house!

Take a look at Happify's amazing infographic. It lays it all out.

The Science Behind a Happy Relationship by Happify.com


Do you think any of these will save your marriage?

by on Feb. 26, 2014 at 9:24 AM
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SpiritedWitch
by Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 9:44 AM

We have been married since I was 15 and he was 18 ... 2015 will be our 30th anniversary.

We are very happy together despite the fact that we haven't had sex in over a year but only b/c of his health. It's painful for him. We don't see sex as a cornerstone of our relationship. 

We share a dark sense of humor. 

We rarely fight anymore ... just disagree. We used to have major fights when we were younger b/c we both have nasty, fiery tempers. I am not a "fair" fighter.

We say "I love you" in many different ways, every single day.

Neither of us are working at the moment ... he is disabled and I am his caregiver. 

I have three degrees. He never graduated HS. 

We lost our only child in 2008 at the age of 22 to a terminal illness and our kids now are furry. 

So the six things are not necessarily true for every marriage.

Onamission777
by on Feb. 26, 2014 at 9:57 AM

I think every marriage requires God's intervention because if both people have what the Bible calls "agape" love for eachother i.e. selfless love as the foundation of their marriage, it can weather every storm.  If not building on that, I believe, it's prone for divorce because tough times always come.

So, with Jesus at the center - add lots of sex, being friends, and all that other great stuff to make it FUN!

In addition, since we all come into our marriages with "baggage" from our past i.e. hurts, habits, and hang-ups, it's up to each spouse to work on their issues and overcome them.  This adds to the fluidity of the marriage.

 

TigerofMu
by Bronze Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 9:58 AM
1 mom liked this

I think friendship is so important in a marriage.  And communicating with each other!

ceciliam
by Cecilia on Feb. 26, 2014 at 10:00 AM

Our marraige is good....no saving needed. These are good secrets though and I agree with most of them.

SlightlyPerfect
by on Feb. 26, 2014 at 10:05 AM

Oh! So we need to be friends and communicate effectively?

We've been doing it all wrong for so long!


SweetLuci
by Silver Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 7:09 PM

 This is a British study...not necessarily the same results in US.

SweetLuci
by Silver Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 7:13 PM

 Interesting, though I don 't think it all applies to every couple, a lot of it was true in my marrieages, yes marriages; the first lasted 29 years. My husband died of a heart attack. I am now remarried for 15 years. Very different marriages, but I've been very happy in both. I'm a lucky woman.

Bmat
by Barb on Feb. 26, 2014 at 9:12 PM
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Before we got married, my husband and I were best friends.  When we were considering marriage, we talked about what we considered important matters, such as children and childrearing, money, responsibility toward extended family, what we expected from marriage, religion.  When we disagree,  we keep it calm, don't call names or dredge up past problems, and sometimes agree to disagree. When one is proven wrong, then we never say I told you so.

Respect for each other, loyalty. Treating the other as important and appreciated.

It will be 44 years in July.

Bmat
by Barb on Feb. 26, 2014 at 9:13 PM
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This is a blessing. I'm glad you've been happy in both. :)

Quoting SweetLuci:

 Interesting, though I don 't think it all applies to every couple, a lot of it was true in my marrieages, yes marriages; the first lasted 29 years. My husband died of a heart attack. I am now remarried for 15 years. Very different marriages, but I've been very happy in both. I'm a lucky woman.


Serenitymom
by Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 9:18 PM

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