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When did you move in with your SO?

Posted by on Mar. 10, 2014 at 12:08 AM
  • 95 Replies

I'm debating on how soon is too soon to move in with my boyfriend. I don't feel that there is any reason to say how long we've been together right now as I know people will say it's too soon. Anyway, we love each other and he loves my kids. He owns a 5 bedroom house with 3 bathrooms, a large lower level (its split level, walk out basement) it has a big family room down there plus the living room upstairs. He even has a garage and fenced yard with a kid play thing back there already. I currently rent.

I live in a great community with a great school. My daughter will be switching schools (she's in kindergarten right now) and I'll have a total hour commute for work, more if there is traffic, but I have a business here that I love and won't sell. I am ok with all this, mostly deciding on a date to move. He is so excited about us moving in that he wants me to move now, of course I explained that I will at least wait til my 5 year old is done with school (May 23rd is last day) and he understands. How did you decide on the right time?

We wouldn't move in together if we didn't think it would last, we are both already talking about marriage and him adopting my oldest once we would marry. We discussed issues that could come up between and things we'd be dealing with living together (we've both lived with other people, I was married to my oldest's dad, plus my youngest's dad I lived with too, my boyfriend was engaged before to someone who had kids as well so he understands how it is with kids too) We spend every weekend together and at least a day during the week. Over time it has become more time together each week.

We already have a room that we are slowly transitioning into the kids room, we are getting my dog used to his cat (and its gone very well!) and we discussed pretty much anything we could think of that might come up as far as relationship issues, money matters, that we want at least one kid together, etc. I have never felt like I've had such a secure relationship before (even my marriage didn't feel this right, i was young and dumb then and had no idea what it took, that was also a bad situation...). We are already very committed to each other and realize how amazing we are for each other. We are both lucky, we are equals, we are both extremely caring and love everything about each other. We realize we both have some faults but they are not really bad things and they dont' matter.

We are thinking about having the move in date as June 1st. So anyway, how did you decide when to move in together and how long had you been together?

ADD ON: I wanted to thank everyone for their input, I wasn't necessarily asking this to see what other people thought about me moving in with him, I was asking what made the decision and how long it took to decide for all of you. I am very sure I want to live with him, and the fact that we still have a few months til it will happen. I have no doubts in my mind that this reltionship will work. I have never felt this was so right and I will never find a better man, he is everything I've ever wanted in a man, a husband. Btw, if anyone did wonder, we've known each other 3 months, been an official couple over 2 months. So by the time we'd move in together it'd be almost 5 months as a couple and 6 months knowing each other. (he likes to count it from our first date, we talked for a couple weeks before our first date)

If I for what ever reason didn't end up marrying this man then I give up, as I've said though we've both been waiting a long time for someone like we've found in each other, we already talk about marriage. I wouldn't let all the strangers make my decision for me, I have decided, but I like hearing stories. :) Thanks everyone :)

by on Mar. 10, 2014 at 12:08 AM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 12:16 AM
3 moms liked this
When we married. I don't live with someone. That being said, I would say at least 6 to 9 months. Know someone first. I see train wreck posts on here all the time where if they took things slower they wouldn't be in such a mess. My dd moved in with someone after 9 months. She said she regretted it.
Oh, been married almost 30 years.
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MixedCooke
by Bronze Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 12:24 AM

Well we were engaged by then and married less than a year later.  We were together about 8 years though.  Personally, I think its good we lived together before we were married since I was able to learn about his annoying little nuances around the house, which may have made me want to divorce him had I found out after we were married.

ABCMomma0211
by on Mar. 10, 2014 at 12:35 AM
He moved in the same day we got back together.

But we have also known each ither since we were 15, and knew this time we were serious and ready to settle down with each other
chell77
by New Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 12:53 AM

I think  3 month with us. We knew we will be together and it was around my oldest dd16 when she was 5 ask him to be her daddy seem how her dad is always in prison or out and abuse my dd16 and he said yes so I know he was right guy for me. I wont move in anyone in case something happen that i had my own place and they can find there own place becuase I have 2 girls. But we been together for 10 yr and here is no common law and we are not planning getting marry. Our marriage we went bad.

RedHeadTemper
by Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 1:14 AM
I've been asking myself something similar... my bf and I havebeen together for 9 months and he was very excited and so was I but then I got nervous because of the crap I went through with my ex. He called me on my cold feet and we talked and I feel better. Then poor guy list his job so I'm still looking for a place but he's shown no interest in moving in with one another BBBUUUTTTT when I run set up ideas past him he seems interested... so I think the excitement died a little since losing his job and feeling like he would live off me. I honestly don't think he will until he has a job again which is good but bums me out a little. Sorry to kind of post steal but I was wondering the same thing girlie....
Jenn8604
by Gold Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 1:20 AM
So do I. I say don't rush things.

Quoting atlmom2: When we married. I don't live with someone. That being said, I would say at least 6 to 9 months. Know someone first. I see train wreck posts on here all the time where if they took things slower they wouldn't be in such a mess. My dd moved in with someone after 9 months. She said she regretted it.
Oh, been married almost 30 years.
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mom2gmp2
by Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 1:22 AM
Two weeks after we met. We were married a week later. Neither of us had children, though. We've been married 15 years and have a 13yo and a 3yo.

If I had children to think about, it would not have happened so quickly. There are too many sickos out there looking to gain access to children through their mothers and the women are too desperate/lonely to see that. I'm not saying this is the case with your man. Though please be careful with your children, no man is more important than they are.
ladybugchar
by Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 1:42 AM
We were together about 6 months. We were married a month later. No children were involved though.
Momofmenagerie
by Bronze Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 1:58 AM
It was seven months before I made it. " official" of him moving in with me. Meaning, he spent most nights in my home ( mainly because head stay till like midnight and lived two hours away and I really just worried about him driving home till two and turning around for a 3 he drive to work. but made closet space and got him a dresser and called him and told him to pack up his stuff that weekend.and come here. ( he was with his parents at the time.)

Married six years and. " our" child plus " my child are both his. He is a step only in the eyes of the law, here he is dad, out they are " my children" when he speaks if one or both .
Mom2Just1
by Mom2boys on Mar. 10, 2014 at 9:07 AM

When we got married. I don't live with a guy before marriage.  We also didn't have children though.

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