Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

how would you handle this situation

Posted by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 10:33 PM
  • 31 Replies
posted this in another group also trying to get answers

When I found out I was pregnant with my daughter my SO told me he wanted to stop working after the baby was born, he told me when she was a year old I could start back working but he wanted to take care of her for the first year and I agreed.

My daughter will be one in may, I told him Monday that we need to start looking for daycare because I will be getting ready to go back to work soon as she turns one. He thinks that I am trying to rush it, I just feel that the year is almost up and I want to be comfortable going back to work knowing she is in a safe environment and is happy.

SO thinks I should just stay home with her until she is old enough to go to kindergarten or at least preschool. I told him that wasn't what we discussed before and she will be fine going to daycare my boys started at 10 months and are just fine.

It seems likes this is going to be a never ending argument. Am I in the wrong fir wanting for wanting to go back to work? If you were in my situation how would you handle it?
by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 10:33 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
miaamor77
by Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 10:42 PM
Anyone?
1frog
by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 10:54 PM

 I think he's just a new daddy that is unsure of trusting baby with someone you don't really know. Have the discussion again, gently, remind him he gave his word, and you are really looking forward to working again, and will be a better person for it. I would offer to let him come with you to interview day cares.--Maybe going to a couple on your own at first, or at least calling them. This should put him at ease if that's the problem. Or, if not, hopefully it will open a dialogue about what it really is bothering him.

tn_a_handsome_boy.jpg

miaamor77
by Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 11:10 PM
I told him he could come along and look at daycares, I even told him he could pick the daycare if that would make him feel better but he just shoots down everything I say.

I tell him the earlier we start looking the better so we can find the right place and have time to get a feel for it and do drop ins to make sure she is being well taken care of. He just keeps going back to me staying at home.

Quoting 1frog:

 I think he's just a new daddy that is unsure of trusting baby with someone you don't really know. Have the discussion again, gently, remind him he gave his word, and you are really looking forward to working again, and will be a better person for it. I would offer to let him come with you to interview day cares.--Maybe going to a couple on your own at first, or at least calling them. This should put him at ease if that's the problem. Or, if not, hopefully it will open a dialogue about what it really is bothering him.

booboobear12
by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 11:38 PM
I'd stay home daycare is expensive.
steffielou_who
by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 11:43 PM
1 mom liked this
I'd stay home.. My friend, a very good friend was just found guilty on child porn charges and he worked in daycare for years.. I'll probably never trust another daycare!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
1frog
by on Mar. 13, 2014 at 8:38 AM

While I can understand your concern, I feel your blame is misplaced. Saying not to trust all daycares is like saying not to trust a teacher, or relative. Sometimes businesses make mistakes in who they hire, even with background checks, etc. people fall through the cracks. While these things do happen unfortunately it is your friend at fault not the daycare.

Quoting steffielou_who: I'd stay home.. My friend, a very good friend was just found guilty on child porn charges and he worked in daycare for years.. I'll probably never trust another daycare!

 

tn_a_handsome_boy.jpg

1frog
by on Mar. 13, 2014 at 8:47 AM

 I'd let it go for now, and give him time to get used to the idea. Maybe also mention that because you are not married (I assume) you feel insecure not having your own income. But only if you're willing for him to say, let's get married then. Or, maybe you are, you can still try that. Also, if family sides with you, maybe they can can casually bring it up at gatherings. They would have to be very off hand with it though. I feel this will work best if it comes from relatives on his side. I feel your friends will only make it worse.

Quoting miaamor77: I told him he could come along and look at daycares, I even told him he could pick the daycare if that would make him feel better but he just shoots down everything I say. I tell him the earlier we start looking the better so we can find the right place and have time to get a feel for it and do drop ins to make sure she is being well taken care of. He just keeps going back to me staying at home.
Quoting 1frog:

 I think he's just a new daddy that is unsure of trusting baby with someone you don't really know. Have the discussion again, gently, remind him he gave his word, and you are really looking forward to working again, and will be a better person for it. I would offer to let him come with you to interview day cares.--Maybe going to a couple on your own at first, or at least calling them. This should put him at ease if that's the problem. Or, if not, hopefully it will open a dialogue about what it really is bothering him.

 

tn_a_handsome_boy.jpg

emmy526
by Silver Member on Mar. 13, 2014 at 8:54 AM

i'd go back to work, and let him bitch all he wants...he'll stop bitching when he sees the paycheck

Mom2Just1
by Mom2boys on Mar. 13, 2014 at 9:04 AM

I would return to work and tell him stop complaining.  Not being married there is no way I would have stayed home without some income.

Daisypath Anniversary tickersLilypie Second Birthday tickers

Lilypie Kids Birthday tickersLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

Lilypie Maternity tickers


momofsixangels
by on Mar. 13, 2014 at 9:30 AM
1 mom liked this

If you can afford it I would stay home until preschool

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN