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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Is it worth it?

Posted by on Mar. 18, 2014 at 11:52 PM
  • 9 Replies
Hi girls!
I'm a mom to a beautiful 4 yr old little girl and an amazing husband. I worked throughout my entire pregnancy(2009) and 5 months after her birth, took a break for a little bit because of lack of caregiver(no family to help) and company was sold thus all employees were out of a job.In 2011 I found a great job and loved it because of how flexible it was and the field I was getting my degree in, at the end of the year the owner decided to close the company down, no job again. The entire year of 2012 I sold items on Craigslist to help my husband, but nothing permanent. In 2014 I recently applied to go back to college and finish my bachelor's degree since I had so little to complete. I found a job as a bookkeeper paying only $9 an hour, across the street from where I live and so far kinda flexible on schedule. I was really looking for a part time position so that I could juggle school, work and my family. Since I have been searching for a while I was desperate and accepted the position, but now I'm wondering how to deal with working 40+ hours a week, going to school full time and not leaving my little family behind. Is this all worth it? The sacrifice? Just needing some help in making decisions! ! I can't quit because I just started ...going crazy right now, can't sleep, exhausted, lonely(I never see my family)
by on Mar. 18, 2014 at 11:52 PM
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Replies (1-9):
marmelsan
by Member on Mar. 19, 2014 at 12:09 AM
In my opinion, you CAN quit right away. It's not the best thing you've probably ever done, but I don't see another way out. I'm a nurse, and its so frustrating to put so much into training someone for six months just to have them leave. Its just my opinion, but I think you could tell them its not working out and give them two weeks to find another person, if they need you too. You don't have to put this job on your resume. The gap in time in indistinguishable, unless you're applying for a job that does some kind of extensive background check. Honestly, does it seem to you that you're really going to stay? If you think you won't have a breakdown after a year of this, just to look good, then go ahead. But everybody makes mistakes. Just apologize, forgive yourself, and move on.
a_and_j_momma
by Gold Member on Mar. 19, 2014 at 12:32 AM
I would ask if you can reduce your hours to ONLY 40 hours or 32. If you need the income, I would stick with it. A bachelors isn't a long, drawn out degree. I worked full-time and had kids while in school full-time and it WAS worth it to me. It wasn't a bad decision for my family and helped secure our future. My kids aren't psychologically damaged from me going to school or being gone longer some days. I also graduated with honors
MixedCooke
by Bronze Member on Mar. 19, 2014 at 12:52 AM

There are a lot of working Mothers out there in the world who can figure it out, so its more of a personal decision for you to make.

loveforhope518
by on Mar. 19, 2014 at 9:54 AM

Sorry you are stressed.  I think you have to do what will give you balance for you in your life.  Your plate is full and somethings gotta give.  I too would ask for a reduction in hours or sign up for a temp agency and ask for part time permanent positions..just a thought.  I wish you luck and some sleep too :) ((hugs))

annie2244
by Bronze Member on Mar. 19, 2014 at 11:53 AM

It is so great that you are committed to finishing your degree. That is your best ticket to better pay and job stability.

You can quit right away - you don't 'owe' any employer any length of time, and just don't put this job on your resume, so the next employer won't see that you quit on this one quickly. 

There's no way that going to school fulltime and working fulltime and having a family isn't going to negatively impact all three, most of all your family and your physical and mental health! So a fix is in order. In a quiet moment, go to a cafe and write down what your best case scenario would be for work/school/home balance. What is the optimal combination of work and school that will keep you sane, keep the bills paid and keep an acceptable pace towards degree completion? What do you need your husband to do to help more that he isn't and would be fair to ask (both partners should be working, whether at work, school or home, equal amounts), what can you ask a relative to help with for child care?

$9 an hour isn't anything to stay for. Are you getting benefits? Tuition reimbursement? If no, then I can' see a compelling argument for keeping it, unless you absolutely need the money coming in non-stop. 

I'd ask for reduced hours. The worst that will happen is they say no. 

Unless you don't need the money, I'd stick it out with both job and school untill the current term ends and then only sign up for 2 classes if the work thing hasn't been reduced. (and get mom, sis and DH to help out more as you can find things they could do that would help).

Concurrently, I'd look a bit for a better gig - better as in - part-time, with benefits, at a better hourly rate, in your field or closer to it, and with tuition reimbursement (or as many of those as you can find). But I'd look efficiently, since you are busy. My advice for the hunt is

a) take 20 minutes and send out  mass email to all your and your husband's friends and family and anyone you know to some degree and tell them you are looking and specifically what you are looking for, and ask them to let you know of any positions that might be open now or in the future that come anywhere near what you described. Repeat that every 2 months or so until mission accomplished,  with an update and a thankyou for any leads they've given you,

b) join linked-in and spend 2 hours linking to that same list of people. You are now linked to all of their links, which has just exponentially increased your ability to find someone who knows someone who can get your resume in front of a hiring manager.

c) Take an hour and put your resume on monster (do not note on your resume that you are looking for part-time) and go to job online sites and put in your location and the kinds o jobs you are seeking, and include that you are interested in part and full time, so you'll be sent both. Weekly you'll get an email of possible jobs that fit your criteria that are in your area.

d) Take 30 minutes and brainstorm with your husband and best friends, to make a list of all employers in your area that you'd like to work for, that have jobs you'd like, and check their website jobs listing every Sunday night, that should take all of 20 minutes.

e) When you see a job you want to apply for, first call HR and ask for the salary range, many companies will give this to you over the phone - so you can weed out without wasting your time applying for jobs that aren't a good enough deal. Also peruse their website a get info on tuition reimbursement and benefits. Apply to ones that look interesting, regardless of whether they say full time, and search your linked-in account for the name of that company - it will show you who you are remotely or closely linked to who work there or used to work there - email your contact asking them to email their contact your resume and ask that it be walked over to the hiring manager, and ask for the hiring manager's name, email and phone. (in addition to your applying for the job online).  Follow-up with a phone call to the hiring manager a week later.

f) Once you get an interview, you can ask about work environment, but don't ask if you can be part time, it's too soon. But it will give you a sense of how possible flexibility might be.  Once you are offered the position, you can say you're concerned about whether fulltime will be too much for your schedule, and ask if they'd be willing to consider  part-time, like 30 hours a week, and see what they say. Many employers at that point are willing to give a bit, as they want you. You could offer, if they push back, to be fulltime whenever school is not in session. Some employers might say you need to be fulltime for a couple months and then you can go to parttime (but don't accept a vague promise, get it in writing in your offer letter that unless your initial months did not go smoothly, you will be able to move to x hrs/wk starting on x date. 

x

countrygirlkat
by Kathleen on Mar. 19, 2014 at 12:38 PM

I think the answer is different for every family and for every individual.  I am a SAHM and I love being one even though I do have my college degree.  DH makes enough for this to be possible and even though we have to budget carefully and sacrafice a few wants sometimes, it is worth it to us.  If we couldn't do it financially though I would definitely be willing to work to help the family.  Personally I would look for the most flexible job that would allow the most time at home and still meet our financial needs but that is just me.  I would sit down with your DH and see what money you really need to make to make ends meet.  Once you figure that out, you can decide if this job or another job would best fit to make that happen.  Good luck.

judykay1944
by Member on Mar. 19, 2014 at 6:53 PM

I would shorten my hours and then take my courses on line that way I would have more time with my family. If you need the money go to a temp agency because more then likely you willl make more money thru them. It is not easy I know , I had to finish in the 60's when my husband was in Viet Nam and we had one little girl. I had to work even with the allotment . Thank God I had a scholar ship or I would have never made ends meet,  NOw with the online classes I am going for my masters and trust me it is a breeze. Of course I don't have little kids either.  Don;t make it any harder then it is. Do what makes you feel comfortable and for the time with your family they have to come first.

Trudestevens
by on Mar. 19, 2014 at 6:57 PM
If you think your kid is worth a better future go for it. Jobs are scare now. I have been out of irk and have cancer. School is a temp not a job. Id make sure you Monday it Tuesday off to do things you need to do. Eat right and pray a lot.
SpiritedMom2
by on Mar. 20, 2014 at 1:23 AM

I am kind of in the same boat as you. I have a part time job which I love but unfortunately it wont last beyond a month. Im currently giving interviews for full-time jobs and getting totally stressed already thinking about what I'm gonna do and how Im going to handle everything. You situation sounds much worse than mine as Im not even going to school! I cant imagine how you can handle a full time job, school and being a mom. I would quit the job (it looks like its not paying much anyway) and look for a part time opportunity until you finish school! Best of luck!

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