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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Cutting

Posted by on Mar. 22, 2014 at 3:13 AM
  • 18 Replies
The other night my BF & I took my 13yo DD to dinner. During dinner she mentioned that my 14yo DD's best friend told DD#2 that DD#1 had been cutting again.

I am going to talk to DD#1 about it but want advice on how to go about it. Should I put her in therapy? Do I tell her dad? (BTW he sees the kids maybe once a month) Do I talk to a girl in the youth group at church who I know use to cut & DD#1 is close to? Should I tell the youth leader (who happens to be this girl's mom)?

by on Mar. 22, 2014 at 3:13 AM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Mar. 22, 2014 at 9:25 AM
Therapy.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
natural_s
by Bronze Member on Mar. 22, 2014 at 10:07 AM

She definitely needs some type of therapy to get to the bottom of why she is doing that and during that time she will need all the support from her family that she can have, which would involve her dad if he is a positive person in her life.

Talking to her again will be good but I would still move forward with getting therapy for her.

I wish you all the best of luck and hope she gets better.

waytomanykids10
by Bronze Member on Mar. 22, 2014 at 11:01 AM
Cutting again? Why is she not in therapy already?
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anotherandree
by Inga on Mar. 22, 2014 at 11:10 AM
1 mom liked this
Approach her nicely but matter-of-factly. "I have been told that you are self-harming again. May I see your (arms, legs, or where ever she cuts)?" Then tell her that she is going to start seeing a therapist because you feel it would be beneficial for her to talk to someone other than you.

Do NOT tell her youth pastor, even if she did struggle with the same thing. If you had a "shameful habit" would YOU want others to know about it? As for telling her father, I would encourage her to tell him. Maybe bring it by her telling him about going to therapy and why.
loramartin418
by on Mar. 22, 2014 at 11:25 AM
1 mom liked this

therapy helps. im a recovering cutter. i wouldnt go to the youth leader because it is something that should be kept private and honestly things like that spread through a church faster than a wildfire. 
talk openly to your daughter. ask probing questions let her know that anything that upsets her she can tell you even if it may upset you. if she is relasped into cutting again that means she probably has a burden that she cant express into words. at least that is how it is for me. give her an outlet. above all have patience. i hate to say this but walk on egg shells for a while.

if you need anything or more insight feel free to pm me. 

CampClan
by Bronze Member on Mar. 22, 2014 at 1:21 PM
This is the first I have heard of it. The "again" came from her best friend to her sister.

Quoting waytomanykids10: Cutting again? Why is she not in therapy already?
ajelove
by Member on Mar. 22, 2014 at 4:20 PM

This.

Quoting anotherandree: Approach her nicely but matter-of-factly. "I have been told that you are self-harming again. May I see your (arms, legs, or where ever she cuts)?" Then tell her that she is going to start seeing a therapist because you feel it would be beneficial for her to talk to someone other than you. Do NOT tell her youth pastor, even if she did struggle with the same thing. If you had a "shameful habit" would YOU want others to know about it? As for telling her father, I would encourage her to tell him. Maybe bring it by her telling him about going to therapy and why.


a_and_j_momma
by Gold Member on Mar. 23, 2014 at 12:27 AM
You should ask to see her arms and legs. Put her in therapy and her dad should know
MendoMama52
by Member on Mar. 23, 2014 at 9:53 AM
erapy can be reall

Quoting loramartin418:

therapy helps. im a recovering cutter. i wouldnt go to the youth leader because it is something that should be kept private and honestly things like that spread through a church faster than a wildfire. talk openly to your daughter. ask probing questions let her know that anything that upsets her she can tell you even if it may upset you. if she is relasped into cutting again that means she probably has a burden that she cant express into words. at least that is how it is for me. give her an outlet. above all have patience. i hate to say this but walk on egg shells for a while.

if you need anything or more insight feel free to pm me. 

MendoMama52
by Member on Mar. 23, 2014 at 9:58 AM
I agree! Therapy can be really helpful. I'd also recommend that you do a little research and look into it. It's a coping mechanism, not a suicide attempt, doesn't mean your crazy, is often not as big of a deal as people make it out to be (the big deal is the underlying issues more than the actual cutting), it's common for kids to experiment with and she may be looking for attention. Don't panic.

Quoting loramartin418:

therapy helps. im a recovering cutter. i wouldnt go to the youth leader because it is something that should be kept private and honestly things like that spread through a church faster than a wildfire. talk openly to your daughter. ask probing questions let her know that anything that upsets her she can tell you even if it may upset you. if she is relasped into cutting again that means she probably has a burden that she cant express into words. at least that is how it is for me. give her an outlet. above all have patience. i hate to say this but walk on egg shells for a while.

if you need anything or more insight feel free to pm me. 

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