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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Should I feel like a failure???

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My daughter (who will be 4 in May) has been going to the dentist since she was 18 months old and has always had perfect exams. I brush her teeth twice a day, floss them weekly and she does not drink soda at all and very rarely has candy or junk food. Yet, this dentist trip was not so pleasant. I received the news that she has 5 cavities and granted they are not that big and the dentist said that she would not have been able to see them without the x-ray it still hit me like a ton a bricks. I almost cried in the exam room. I feel like such a failure to my daughter, should I be feeling this way? Has this happened to anyone else? 

by on Mar. 24, 2014 at 7:32 PM
Replies (21-28):
ElleLuvsOrchids
by Member on Mar. 26, 2014 at 2:20 PM

 My sister and I were born with teeth that were prone to get cavities due to the crevices.  Our teeth were sealed when we were very little and I've never had cavities again.  It wasn't our mom's or your fault.

furbabymum
by Bronze Member on Mar. 26, 2014 at 5:09 PM

 My dads side of the family has awful teeth. No matter what they do they have bad teeth. So I probably wouldn't feel anything.

One question, milk at night? Chocolate milk in particular? I had a dentist friend tell me that's a recipe for disaster.

Fauxy
by on Mar. 26, 2014 at 6:06 PM

I have had smilar things happen. You are not a failure. Genetics could be the culprit. Also, carbs are bad for teeth.

LadyGraves1986
by New Member on Mar. 26, 2014 at 6:25 PM
1 mom liked this

No, Darlin'. You shouldn't feel like a failure to your daughter. But I certainly understand and validate your feelings. This is your child and her health. But from mother to mother (my son 5yrs with Autism Spectrum Disorder); you shouldn't feel like a failure because you haven't failed her. You've been very proactive (that I can see due to your post) about your child's oral health and overall health simply by the early dentist visits and the tedious task of brushing and flossing her teeth. But word to the wise, she is only 4 years old so these are her baby teeth and will fall out in a few years (2-3yrs). Don't beat yourself up because we are our own worse enemy. At least this shows what a loving and caring mother you are.

veggiemom474
by Bronze Member on Mar. 27, 2014 at 3:03 PM

oh no, don't be upset. My DD's had like 10 cavities. she is 10.

mamatiff2010
by New Member on Mar. 27, 2014 at 3:57 PM

Hi furbabymum!

No, Kylie does not have any snacks or drinks at night except for water after we brush her teeth. That's why this whole thing is so appalling to me. 

Quoting furbabymum:

 My dads side of the family has awful teeth. No matter what they do they have bad teeth. So I probably wouldn't feel anything.

One question, milk at night? Chocolate milk in particular? I had a dentist friend tell me that's a recipe for disaster.


mamatiff2010
by New Member on Mar. 27, 2014 at 4:01 PM
1 mom liked this

I want to thank you all so much for all of your advice, positive comments, and encouragement. As a result, I'm taking Kylie to another dentist for a second opinion who seems like she can provide better options for us! Thanks again! Once we see this dentist I will post the results. Cross your fingers for me! 

mamatiff2010
by New Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 3:30 PM

Hello Everyone!! I just wanted to comment and say that Kylie did go for a second opinion and she only has one very small cavitiy instead of five and the new dentisit said that she should only have to work in Kylie's mouth for about 10 minutes. Needless to say I'm very relieved. Thank you so much everyone again!!

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