I sit here thinking what has my life come as. I have no friends (just people I see at kids school), I've got a husband that seems to not be interested in my needs or feelings any more. It's always what he wants to do he does. Demands me to do things. I do things for him and get no appreciation. He is only home maybe hour before he goes to bed. His attitude has over come his life. Never do I see him smile anymore. I think to myself is this what I want. "NO" However I feel trapped. I have no job or degree. My parents wouldn't welcome me and two kids in their home. My sister has her own problems right now. There is no way I can make it on my own with two kids. However I just feel like packing us up and go on a never ending road trip. They are the only good things going in my life right now.
Then I think quit complaining. I have it made compared to some. I'm a SAHM. Got a nice luxury vehicle to drive. Got a roof over my head. Only thing missing is a loving husband and father. Is this something I can live to deal with? I just don't know right now. I just don't know where my life his headed. I want out but then I don't want to tear my kids lives apart. I don't think I could even bare letting my kids stay over night with their dad only. His attitude scares me to let that happen. Nor would he even have time for them if he doesn't now.
Many have told me to just tell him how i feel. Well I have and it always comes back to my fault because I don't have sex with him. I've got to have those feelings back. I love him I do. But the man I loved no longer exists.
on Mar. 26, 2014 at 3:35 PM