• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What would you do?

Posted by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 12:19 AM
  • 3 Replies

My due date is in exactly 3 weeks from today, April 23rd.  I moved in with my boyfriend 3 months ago at his cousin's house and we seem to constantly bump heads and I frequently became annoyed with him and our whole living situation. I expressed to him many times that it was my mission to NOT have to bring our daughter home to his cousin's house where we were living (it's constant smoking, and a not so good crowd in and out of this home) so it was both of our mission to find a place before she got here. That has been our mission for the past few months, regardless of us constantly bumping heads and having small arguments over just about anything. I recently started living with a cousin after helping her out for a few weeks getting her son to and from school (her husband started a new job and the training shift got in the way of him being able to drop him off at school in the morining) and soon after, she offered me a place to live until I was able to get on my feet. She extended this offer out to me because she knows how adamant I am about not having to go back to my bf cousin's house to live after I have my daughter, she also knows of how annoyed I sometimes get with my bf. We have saved up enough money and we're prepared to move-in, there's just one thing, i'm skeptical as if I should wait and continue saving because it seems that she has gotten a little attached to me and the idea of me living here. I'm trying to make a decision soon because she's really trying to push how importatnt it's going to be that I have my own vehicle, although I would like to use that money that I've saved towards our place. She thinks I should wait, and focus on getting a place later after saving up a little more, considering I'll be out of work for 6 weeks (although my bf and I have already figured out our expenses and planning during this time). I'm not sure how to approach her without hurting her feelings or if I should even approach her at all, I mean does that make sense to do? Giving it more thought about moving in with my bf? She's married and have a son of her own so I don't particularly feel as comfortable living here for much longer, especially considering a newborn will be here as well in just 3 weeks. It has been my bf and I mission for the past few months to get our own place and it's honestly just what's gonna feel more comfortable to me at this point. For instance, when she comes home from the hospital, he won't be able to spend the nights with us or be here during the day (because we're in two different counties, and he doesn't have a car) to see her as much and spend time as he'd like. I feel like I'm flaking out on him and going back on my word considering we've talked about this for so long and now I'm starting to second guess what I should do. I just can't make up my mind! What would you do? What would make more sense for me to do in this situation? I appreciate my cousin extending this offer to me, it was very sweet of her and some of the things she's saying may be right, but at the same time I also desire the comfort of being in my own place, even if that means not having the convienence of a vehicle at this very moment! 

by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 12:19 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-3):
a_and_j_momma
by Platinum Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 12:36 AM
Are you two financially stable? Why has it been so hard to find a place?
ceciliam
by Cecilia on Apr. 3, 2014 at 11:54 AM

I think it's a nice gesture, but I feel if you have saved up and are ready to get your own place, you should do that. Just don't max your budget.

nuts4scouts
by Bronze Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 12:16 PM

Since you plan to (eventually) move in together, and be a family, I would talk it over with your bf.

This is a decision you should be making together.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)