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I dont know anyone whos ever been in my situation.

Posted by on Apr. 6, 2014 at 10:17 AM
  • 12 Replies
So last year i had a 38 week and 5 day stillbirth. It was tragic and i wouldnt wish it on no body.. Im 8 weeks pregnant now and i just feel so sad at times. Like when i was pregnant the first time at 8 weeks i was already buying baby blankets and picking out stuff i wanted. Now that im pregnant again i feel so bad cause i feel like i dont want to love this baby until its alive in my arms and i hear him or her crying. And i dont think its fair for me to feel that way. I havent even gone to the doctors yet cause in afraid. Some people wont understand. Sorry i dont even know if i make sense or not :/
by on Apr. 6, 2014 at 10:17 AM
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Replies (1-10):
sjenkins8208
by Member on Apr. 6, 2014 at 10:18 AM
You make sense. And I'm sorry for your loss. So so sorry. We still haven't really bought stuff this time around, I'm 25 weeks, because I refuse to ever have to return unused baby items again :( just take it day by day :)
beadingmom17
by Silver Member on Apr. 6, 2014 at 10:22 AM
2 moms liked this
Honey, you're still grieving. Everyone heals from a loss in their own time and way. You make total sense. I would urge you to go to the doctor, though, just so that you get the best care as early as possible for you and baby. You may also want to look into speaking with a grief counselor. It won't change the situation, but it may help you enjoy this pregnancy a little more. I'm so sorry for your loss and I wish you a happy, healthy pregnancy.
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nicbruuu
by Member on Apr. 6, 2014 at 10:25 AM
Oh wow. Bless you. I miscarried my first baby at 10 weeks and it about destroyed me, I can't even imagine losing one at 38 weeks. But grieve to heal, don't let someone say "you should be over it already". Take extra good care of your body and self and once you have your new little bundle of joy you can tell them all about they're beautiful big sibling that's watching over them. I'm so terribly sorry for your loss.
lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on Apr. 6, 2014 at 11:01 AM

Hugs and prayers. I think given the circumstances you have been through what you are feeling is normal.

Mom2Just1
by Mom2boys on Apr. 6, 2014 at 11:13 AM

I think what you are feeling is perfectly normal.  You're in my thoughts and prayers for a healthy pregnancy!

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Pukalani79
by Bronze Member on Apr. 6, 2014 at 11:23 AM

 I'm so sorry for your loss.  I have a friend who lost her baby boy at 38 weeks.  It was devastating.  Don't force yourself to do anything you don't want to and don't let other people dictate how you be feeling or what you should be doing. I'm praying for a healing pregnancy for you!

AM-BRAT
by Amber on Apr. 6, 2014 at 11:25 AM

That is scary, and I'm sure most of us would feel the same way.

What kind of resources do you have irl? I would ask the hospital where you delivered- the ob dept specifically, what kind of groups are around for others like you. Somewhere you can talk, and listen, and not feel alone.  ((hugs))

MixedCooke
by Bronze Member on Apr. 7, 2014 at 2:43 AM

I miscarried at 18.5 weeks and I will be 20 weeks pregnant this week and I also dont feel as connected with this baby as I did with the previous pregnancies and still feel all doom and gloom is going to happen and cannot breathe easier until I am holding the baby in my arms. 

Jlee4249
by Member on Apr. 7, 2014 at 3:27 AM

I was excited with my first pregnancy, imagining what everything was going to be like... Then I lost it.  I wasn't as far along as you.  With my second pregnancy, it was almost like I was hesitant to get my hopes up again.  Then when I finally had her my distance took a bit of time to overcome, still.. Even after the birth I felt like I was babysitting... Siting for the "real" mom to come get her.  It was all unreal, but that may have been assisted with the fact that I was alone in another country while my husband was deployed and all my family was in the states... But either way, hurting like that, after so much hope and expectancy... It's understandable that you're likely to want to protect yourself from that pain again.  Good luck to you and best wishes to you and your growing family.

ceciliam
by Cecilia on Apr. 7, 2014 at 10:49 AM

I had a former employee go through that. I'm so sorry for your loss and I think what you are feeling is completely normal.

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