Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Liar Liar Pants on Fire!

Posted by on Apr. 10, 2014 at 11:17 AM
  • 46 Replies

 

So I pick up my dd 7 from school everyday. Yesterday I pick her up as usual, but they had fundraiser stuff come in so I had to go to the cafeteria to pick up her stuff that had been sold. I'm standing there waiting and her teacher walks up and asks me to please have her bring her report card back in tomorrow. I look at my dd and say "oh I didn't know we had report cards this week!" Teacher then tells me that they were give out LAST week!

I wait till we get to the car and ask dd what's going on. Why she hasn't given me her report card. Now mind you dd is an A B student and has excellent behavior in school. She said that she had gotten a N (need improvement) on her handwriting (she is a lefty and she rushes) and that she was scared.... I looked at her and asked her why she was scared... (we do not spank for grades, and she rarely gets spanked) She tells me "Because your going to make me write sentences!" SENTENCES! Are you kidding me kid!

I could understand being afraid cause she thought she was going to get her booty beat, but to write sentences! So I explain to her how she would have been in less trouble if she had just given me her report card and dealt with the consequices rather than hiding it from me and lying aobut it!

So my punishment was after homework was done to write "I will not lie.", until it was time for soccer practice and then she will resume writing her letters (we have had her write letters to her family members as a way to work on her handwriting rather than repetitive sentences) and then we would decide what other punishment after I looked at her report card.

So she cried, she hates to disappoint and upset me and it's really hard to fuss at her. But it has to be done. So we get home and I finally get to see this dreaded N she got and guess what! It was all for nothing. She miss read the stupid report card and she has actually improved to and S! All of her grades remained the same A's and B's so she actually would have been rewarded for her great report card. But instead which we sat her down and explained to her , we now have to keep up the punishment for lying! So on top of lying about this she also has a few chores she does like making her bed, feeding the cats, cleaning their litter box and keeping her room clean. She does most of this in the am before school. Well she has been telling us she makes her bed and she hasn't, I know it's small stuff, but how fast that small stuff turns into big stuff and into things I can no longer fix.

I do spank for lying! It's not acceptable behavior and I made sure she knew that it was not! We talk a lot and try to enforce good morals, Yes mam, No mam, and Yes sir and no sir. I want more than anything for my child be a good person. I want her to understand you have to work to get the things you want and need. I pray I'm on the right path!

What do you do to ensure your children are productive member of society? What to you do to make sure they understand that being punished is out of love and to make them better people? I never understood until i became a mom what it meant, a necessary evil, it hurts me more than it hurts you, because it breaks my heart to be the mean mom. But i know it will benefit her in the long run! I love my babies.

 

by on Apr. 10, 2014 at 11:17 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
die4u
by Member on Apr. 11, 2014 at 9:00 AM

 No one? At all?

emmy526
by Silver Member on Apr. 11, 2014 at 9:11 AM
3 moms liked this

Sorry, i just don't see spanking and 'being on the right path' as conducive to each other...

Rmlupin
by on Apr. 11, 2014 at 9:13 AM
2 moms liked this

Spanking = adult temper tantrums. 

emmy526
by Silver Member on Apr. 11, 2014 at 9:29 AM

I also make sure i am an approachable parent to my kids, and they don't feel scared to talk to me, or to let me know something is wrong, or afraid to tell the truth.  If your kid is afraid to tell you what's going on in their lives, something is definitely wrong.  At 7yrs old, she shouldn't have to feel as tho she has to lie to you, i think that's terrible she feels like that. She is obviously afraid of you. And that isn't going to make for a productive person, that's going to make a nervous child who will eventually be unable to concentrate on what's she's doing, for fear of upsetting you or making you mad.  How come you don't have some kind of chart up so she can see her progress and own her work?  

die4u
by Member on Apr. 11, 2014 at 9:46 AM

That's the thing, me and her talk daily. I pick her up from school and we talk in the car for a good 30 minutes about her day. We are a close family, we do movie nights at least once a week, she plays well with others and by her self. She is a people pleaser though, i was that way when i was a kid and i'm still that way. I dont know how to be anymore open with her and let her know she can talk to me without fear. She is not a trouble maker, so she is not punished alot, and as i said punishment is usually a form or writing or taking away of privilages. 

Quoting emmy526:

I also make sure i am an approachable parent to my kids, and they don't feel scared to talk to me, or to let me know something is wrong, or afraid to tell the truth.  If your kid is afraid to tell you what's going on in their lives, something is definitely wrong.  At 7yrs old, she shouldn't have to feel as tho she has to lie to you, i think that's terrible she feels like that. She is obviously afraid of you. And that isn't going to make for a productive person, that's going to make a nervous child who will eventually be unable to concentrate on what's she's doing, for fear of upsetting you or making you mad.  How come you don't have some kind of chart up so she can see her progress and own her work?  

 

a_and_j_momma
by Gold Member on Apr. 11, 2014 at 9:52 AM
I do agree she was wrong for hiding it from you. I don't think she should be punished for "needs improvement." If she wasn't punished for it, she wouldn't be scared to show you
die4u
by Member on Apr. 11, 2014 at 9:58 AM

 She wasnt punished for "needs improvement" her handwriting is really bad, so after home work i had her writing a letter to any family memeber she wanted about whatever she wanted as a way to practice her handwriting and getting her to slow down instead of rush! I punished her for lying not for her grades. She is an excelent student and i'm proud of her for that, i tell that to her all the time. She get's student of the week, AB honor roll, terrific kid! Writing leters is not a punishment, i mean what else do i do to get her handwriting in check. It's so bad you cant read her writing and if the teacher cant read her writing then she gets bad scores. My parents were not involved with my schooling and i did bad, i want her to do well, she is smart and should have someone at home to look out for her.

Quoting a_and_j_momma: I do agree she was wrong for hiding it from you. I don't think she should be punished for "needs improvement." If she wasn't punished for it, she wouldn't be scared to show you

 

a_and_j_momma
by Gold Member on Apr. 11, 2014 at 10:01 AM
Do you have practice books for her?

Quoting die4u:

 She wasnt punished for "needs improvement" her handwriting is really bad, so after home work i had her writing a letter to any family memeber she wanted about whatever she wanted as a way to practice her handwriting and getting her to slow down instead of rush! I punished her for lying not for her grades. She is an excelent student and i'm proud of her for that, i tell that to her all the time. She get's student of the week, AB honor roll, terrific kid! Writing leters is not a punishment, i mean what else do i do to get her handwriting in check. It's so bad you cant read her writing and if the teacher cant read her writing then she gets bad scores. My parents were not involved with my schooling and i did bad, i want her to do well, she is smart and should have someone at home to look out for her.


Quoting a_and_j_momma: I do agree she was wrong for hiding it from you. I don't think she should be punished for "needs improvement." If she wasn't punished for it, she wouldn't be scared to show you

 

emmy526
by Silver Member on Apr. 11, 2014 at 10:09 AM

I had horrid handwriting...still do...i had small muscle problems in my hands when i was little that made it hard for me to write...now i have arthritis, and can barely print a damn thing...

die4u
by Member on Apr. 11, 2014 at 10:13 AM

 

practice books don't work with her. She rushes through it so she can play so then she has to do it over because her handwriting is bad. With the letters she has to think about what she is going to write so she has to slow down a little. (same kid who would hold peeing so she could play longer and then have accidents because she couldn't get to the bathroom in time). She told me the reason she rushes at school is because if she doesn't finish her work then she has to do it at recess... She wants to have fun i get it, but not at the expense of her grades.  We do fun things when she is home, parks, movies, we color together, she reads to her baby brother, we are planning to go to the zoo next week. IDK... i guess having her do the work books again and doing them over when she rushes wouldn't hurt. Thank you for the suggestion. :)

Quoting a_and_j_momma: Do you have practice books for her?
Quoting die4u:

 She wasnt punished for "needs improvement" her handwriting is really bad, so after home work i had her writing a letter to any family memeber she wanted about whatever she wanted as a way to practice her handwriting and getting her to slow down instead of rush! I punished her for lying not for her grades. She is an excelent student and i'm proud of her for that, i tell that to her all the time. She get's student of the week, AB honor roll, terrific kid! Writing leters is not a punishment, i mean what else do i do to get her handwriting in check. It's so bad you cant read her writing and if the teacher cant read her writing then she gets bad scores. My parents were not involved with my schooling and i did bad, i want her to do well, she is smart and should have someone at home to look out for her.

Quoting a_and_j_momma: I do agree she was wrong for hiding it from you. I don't think she should be punished for "needs improvement." If she wasn't punished for it, she wouldn't be scared to show you

 

 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)