So I pick up my dd 7 from school everyday. Yesterday I pick her up as usual, but they had fundraiser stuff come in so I had to go to the cafeteria to pick up her stuff that had been sold. I'm standing there waiting and her teacher walks up and asks me to please have her bring her report card back in tomorrow. I look at my dd and say "oh I didn't know we had report cards this week!" Teacher then tells me that they were give out LAST week!
I wait till we get to the car and ask dd what's going on. Why she hasn't given me her report card. Now mind you dd is an A B student and has excellent behavior in school. She said that she had gotten a N (need improvement) on her handwriting (she is a lefty and she rushes) and that she was scared.... I looked at her and asked her why she was scared... (we do not spank for grades, and she rarely gets spanked) She tells me "Because your going to make me write sentences!" SENTENCES! Are you kidding me kid!
I could understand being afraid cause she thought she was going to get her booty beat, but to write sentences! So I explain to her how she would have been in less trouble if she had just given me her report card and dealt with the consequices rather than hiding it from me and lying aobut it!
So my punishment was after homework was done to write "I will not lie.", until it was time for soccer practice and then she will resume writing her letters (we have had her write letters to her family members as a way to work on her handwriting rather than repetitive sentences) and then we would decide what other punishment after I looked at her report card.
So she cried, she hates to disappoint and upset me and it's really hard to fuss at her. But it has to be done. So we get home and I finally get to see this dreaded N she got and guess what! It was all for nothing. She miss read the stupid report card and she has actually improved to and S! All of her grades remained the same A's and B's so she actually would have been rewarded for her great report card. But instead which we sat her down and explained to her , we now have to keep up the punishment for lying! So on top of lying about this she also has a few chores she does like making her bed, feeding the cats, cleaning their litter box and keeping her room clean. She does most of this in the am before school. Well she has been telling us she makes her bed and she hasn't, I know it's small stuff, but how fast that small stuff turns into big stuff and into things I can no longer fix.
I do spank for lying! It's not acceptable behavior and I made sure she knew that it was not! We talk a lot and try to enforce good morals, Yes mam, No mam, and Yes sir and no sir. I want more than anything for my child be a good person. I want her to understand you have to work to get the things you want and need. I pray I'm on the right path!
What do you do to ensure your children are productive member of society? What to you do to make sure they understand that being punished is out of love and to make them better people? I never understood until i became a mom what it meant, a necessary evil, it hurts me more than it hurts you, because it breaks my heart to be the mean mom. But i know it will benefit her in the long run! I love my babies.