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UPDATE: BMs Do You Find Yourself Responsible?

Posted by on Apr. 18, 2014 at 7:12 PM
  • 9 Replies

If your child needs to go to the doctor do you schedule appt or call BF to schedule appt.

Do you take them to their appt or leave it to BF to take them?

How about the medical bills. Do you pay them, split them in half, or leave it to BF? (DH court order states they split medical bills)

After a few replies I will update why I am asking. Just curious to how others work it out.

UPDATE: So I see many of you taking the responsibility to schedule and take your child to their appts. This is what I was expecting to hear. Then some pay medical bills or have DH too or Spilt.

Reason I have asked this is because DH and BM are to split all medical bills. BM will not have anything to do with any of SS medical appts. She always texts me and say, "Hey ____ is having this type of problem you think you can call and get him an appt and take him." Of course I am not going to tell her no. I treat him as he is my own. BM has told DH she couldn't bring SS because she didn't have money to pay on his acct. We have heard this since he was three. SS has insurance with DH but it doesn't pay all and not even close to a dent in bill.

Just two months ago I got a payment agreement with one of his doctors and she volunteered to help pay half. I was like awesome finally some help. DH didn't have any faith in her helping. I originally planned to pay 50 a month but told her it was 75 a month and we would split it. When I told her about the payment agreement she told me to let her know the acct #, amt to pay, number to call and she would call to make payment. There is a catch. She wants me to remind her every month. Smh..... Well I did. I mailed a check off and texted her to tell her our half was in mail (well it was a little over half). She never replied back. I got the bill in mail and the only payment was from us. I'm thinking really..... Well I told her about it when she dropped SS off and she said she forgot about it and to resend all info to her again. So I did..... Just waiting to see if she makes this months payment. The doctor's office has on file her info and that she is to pay half each month as their court order states. I just don't understand why you wouldn't want to pay your childs medical bills. She already gets child support from DH. All she is responsible to pay is $37.5 a month on that bill. If she didn't want to help out all I am saying is she could have said no. Instead of volunteering to pay half.

SS went to the hospital two years ago had to get on ambulance to hospital. BM said she would pay both hospital bill and ambulance. We figured that was ok since we just spent 500 on glasses and take care of all prescriptions and doctors appts. Well I called and checked on both accts and she got financial help from the hospital. They paid half his bill and left her to pay rest. Then the ambulance fee has not even been touched. To this day I have checked and she still has not paid any of it. All together is about 700. Also to this day she still has not asked DH to help. I just don't get it. I have three accounts open with the hospital we pay a small amt on each month and with all them together is about 3,000 we owe. I have my own bill at my OBGYN I have payment plan. I have payment plan with three accts at our family doctor. Then we have an acct open with one of the doctors from hospital we have a payment plan on. Yes it's all a lot but we pay a little each month till they are all paid. We struggle all the time as I mentioned on another ongoing post I have. I'm sure she struggles too at times.

We both are SAHMs so she has plenty of time to take SS to doctor's appts. She uses the excuse she has a baby. Well he is two.... I have a two year old too that is two weeks older then hers. If I can do it so can she. My little guy is a wild man and about pulls my hair out at times but I still bring him if one of my kids are sick. Forget about what is owed and just take your child to a doctor's appt.

 

 

by on Apr. 18, 2014 at 7:12 PM
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Replies (1-9):
SavanasMama08
by Member on Apr. 18, 2014 at 7:13 PM
I make all the appointments and take her. It's his insurance so he pays all the medical bills. None of its court ordered.
a_and_j_momma
by Gold Member on Apr. 18, 2014 at 7:33 PM
We both make appointments. I always take them to the dentist or for check ups. If they need to go when they are sick then we communicate on who can take that day or the next. Our children are double covered for ins so no out of pocket expenses but if there were we would split them
Malayahsmom06
by Member on Apr. 18, 2014 at 8:02 PM
My ex is a deadbeat. When the girls were little I did all of it, he did nothing.
Bleacheddecay
by Gold Member on Apr. 18, 2014 at 8:44 PM

I made all the appointments and took our child too. I didn't mind that. I wouldn't have trusted him to take her and stay on point anyway.

I paid. He got the checks from the insurance company reimbursing. It sucked.Though it was supposed to be split, he was difficult to get money out of.

And even worse if out child was on meds, he wouldn't give her the meds while on his "visit."

shalynoel
by Member on Apr. 18, 2014 at 8:46 PM

And this is my son's biological father as well! I refused for him to pay health insurance because I knew he wouldn't do it and he'd just go without. Now he's MIA! Luckily, I'm remarried and my husband helps take care of the medical care.

Quoting Malayahsmom06: My ex is a deadbeat. When the girls were little I did all of it, he did nothing.


Mrs.Urquhart
by Member on Apr. 18, 2014 at 8:59 PM

I make her appointments unless she's in my ex's care-- he does so then.  We split the bills and co-pays 50/50.


Malayahsmom06
by Member on Apr. 18, 2014 at 10:29 PM
I remarried also. My husband is awesome. I hope yours is also :)

Quoting shalynoel:

And this is my son's biological father as well! I refused for him to pay health insurance because I knew he wouldn't do it and he'd just go without. Now he's MIA! Luckily, I'm remarried and my husband helps take care of the medical care.

Quoting Malayahsmom06: My ex is a deadbeat. When the girls were little I did all of it, he did nothing.

shalynoel
by Member on Apr. 18, 2014 at 10:33 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes! He's great! So happy for you!

Quoting Malayahsmom06: I remarried also. My husband is awesome. I hope yours is also :)
Quoting shalynoel:

And this is my son's biological father as well! I refused for him to pay health insurance because I knew he wouldn't do it and he'd just go without. Now he's MIA! Luckily, I'm remarried and my husband helps take care of the medical care.

Quoting Malayahsmom06: My ex is a deadbeat. When the girls were little I did all of it, he did nothing.


christina122952
by on Apr. 18, 2014 at 11:49 PM
I have medicaid for my daughter. I make my dd spots because of the hours my bf works. I schedule for when his off to go with us. My bf goes to all spots.
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