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Curfew question, what time d your teen have to be in?

Posted by on Apr. 27, 2014 at 12:26 AM
  • 34 Replies

My son is seventeen. We have his curfew for 11 p.m. On weekends and 9 on school nights. For the Past two nights, an after school program has caused him to need to stay out longer. His girlfriend is in theater production where they set things up for the plays and he has been helping with that to. Afterwards they all went out to eat last night which caused them to be out after his curfew. He asked before he went and we said ok. Well tonight he said they had an after party which they wouldn't get to until 10:30 and the party may last until 1:00 a.m.

i was going to tell him 12 but dh was adamant he either comes in at 11 or no party. He is 17. when I was that age my curfew was 12:00. I have been wondering if maybe we should give him a 12:00 curfew but dh says no. What do you think is a good curfew on the weekend for a seventeen year old?  I really think dh should have let him stay until 12 tonight. He worked on the set to and the other kids, his girlfreind included, were allowed to stay at the after oarty until 1 or so my son says. I don't feel he was lying about that. I feel like dh is always assuming my son is up to no good even when I know he's not doing anything wrong. 



by on Apr. 27, 2014 at 12:26 AM
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Replies (1-10):
jackiewal10
by Gold Member on Apr. 27, 2014 at 12:32 AM

I don't have teens yet, but when *I* was a teenager, my curfew starting in Junior year was 12.  That was 17 years ago if that makes a difference. (Other than making me feel REALLY old for just realizing that...  LOL)

Mom2Squared
by New Member on Apr. 27, 2014 at 12:33 AM
9:00 on week nights. 12:30 on weekends.
littlelamb303
by Member on Apr. 27, 2014 at 12:36 AM

My 17 yr old does not have much time to go out(she works all the time) but when she does, it is 11 o clock.  On the few occasions she did go to a friends house during the week, I insisted she be home by 9  . The bus comes at 6 20 AM and she needs to sleep.   If it was a special occasion, I would be ok with 12, but 11 is fine for all other times.

pce68
by on Apr. 27, 2014 at 1:08 AM

My daughter is 15, and she does not have a set time to be home. Right now she rarely goes out without me, but when she does, there will not be a preset curfew. I will determine when she should be home based on what she is doing, so it might be 11 one weekend, or 1 another, depending on what activity she is going to.

ABCMomma0211
by on Apr. 27, 2014 at 1:13 AM
Theres no point in saying "be home by 12." If the party is over at 1.

Secondly, when i was a teen, week days it was 10, weekends as long as i was home before sunrise ad my mom knew where i was i didnt have one.
wissotamum
by Member on Apr. 27, 2014 at 1:13 AM
He sounds like a good kid. By 17, if he's still communicating with you about his activities, and is asking for permission to stay out late you're doing great. It sound like he's going to low risk activities (probably no booze or drugs or other illegal activity). I guess I'd ask DH what his rationale is for sticking with an arbitrary curfew.
ABCMomma0211
by on Apr. 27, 2014 at 1:14 AM
In my opinion thats a mistake.

I had set curfew til i was 15, and it was a disaster, and was why i was drinking/partying. And gone for days at a time.

Quoting pce68:

My daughter is 15, and she does not have a set time to be home. Right now she rarely goes out without me, but when she does, there will not be a preset curfew. I will determine when she should be home based on what she is doing, so it might be 11 one weekend, or 1 another, depending on what activity she is going to.

booaura
by Bronze Member on Apr. 27, 2014 at 1:15 AM
I don't have any teens yet, but when I was a teen, I never had a curfew, I just had to tell my parents where I was and when I'd be home. I may do that, depending on what my kids are like when they are older, or enforce a curfew.
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pce68
by on Apr. 27, 2014 at 1:19 AM

I trust my daughter. She has always been honest with me, and has always been a good, well behaved kid. I seriously doubt that will change in the next couple of years.

ETA: You said having a set curfew was a mistake for you. So why is having no curfew a mistake then? Sounds like you are against a curfew and against no curfew. Which one is it?

Quoting ABCMomma0211: In my opinion thats a mistake. I had set curfew til i was 15, and it was a disaster, and was why i was drinking/partying. And gone for days at a time.
Quoting pce68:

My daughter is 15, and she does not have a set time to be home. Right now she rarely goes out without me, but when she does, there will not be a preset curfew. I will determine when she should be home based on what she is doing, so it might be 11 one weekend, or 1 another, depending on what activity she is going to.


beadingmom17
by Bronze Member on Apr. 27, 2014 at 1:30 AM
I think his curfew is reasonable, but I think you and your husband need to communicate a little more about special events. I don't have teens, yet (though Lord knows my girls think they are, lol), but I don't see the harm in letting him celebrate. I was very involved in theatre in high school and my parents made exceptions for things like after parties, going out to eat after rehearsals (or dances), etc. It was only a handful of times it happened :)
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