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You're having sex with your boss?!

Posted by on May. 4, 2014 at 3:29 PM
  • 23 Replies

Yesterday was my DHs birthday, and my sister agreed to watch our son for a few hours so we could enjoy the night out. All was going well until he asked me to use the internet on my phone for something. Instead of searching online, he decided to take a look at my contacts. I didn't think anything of it, because I have nothing to hide. Anyway, he saw the name "Steve PartnerFirm" and his demeanor completely changed. He got upset saying "why do you have a ni**as number in your phone?" "Do you text him?" "Do you talk to him" and a few other questions. I work in a law office and the partners call me and the other 2 paralegals on a regular to discuss the files that need to be completed over night etc. I explained this to him and his response was that he felt "You don't need to have no mans number in your phone if you have to talk to them you can talk to them at work". We've been together for more then 5 years, and it seems as if he never completely trusts me. He tells me it's because his mother had an affair with her cousin when he was a child, and so he's suspicious of women. But it's really starting to become a problem in our relationship. Am I wrong for being bothered at the distrust? In my position what would you do? Does your husband, boyfriend, significant other let you talk to members of the opposite sex? 

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by on May. 4, 2014 at 3:29 PM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Ruby Member on May. 4, 2014 at 3:44 PM
1 mom liked this

Dh has ALL co workers phone numbers in his phone, both sexes.  He makes calls at night and weekends and has to have everyone in his phone. When you are a boss this is the way it works. 

Your dh is wrong to distrust you because of phone numbers.  He needs to get over it or I would be finding someone new.  It is his issue, not yours. 

LilyRuiz213
by Member on May. 4, 2014 at 3:47 PM

I agree with your opinion 100%. It's bothersome after being together for so long distrust still exists. I'm sad to say it but I think he's a really insecure man. I don't want to use the word "allow" because he's not my father but he said if I want to be with him that I cant have male friends, or social networks on (He doesn't know about CM) because theres no reason to talk to other men besides him =/ it's becoming a real big issue..

Quoting atlmom2:

Dh has ALL co workers phone numbers in his phone, both sexes.  He makes calls at night and weekends and has to have everyone in his phone. When you are a boss this is the way it works. 

Your dh is wrong to distrust you because of phone numbers.  He needs to get over it or I would be finding someone new.  It is his issue, not yours. 


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bmw29
by Bronze Member on May. 4, 2014 at 3:50 PM
I would tell him to kiss my ass. My dh trusts me enough that he doesn't question who I speak to OT why. That's BS.
atlmom2
by Ruby Member on May. 4, 2014 at 3:52 PM

I agree, and that would be a huge issue and it seems like you said it is becoming more and more an issue and he is becoming more and more insecure. 

Quoting LilyRuiz213:

I agree with your opinion 100%. It's bothersome after being together for so long distrust still exists. I'm sad to say it but I think he's a really insecure man. I don't want to use the word "allow" because he's not my father but he said if I want to be with him that I cant have male friends, or social networks on (He doesn't know about CM) because theres no reason to talk to other men besides him =/ it's becoming a real big issue..

Quoting atlmom2:

Dh has ALL co workers phone numbers in his phone, both sexes.  He makes calls at night and weekends and has to have everyone in his phone. When you are a boss this is the way it works. 

Your dh is wrong to distrust you because of phone numbers.  He needs to get over it or I would be finding someone new.  It is his issue, not yours. 



LilyRuiz213
by Member on May. 4, 2014 at 3:57 PM

You're a very lucky woman to have a man by your side who trusts you completely.

Quoting bmw29: I would tell him to kiss my ass. My dh trusts me enough that he doesn't question who I speak to OT why. That's BS.


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bmw29
by Bronze Member on May. 4, 2014 at 3:59 PM
I know I'm lucky to have him but honestly I wouldn't have married him if he didn't trust me. We're partners and we have to trust and respect each other or else that partnership will fall apart.

Quoting LilyRuiz213:

You're a very lucky woman to have a man by your side who trusts you completely.

Quoting bmw29: I would tell him to kiss my ass. My dh trusts me enough that he doesn't question who I speak to OT why. That's BS.

LilyRuiz213
by Member on May. 4, 2014 at 4:04 PM

That's what I don't understand. As a woman, I'm very insecure with my body. Despite my insecurities I trust him 100%. Yet hes constantly suspicious of me, I don't have the slightest idea how to fix this..

Quoting atlmom2:

I agree, and that would be a huge issue and it seems like you said it is becoming more and more an issue and he is becoming more and more insecure. 

Quoting LilyRuiz213:

I agree with your opinion 100%. It's bothersome after being together for so long distrust still exists. I'm sad to say it but I think he's a really insecure man. I don't want to use the word "allow" because he's not my father but he said if I want to be with him that I cant have male friends, or social networks on (He doesn't know about CM) because theres no reason to talk to other men besides him =/ it's becoming a real big issue..

Quoting atlmom2:

Dh has ALL co workers phone numbers in his phone, both sexes.  He makes calls at night and weekends and has to have everyone in his phone. When you are a boss this is the way it works. 

Your dh is wrong to distrust you because of phone numbers.  He needs to get over it or I would be finding someone new.  It is his issue, not yours. 




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LilyRuiz213
by Member on May. 4, 2014 at 4:05 PM

I think that was my problem. He had trust issues from the begining but he said to give him time and he'll be able to move past the distrust that he has of women, and he never did. 

Quoting bmw29: I know I'm lucky to have him but honestly I wouldn't have married him if he didn't trust me. We're partners and we have to trust and respect each other or else that partnership will fall apart.
Quoting LilyRuiz213:

You're a very lucky woman to have a man by your side who trusts you completely.

Quoting bmw29: I would tell him to kiss my ass. My dh trusts me enough that he doesn't question who I speak to OT why. That's BS.



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atlmom2
by Ruby Member on May. 4, 2014 at 4:05 PM

I too couldn't marry someone that didn't trust me and I trust him. 

Quoting bmw29: I know I'm lucky to have him but honestly I wouldn't have married him if he didn't trust me. We're partners and we have to trust and respect each other or else that partnership will fall apart.
Quoting LilyRuiz213:

You're a very lucky woman to have a man by your side who trusts you completely.

Quoting bmw29: I would tell him to kiss my ass. My dh trusts me enough that he doesn't question who I speak to OT why. That's BS.



lilblu399
by Bronze Member on May. 4, 2014 at 4:09 PM
2 moms liked this
He may be cheating. In some situations the cheater will make accusations to throw off the faitful one. Or he's a controlling asshole. If his mistrust is truly from what happened with his mom, then he should go to therapy.
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