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How do I get my husband to talk to me...?

Posted by on May. 4, 2014 at 7:29 PM
  • 16 Replies

We have 3 children already, two are from a previous relationship of mine and their father and I have shared custody so they spend 6 days with him and 8 days with me. We have a son together who will be 2 on Saturday. We haven't prevented another pregnancy since he was born (we struggled for 14 months to get pregnant and STAY pregnant with him), unless you count breastfeeding. I have some female hormone issues, causing my periods to be very difficult, to keep a long story short, and we started the Clomid pills to officially TTC again one year ago, we switched to Femara a few months ago. I have done more testing, dh did a sperm analysis and everything checks out fine. We just are not having any luck. The next step is IUI and DH isn't fully on board. I don't want to go through too much extra to get pregnant, since we already have 3, but we have both said we would like another one. 

The problem is, if I am not on ovulation pills, I have bleeding/spotting for about 20 days a month. My dr and I have talked and have decided that if we are for sure done having kids, then she is okay with doing a partial hysterictomy (sp?). 

So, I am trying to explain to DH, that I would like to try the IUI a few times this summer before I am comfortable with finally giving up and just doing the hysterictomy, however he thinks we should just keep doing everything the old fashion way and see if it happens, and every time I bring it up he gets upset and says he doesn't want to talk about it and that if I keep "shoving it down his throat" that he will just say forget the whole thing. At this point, I only bring it up whenever I get a new update from the DR. He doesn't realize we just can't keep trying forever because of my health issues and he doesn't seem to fully realize how much I suffer during my periods. 

He is a great guy, I just can't get him to talk to me about this certain subject, I think he feels like he will be less of a man if he can't do it the old fashioned way. 

*Wife to Joel since 10-2-10*
*Mother of Addyson, Karder & Everett *
*Angel Babies 1/19/11 & 4/23/11*

by on May. 4, 2014 at 7:29 PM
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Replies (1-10):
facethetruth2b
by on May. 4, 2014 at 8:12 PM
3 moms liked this
Write him a letter. Give it to him let him read it. Then talk about it. That way your entire point gets across without interruption. Let him know the pros and con's and yell him he would he no less ...
Ryanswifey42012
by Member on May. 4, 2014 at 8:34 PM
1 mom liked this
Has the doctor ever said anything to u about endometrious? I have it and a lot of things u spoke of are common in endometrious patients
addykarder19
by Member on May. 4, 2014 at 9:37 PM
We have discussed it, and I have signs of it but she has never fully confirmed that it's endo.

I do have a bladder condition that affects my lower back and and pelvic region though.


Quoting Ryanswifey42012: Has the doctor ever said anything to u about endometrious? I have it and a lot of things u spoke of are common in endometrious patients
Crazylife1994
by on May. 4, 2014 at 9:38 PM

This completely. I do this with my husband when he doesn't seem to be getting what I am really trying to say.

Sending you as much baby dust as I possibly can. 

Quoting facethetruth2b: Write him a letter. Give it to him let him read it. Then talk about it. That way your entire point gets across without interruption. Let him know the pros and con's and yell him he would he no less ...

 

Ryanswifey42012
by Member on May. 4, 2014 at 9:50 PM
Well they would have to go inside and confirm that it actually is endometrious and if it is they can scrap it out. I had endometrious on my bladder also.

Quoting addykarder19: We have discussed it, and I have signs of it but she has never fully confirmed that it's endo.

I do have a bladder condition that affects my lower back and and pelvic region though.


Quoting Ryanswifey42012: Has the doctor ever said anything to u about endometrious? I have it and a lot of things u spoke of are common in endometrious patients
strictmomhere
by Platinum Member on May. 4, 2014 at 9:55 PM
Letters work great here
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Nimue930
by Member on May. 4, 2014 at 10:03 PM
1 mom liked this

When something like this occurs, I usually tell my dh that I really want to talk to him about _______ and to please let me know when he is ready to discuss it.  That takes the pressure off of me, and he is usually ready to talk in a few days.  He might be unwilling to talk bc he just doesn't know what to say.. He doesn't want to hurt your feelings, or make the final decision of no more babies... It's a tough topic.

addykarder19
by Member on May. 4, 2014 at 10:20 PM
During my last csection she said my uterus looked great.. To quote her she said "your uterus looks great, you could have 12 more kids!"

My bladder condition is interstitial cystitis.

She is thinking that I have a mucus that is either blocking the sperm or killing the sperm before it can get to an egg. There is no test to find out if that is the case though, that's why with the OUIJA we would by pass any mucus.


Quoting Ryanswifey42012: Well they would have to go inside and confirm that it actually is endometrious and if it is they can scrap it out. I had endometrious on my bladder also.

Quoting addykarder19: We have discussed it, and I have signs of it but she has never fully confirmed that it's endo.

I do have a bladder condition that affects my lower back and and pelvic region though.


Quoting Ryanswifey42012: Has the doctor ever said anything to u about endometrious? I have it and a lot of things u spoke of are common in endometrious patients
chaotic.mind
by Member on May. 5, 2014 at 12:50 PM

I too like the idea of writing him a letter. He can't interupt or shut you down. Ask that he read the whole thing and you'll be there after to discuss things with him. 

KenneMaw
by Member on May. 5, 2014 at 5:40 PM
1 mom liked this

Is your doctor a man?  could he talk to your DH to try to explain what your body is going through?

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