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temper tantrums. nuff said

Posted by on Jun. 18, 2014 at 2:53 PM
  • 21 Replies
My two yr old son has begun too have the worst temper tantrums I've ever seen in terrible twos. I'm at a loss for what to do, time outs do not work,I'm very consistent when doing them. I've tried giving him more one on one time and doing things he's enjoys doing like playing with his toys and walking outside with him. We have tried ignoring behavior as well. The most recent tantrum seemed to start over the issue that he could not go out on the porch until he put shorts and a shirt on. He screams and cries and has recently been throwing anything in sight. I'm afraid he will start throwing things at his siblings. What can I do during a tantrum? What can I do to prevent?
by on Jun. 18, 2014 at 2:53 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Mom2Just1
by Mom2boys on Jun. 18, 2014 at 2:58 PM
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Keep doing what you're doing.  It's hard because they lack all words to communicate their frustration,

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lavenderwitch
by on Jun. 18, 2014 at 3:22 PM
1 mom liked this

The things I've tried with my kids is 

ignoring the tantrum

giving them choices 

taking away privileges or items that have significant meaning for short periods of time.  Kinda like grounding them.  It's hard because you just want them TO QUIT~~~~

(hugs)

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idunno1234
by Member on Jun. 18, 2014 at 3:23 PM
1 mom liked this

Remove him from the situation so that he is completely by himself.....when he has no one to tantrum to, the tantrum loses its power.  He has to learn to calm himself down and being around others tends to feed the rage when he is in the midst of it.

Above all, keep calm.

As he develops his verbal skills, hopefully the frustration he feels will be lessened somewhat.

countrygirlkat
by Kathleen on Jun. 18, 2014 at 3:39 PM
3 moms liked this

When he starts to throw a tantrum I would nicely take his hand and say, "Uh, oh so sad."  Walk him calmly to his bedroom and tell him he can come out when he is ready to be nice.  Shut the door but not all the way.  If he comes out when he is still screaming then walk him back in.  If he comes out not screaming then allow him back into whatever is going on at that point.  As for helping to prevent them give him every choice you possibly can.  Ask him if he wants to wear the red shirt or the blue shirt.  If he wants to use the yellow cup or the orange cup.  Every choice you can leave up to him.  That way when you put your foot down on choices you make he may be more likely to go with them if you remind him you let him make lots of choices already and now it is your choice.  It is a great method called Love and Logic:  Magic for Early Childhood by Jim and Charles Fay.

Retrokitty
by Bronze Member on Jun. 18, 2014 at 5:26 PM
1 mom liked this
When kids tantrum their higher brain functions turn off and their lower ones kick in.

Instead of punishing for a tantrum, which only leads to more anger and frustration from the child, focus instead on teaching him to control his anger.

Tell him hitting and throwing are not okay, but it's okay to be angry.

My son turned 2 in March. What DF and I do is we will count to 10, breath in and out 3x, and then ask him "where's blue!" "Where's red?!" Etc. and so on.

He not only learns methods to get over his anger, but it's also done and over with in less than a minute. Our jobs as parents is not to punish when our child does something wrong, but instead teach them how to do it right. There is often the misconception that punishment works, when it doesn't. It's almost always the other things parents do that make the behaviour stop. Like often after time out a parent will talk to their child about it. Therefore they think it was the time out that worked, but really it was talking to them about it. A lot of behaviour is outgrown as well.
butzi
by Member on Jun. 20, 2014 at 8:05 AM
Do you have a "time out bottle"? We don't call ours that for obvious reasons... We call it a calm down bottle it has glitter and glitter glue and water in it. When my 3 year old was younger it really helped her to focus on the glitter instead of her tantrum. Google time out bottle or calm down bottle for instructions
Johnnysxangel
by Member on Jun. 20, 2014 at 8:18 AM
1 mom liked this
My son (he'll be 3 next month) does the same thing! He never had tantrums before but now he screams, he hits, he throws things, and he spits. He's an only child and hasn't been in daycare since November, so I'm not sure where he picked this up. Like you, time outs don't work for him. I have found that giving him a hug and then talking with him about how it's not okay to act that way because it hurts mummy and daddy and their feelings does help to calm him down sometimes and elicit an apology from him. If that doesn't work I tell him no mammy and pawpaw (my parents let him stay the night every weekend and I am so lucky to have them). As soon as I throw that out he switches from an angry tantrum to crying and says he's sorry and he wants to go to mammy and pawpaw's. Of course that threat is never held up because he loves his grandparents so stinking much, and my parents would be mad at me because they want him over lol. I also nicely say "dry it up and breathe" and he'll stop crying and take some deep breaths to calm down. Good luck momma!
olivejuice2
by Member on Jun. 21, 2014 at 2:43 PM
My dd just turned 2. When she gets worked up I get down to her level and ask her to make eye contact with me. Sometimes I have to hold her still or even lay her on her back (always gently, I'm careful never to be rough with her).

When I have eye contact I quietly ask her to stop crying and use her words to tell me what's upsetting her. It's important for me to stay very calm and speak softly. It also helps that she is very verbal. This doesn't always calm her down but it helps keep it from escalating.

I don't know if this will work for you, my dd doesn't usually get to the point of throwing herself on the ground or flailing. I'm usually able to prevent her from getting worked up to a full out tantrum. Once I have her attention she either communicates what's wrong or I can try to redirect her.

Good luck.
olivejuice2
by Member on Jun. 21, 2014 at 5:43 PM
As PPs have said, choices are a good idea. Even if it's an all or nothing choice. Dd got upset that I cut a cupcake in half and was working up a tantrum. I told her she could eat half or she could be all done and go play. She quieted down and calmly ate her cupcake.
andersongirl562
by on Jun. 21, 2014 at 5:53 PM
So you reward tantrums with a shiny toy?

Quoting butzi: Do you have a "time out bottle"? We don't call ours that for obvious reasons... We call it a calm down bottle it has glitter and glitter glue and water in it. When my 3 year old was younger it really helped her to focus on the glitter instead of her tantrum. Google time out bottle or calm down bottle for instructions
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