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Midlife Crises?

Posted by on Jun. 21, 2014 at 9:55 AM
  • 5 Replies

My husband has turned into this self centered, selfish person that I feel like I don't even know. We have been together for 18 years. 8 years ago I got injured at work and got a small settlement that I put toward our mortgage so the payments would be low enough so we can survive on one income because I can't find sustainable work with my injury. So I became a stay at home mom with limited ability to maintain the house but I do what I can. I really depend on him a lot. Maybe he resents that but he won't say so. But on with my rant, before my injury every thing was 50/50 but now he has become obsessive, like what his is his, and what mine is his. A few examples, my computer died but he wouldn't let me use his but now his computer is dead and he EXPECTS me to give up mine. I am not ALLOWED to sit on HIS couch, but he can sit on mine. I am not ALLOWED to drive HIS truck yet he takes mine all the time. Which mind you, leaves me without a vehicle. I get so mad, and so hurt by this. He is 38, I wonder if this is maybe like a midlife crises thing. Oh and I should add that he is angry almost ALL the time. 

Added info: I feel that I should add that yes, I said he is 38 but he is aging faster than most, for example he started going gray at 21 and has a condition that only men over 50 get, and he has had it for 7 years now.

by on Jun. 21, 2014 at 9:55 AM
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Replies (1-5):
Bmat
by Barb on Jun. 21, 2014 at 10:18 AM
3 moms liked this

It sounds as though he needs a medical checkup. When someone's behavior changes, it can be due to something not working right in their bodies. He also seems under too much stress. I don't know how to lessen this, though. On your part, maybe cut back on what you ask or expect him to do, for example. If it is possible hire someone to do some of what he has needed to pick up after your injury. If medical problems are ruled out, and talk with his doctor about this problem, then a counselor sounds like a good idea.

SweetBabySmell
by Member on Jun. 21, 2014 at 10:47 AM
1 mom liked this

When dh went through a mid-life crisis he was about 45. This sounds like it may be more. Try talking to him, genlty, lovingly, but firmly about what your needs and expectations are now, that life changes, sometimes for the good, sometimes not. He may need to talk to someone about this, his (and your) world has been turned upside down. These circumstances are beyond your control. I have an injury in which it is hard to find employment now that I am able also so I know how you feel. Good Luck Hun.

atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Jun. 21, 2014 at 10:52 AM
1 mom liked this

It doesn't sound like a midlife crises.  He has turned into an asshole.  My dh is 52 and isn't an asshole. 

sara170
by Member on Jun. 21, 2014 at 12:25 PM

You are right about that, but I don't think people just choose to be an asshole one day, I think maybe the previous post is on the right track, maybe a medical check up is in order.


Quoting atlmom2:

It doesn't sound like a midlife crises.  He has turned into an asshole.  My dh is 52 and isn't an asshole. 


atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Jun. 21, 2014 at 12:31 PM

I can't think of a medical reason to turn someone into an asshole overnight.  Maybe its a try but I would say counseling and asking him why he is acting that way. 

Quoting sara170:

You are right about that, but I don't think people just choose to be an asshole one day, I think maybe the previous post is on the right track, maybe a medical check up is in order.

Quoting atlmom2:

It doesn't sound like a midlife crises.  He has turned into an asshole.  My dh is 52 and isn't an asshole. 


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