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Potty training and speech delay

Posted by on Jul. 18, 2014 at 8:29 PM
  • 8 Replies
My son will be 3 in December he has no other issues other than delayed speech (he rates around 14 months) he's on time or slightly advanced in other areas of development. He doesn't communicate he needs the potty or that he needs a diaper change likewise. I've made a couple attempts. Last time, I put him in cloth training pants and we'd start the day. I set him on the toliet and he'll happily sit there for a long time, all day if you left him. Sometimes he'll pee and most of the time nothing. I take him off the toliet after a while though, I feel just bad him sitting in there like that for long periods. When he pees he runs for the bathroom usually but obviously too late. When he'd poo his pants, he stood up from playing, gave me this look of shock/horror then went for the bathroom. I gave up and bought diapers when I found him frantically cleaning his pee off the bathroom floor with a towel he found, crying, two minutes after I let him get off the toliet after sitting in there for like 15 minutes! I want to help him learn not torcher my poor boy. I think maybe he doesn't understand the feeling that he has to go yet and is suprised when he does in his pants, then he feels bad about himself that he did and its a cycle. Too soon? What do you guys think? Any advice?? I'm stressed that ill miss the opportune time and find myself in the stubborn/rebellious/power struggle time I've read can happen :(

Edit: thank you all for your responce!
by on Jul. 18, 2014 at 8:29 PM
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by on Jul. 18, 2014 at 8:36 PM

I think that you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to have him potty trained before a certain time.

What we did was give our kids the tools they needed, like a potty chair, underwear and a potty training dvd (Elmo) and then stood back and waited for them to make the decision to use the potty. With that they were "trained" within a week!

DS was 2 1/2 but DD was close to 4. Neither had any delays and were advanced in a lot of ways.

by Bronze Member on Jul. 18, 2014 at 8:45 PM
We used a picture system and we also had a potty downstairs that he could use.

Damien has sensory issues so he didn't like being wet so it made him easy to potty train.
by Bronze Member on Jul. 18, 2014 at 8:45 PM
We used a picture system and we also had a potty downstairs that he could use.

Damien has sensory issues so he didn't like being wet so it made him easy to potty train.
by on Jul. 19, 2014 at 3:35 AM
We have added a potty chair in his room and one in the room he's in so there is no " panic" and run.

I take him to the bathroom every hour and a half, sometimes he's dry, and goes sometimes he's not , and still goes. I don't make him sit there for longer than five minutes at a time and we use pull ups as cloth did nothing.

I have no carpet so for about two and half hours a night, he is in underwear. And messes are easy to clean up.

It sounds like both of you are putting too much pressure over it. Toilet training is different for every child ... Some don't care to sit in the mess, others can not STAND it!

The fact that he seems to exhibit shame by trying to frantically clean up seems to suggest that some one somewhere had told him it's "bad" or not okay to have accidents.

Do you take him regularly whether he thinks he has to go or not? My son has special " bathroom books".... Books he can ONLY look at while trying ( relaxes the mind and let 'a things just happen) who doesn't have a " library" in their bathroom, right? ;-)

My son wants out of trainers so bad.... Has somehow become embarrassed by wearing them, I just keep telling him that when he can tell me he needs to potty BEFORE he does most of the time then he can move to underwear all the time , but even the there will be accidents and everyone messes up sometimes.

It really sounds like a closer receptacle will help bolster his confidence, and reiterate that no one is going to " beat" him for not always getting there in time.

The feeling of urination is faster learning than a BM.
I have shown my son by pushing on his abdomen where the muscles are for each, this has helped tremendously with urination and is kinda, sorta starting to help with BMs.

Like I said, all kids are different.... Yours seem to have developed a humiliation factor when he misses the " call", somehow that needs to be corrected in his mind. :-/

It isn't too early... He learning the feeling, but there does seem to be some xtra pressure being exerted on both of you. That seems to be the root from what you wrote . This is my second son. I started trying with my first at three ish. Same with this one... But it just seems that boys can be more difficult.

My older son did not totally get it down until three weeks before kinder!!!

This is just my experience and ways we've had more success, and obviously not the only way.

( my second son also has a speech delay, and one has nothing to do with the other) :-)

Good luck on this adventure ( and it certainly IS an adventure!
by Silver Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 6:25 AM

Id relax and let him take the lead. Go to the library, get some books, explain he will "get a feeling" talk about it in a relaxed manner... When he is ready he can suggest to you that you guys try again.. You could spend a summer day outside, naked in the yard.. "Drinking water and leqrning the feeling".... But many children dont develop an introception sense (feeling of hungry, bathrooming) at a certain time.. Much like his speech issue this could be a sligt delay... Take a month off- discuss with him positively and try again when he is ready. 

I did nothing but read books to my son.. At 3 years 3 months he told me he no longer wanted to wear diapers, and he never (2xs max) had an accident... Within 2 months after day training, he was night trained.. 

by on Jul. 19, 2014 at 6:28 PM
I'd say leave the kid alone. He'll start use the potty when he's ready and feels like it. Although they may exist, I don't know any grown-up who pees or poops in a diaper, except those with medical issues whose age is usually around 90. I'm pretty sure that your kid won't be an exception so don't torture him and yourself
by Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 11:19 PM

AWW he is trying and that is a start, I let my little guy run around naked for a weekend. That way there was no getting the pants down in time issue. I think he knows what it feels like now so I would say either give a break or let him run around naked and you will start to see his signs, like he is starting to wet. Snatch(I mean this is a nice but rushed manner) him up as soon as you see it and take him to the potty. I care for a young boy (daycare) and when he was training, we had worked for it for a good long time and I finally had to ask mom what his signs were. It was easy to pick up my own kids signs but I missed his so just watch for his signs that he has to go and take him right away. If you live out of town take him outside, they love that and as a result it makes potty training a positive experience for him. I let mine potty outside all the time, the problem is then teaching him boundries. 

by on Jul. 20, 2014 at 11:33 PM
Let him lead, be patient and provide him with opportunities. My dd didn't talk till she was 4 and half, not one word, I just put a potty seat in the bathroom, used pictures and we would do practice runs, where I acted it out. Something her therapist recommended I do. At that point I just let her get used to sitting on it, eventually she picked it up. I would also talk her through each step and ask her to try, but if she didn't then I didn't push it. Overall I would say just be patient.
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