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Biological daddy problem

Posted by on Jul. 19, 2014 at 3:37 PM
  • 55 Replies

I need some help. My son's father is basically a dead beat dad. He only sends a check every month. He has made no effort to see our son. Our son just turned a year a couple of weeks ago. I need to know if it would be ok for me to file abandonment charges against him. I've talked to a lawyer and they said I can do that. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and 2 months. He wants to adopt my son and I'm all for it. I'm just scared to do it. Please help. I need to know if this will help me get over him being a dead beat dad

by on Jul. 19, 2014 at 3:37 PM
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Replies (1-10):
AllAboutAmaya
by Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 3:55 PM
7 moms liked this
Have you tried talking to bio dad about spending time with your son? I think filing abandonment charges is extreme and unnecessary, especially since he does pay child support/send you money each month. Also, I wouldn't rush into your bf adopting your son unless or until you two are married. Relationships can be unpredictable and the two of you haven't been together for long enough to talk about such things. It would effect your son badly if he did adopt him then the two of you break up. I strongly suggest having a conversation with bio dad first.
Mrs.Urquhart
by on Jul. 19, 2014 at 3:59 PM
5 moms liked this
You can't file abandonment because he HASN'T abandoned. He's paying.
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MamiJaAyla
by Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 4:02 PM
Basically. And he pays can that is not a deadbeat dad. The term deadbeat parent is when they do NOT financially support child.
Look at the laws in your state regarding abandonment and severing parental rights. Honestly I don't think that your case would get far.

Quoting AllAboutAmaya: Have you tried talking to bio dad about spending time with your son? I think filing abandonment charges is extreme and unnecessary, especially since he does pay child support/send you money each month. Also, I wouldn't rush into your bf adopting your son unless or until you two are married. Relationships can be unpredictable and the two of you haven't been together for long enough to talk about such things. It would effect your son badly if he did adopt him then the two of you break up. I strongly suggest having a conversation with bio dad first.
teenkabear
by Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 4:02 PM

First of all, I wouldn't really consider him completely worthless.  He sends a check, and that is a lot more than tons of "dead beat dads" do.  I can count on 1 hand how many times my 3 kids (adopted, 11, 13, 14) have recieved anything in the way of financial support, or anything else for that matter from their "fathers".

If you are okay with not receiving that financial support monthly & you and your current boyfriend can handle it on your own, go for it.  If the guy never sees his kid, he shouldn't really be allowed to be called his/her "father".

Good luck.

It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves, that will make them successful human beings.

Also, a little video games never hurt.

MomMomMomMama
by on Jul. 19, 2014 at 4:15 PM
1 mom liked this

If he wants to adopt your son, he needs to marry you first.    The biofather sends a check because he has to - not because he wants to.  At least he's doing that much - a lot of women on here don't even get that much cooperation.  If you file abadonment charges, he may get upset and start trying to visit and get custody out of spite, not because he wants to be a father - wouldn't you rather have someone who wants to be the father be the father?  But again - if you BF wants to be the father, first he needs to be your husband.  

nikabear
by Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 4:20 PM
1 mom liked this
Technically he is not a dead beat because he sends a check every month....... And I agree with the other ladies, your boyfriend needs to marry you before he adopts your son.....
countrygirl2372
by New Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 4:20 PM

I have tried talking to him but he doesn't respond me and my boyfriend plan on getting married. Am I being to nice on trying to get him to be a part of his son's life?

Jenn8604
by Gold Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 4:21 PM
I wouldn't let the bf adopt him til he marries you. If an attorney says you can file for abandonment do it.
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AutymsMommy
by Silver Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 4:24 PM
1 mom liked this
Here step parent adoptions are more complicated; they require you are married for a year, can financially provide for the child with NO state assistance(including medical), background checks, home checks, privately hired guardian ad litem, attorneys, court dates, and all associated fees. It is treated as a private adoptions, incurring all the same red tape and fees.
AM-BRAT
by Amber on Jul. 19, 2014 at 4:26 PM
2 moms liked this
Why do you need all that paper? Just let him be the dad.
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