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Do you worry that you might bear a disabled child?

Posted by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 8:37 PM
  • 6 Replies
I hope that nobody takes this wrong, but I worry that I could not handle having a disabled child, and that makes me very frightened to TTC. I have a younger sister who is mildly disabled (not genetic, from something that happened before Mom knew that she was pregnant) and I've seen first hand how it is for a family and how society treats disabled people.
Of COURSE I would love, raise, etc any child, disabled or not, and i really don't have any reason to think that we would have a disabled child... but I worry about it because of my sister- seeing how she has been treated, always having to be protective of her against all of the mean people, helping her with her issues... It has me scared. (Hubby loves my sister and is very kind to her and has a sift spot for her, FWIW.) I just need someone to ease my fears, or at least tell me that I'm not alone in this fear.
by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 8:37 PM
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Replies (1-6):
ceciliam
by Cecilia on Jul. 23, 2014 at 9:00 PM

I'm sure it is a very normal fear.

I'm done having kids so it is not something I worry about at this point in my life.

-PB
by Gold Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 9:19 PM
1 mom liked this

You are not alone.  I have multiple sclerosis so I worry that as I age I am going to have difficulty getting around myself so taking care of a special needs teen or adult could be out of the question for physical reasons.  On top of that I take medication (class c drug) that causes severe damage to a unborn child.  It requires 2 months of flushing prior conception.  I take precautions but there is always that fear.

Momniscient
by Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 9:20 PM

I think that is a very very normal and shared fear.

FrankMamma
by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 9:29 PM
1 mom liked this

I worried about it, yes. I couldn't even bring myself to talk to dh about my fears. I have an older brother who is mentally handicapped and while I had a wonderful, popular childhood, could make my life a nightmare. I think my parents were advised he should stay institutionalized, I don't know for sure. I was worried my baby would be like that and I knew there was no way I could deal with it, but dh would want to keep him and keep him home. I would have had to divorce him, I knew there was no way I could handle it. I prayed a lot. Fortunately I have very healthy son. I can't have more so I will never have that worry again.

pandabearvirgo
by Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 10:05 PM
I have a 2yo that is autistic and it's very hard. I'm now 8 weeks pregnant and worry my next child will be to.
NeonGirl9583
by Bronze Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 10:10 PM
1 mom liked this
All 3 of my are special needs. We have theophy and a lot of doctors appointments. My Ds has K.K ...please don't ask me to spell it out. (its named after the Japanese makeup) he looks like he has the makeup on. Plus he has low muscle tone. My middle one has a major speech problem and can't move her mouth right. My youngest has low muscle tone. I love them as if they didn't have any problems. If I have another one I wouldn't worry if it would have special needs.
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