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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Screaming and tantrums of a Year and a Half Old Girl

Posted by on Jul. 24, 2014 at 11:37 PM
  • 14 Replies

So I have a little girl, Elaina, who will be 18 months old tomorrow but her tantrums remind me of my brother when he was going through the terrible twos. If we tell Elaina no or say she isn't allowed to do something, she immediately starts crying and begins screaming and wailing like it's the end of the world. I guess one of my questions is, how do I handle her screaming? What should I say or do when she begins screaming? We live in an apartment complex, where the walls are somewhat thin and we can hear conversations from the neighbors so having my gut instinct to just walk away and let Elaina cry and scream doesn't bode well for common courtesy among my neighbors. Another thing is finding the right way to discipline her when she does have these outbursts. We were putting her in a time out for one minute since she is one year old but I do not think it is properly disciplining her or helping her understand that she cannot hit, scream or cry when she does not get her way.

Any help or advice will be greatly appreciated :)


by on Jul. 24, 2014 at 11:37 PM
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Replies (1-10):
a_and_j_momma
by Gold Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 11:52 PM
Say nothing. Pretend she isn't there when she does it. Do not feed into it or give her any form of attention when she does it. It will get worse before better but she will stop
emarin77
by Bronze Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 3:29 PM

I suggest start giving her choices instead of saying no unless she is going to hurt herself.  It also sounds like your daughter is having difficulty communicating her needs since she screams and wails.  You can use pictures to teach her different facial expressions on how she feels.  You can teach her to say I'm angry, we do not scream.  When your happy you say I'm happy.  I suggest teaching her these words when she is calm.  If she does scream you need to give her a warning and if she does not use her words give her a consequence.  This consequence can be no sticker on her behaverial chart.  Once you see her using her words more you can give her an award at the end of the week.

LMMommy14
by New Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 3:41 PM

Sign language was actually a big helper with my daughter. Not anything major but she was able to tell us when she was hungry or thirsty. It helped her know she could communicate better with us. 

rockinmomto2
by Silver Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 3:53 PM

At that age, just let her scream during the day. Walk away. Punishing her is only going to make it worse. Since she's not quite verbal, the screaming is the only way she can express herself. In an apartment, noise is expected. She'll eventually stop when she sees that she's not getting the attention she wants from you.

Larae1990
by on Jul. 25, 2014 at 4:13 PM
Rather than leave her thrashing on the floor, go to her. If shes not flailing too much, pick her up and hold her. Chances are she'll find your embrace comforting and will calm down more quickly. And Try not to worry about what other ppl think anyone who's a parent has been there before. Giving in only teaches her that pitching a fit is the way to get what she wants and sets up for future tantrums. Talk it over afterward. When she calms down hold her close and talk about what happened. Using simple words, let her know you understand her frustration, and help her put her feelings into words. Kids get frustrated because they don't know how to express their emotions. Let her see that once she expresses herself in words, she'll get better results. Say with a smile, "I'm sorry I didn't understand you. Now that you're not screaming, I can find out what you want." Then give her a hug :) also kids at this age are fighting for control try offering her choices throughout the day to give her a sence of independence.
Mom2Just1
by Mom2boys on Jul. 25, 2014 at 4:47 PM

I have found my kids calm down if I hold them. Sometimes they are trying to communicate and it can be frustrating when they can't find the right words.

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kgbm13
by on Jul. 25, 2014 at 4:56 PM

I found for my stepdaughter that if she is throwing a tantrum for being told no or not hers.  I ask if need need to go to her room to cry. And she will go to her roo cry it out and 30-60 seconds later she is done.  If she is throwing things she goes to spot no toys for 2 minutes.

Optimistme
by on Jul. 26, 2014 at 9:06 AM
The best thing to do is walk away and have her understand tough love, you can't always get what you want. When she is done with her crying you go up to her and give her a big hug and kiss on the cheek, letting her know how much she is loved and her safety net ( mom and dad) are always there. I know it breaks your heart to do that, but as they get older they have more respect and understanding that they have what they need and when they are good and listen to our right teachings they get a special gift they want.
Optimistme
by on Jul. 26, 2014 at 9:14 AM
I agree with sign language, my daughter lets me know if she is still hungry or thirsty. Plus she now says the words while signing: more, thank you, stars are out time to go to sleep. Schedules are very important to keep. Breakfast, lunch, nap time, play time, dinner, bath time, reading books before bed then bed time.
buttersworth
by Bronze Member on Jul. 27, 2014 at 12:34 AM

I don't think Time-Outs do anything for a child Elaina's age. She's too young to really connect the infraction with the follow-up punishment. Don't forget, her attention span is short and so is her memory. Not to mention, she isn't having a tantrum to pizz you off. She's having tantrums out of frustration.

The frustration comes from the discrepancy between wanting her independence and needing mommy. Children have to go through this phase, because this is how they learn different limits as well as actually become independent in some areas.

There are a couple ways to handle tantrums. One is to identify (through observation) when a tantrum is likely coming, and to head it off by getting her either out of the situation or the place she's physically in.

A second way to handle a tantrum is to come up with a quick and clever distraction. Suppose she wants to get out of the grocery cart at the store and is screaming and thrashing. You look around and see over by the florist section a bunch of shiny baloons. You distract her by saying, Wow, look at these. But be careful what you use to distract...if you don't plan on BUYING her baloon, you might be in for another tantrum!

Of course, a third way is to completely eliminate any things that would ultimately lead to a tantrum. Such as not letting her eat too much sugar, not going places right before she needs to eat, recognizing when she needs a nap and not forcing her to go somewhere during that time, always make sure she's properly hydrated, etc.

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