Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Seeking help-Marriage

Posted by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 10:32 PM
  • 6 Replies

I have a LONG story but I am going to try and keep it short. 


My husband and I have 2 children (3YO, 2YO) and one due in Sept. A few weeks ago he decided he wanted a seperation (basically I went off the deep end with hormone issues and he was in the middle of a downward spiral into a serious depression.) We BOTH said and did things to one another that we should not have and when I realized all that was going on with me I was able to get help and started to get back to being "normal" (I am pregnant there is no normal....) but his depression was not something that we recognized until after he left. He is (as far as I am being told) getting help and that is great, he even has said to me that he realizes I am not the reason he has been so miserable that there is more going on. He has said that he wants to give us another chance. 

Then the day changes and he wants to be over, I am a horrible person, divorce is the ONLY option (we have only  been married since March but have dated on and off 5 years, planned a wedding for over a year.) I do not know whether to give him his space for a while and say nothing or just to be sort of there minimalistically reminding him I care about him. I do not really have any girlfriends to talk to and for sure do not want drama. It would be AWESOME if someone out there has been in a similar situation but made it through or just someone who needs a friend too, maybe we can connect over our sorrows so we can get it out and then have a laugh over whatever else. 


Thanks

by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 10:32 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-6):
beadingmom17
by Silver Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 11:00 PM
I haven't been through this and my heart aches for you, hun! Would he be open to couples counseling?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
applesnbananas
by Bronze Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 11:21 PM
Love is patient. Be kind and patient and understanding. Hopefully he will be to. Life, babies, and marriage are too beautiful to let slip away. Nothing worth fighting over as long as there's no abuse, drug use, alcoholism....
atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Jul. 31, 2014 at 12:16 AM

Sounds like you both need to fix yourselves before working on your marriage.  3 kids back to back could spin any marriage into a bad place. 

luvemboth
by on Jul. 31, 2014 at 12:22 AM
1 mom liked this
Marriage is most definitely worth fighting for. I was on the brink of divorce but we decided to fight for us and since then I've learned so much about the importance and value of marriage and can't state enough how much the effort is worth it.

That's great that he's aware of his depression and isn't blaming you for it. I'd suggest marriage counseling and individual counseling for him. If you're going to continue to live apart for a while let him know you're emotionally there for him and will be a faithful, encouraging wife while he figures out himself. If he's willing, a self help group for depression might be helpful to him. Most churches offer them in the evenings and some are just for guys. Hugs to you both!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
strictmomhere
by on Jul. 31, 2014 at 8:19 AM
Fight and get counceling
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
applesnbananas
by Bronze Member on Jul. 31, 2014 at 8:35 AM
Also you both need to surround yourselves with people that love you both and support your marriage.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)