Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Would you end this friendship?

Posted by on Aug. 4, 2014 at 1:20 PM
  • 74 Replies
We have been friends for about 15 years. I am the always the one to call/txt her. I always make the plans. I always show up to her events, baby shower, birthdays, ect. She cancels plans or forgets about them often. She even "forgot" my kids birthday. I have tried to talk to her about it but I'm starting to get fed up. My husband had been telling me for years that she is just self absorbed and a bad friend. What would you do? Stay friends and hope it works out? Stay friends but keep some distance? Or just end it?
by on Aug. 4, 2014 at 1:20 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
LyTe684
by Silver Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 1:27 PM
5 moms liked this
I'd just not contact her. Doesn't seem worth the fight.
Karmea
by Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 1:47 PM

If you don't feel like you're getting anything from the relationship, maybe it's not worth the effort. But if you value her friendship for other reasons, you could consider that people are just different. You could be better at coming up with ideas than she is, you could be more extroverted. Maybe she doesn't naturally have the social "skills" you have. Frankly, it could be that she's not into the friendship and only accepts your invitations when she has nothing better to do, but it could also be that she really values your friendship and just isn't as good at the social niceties as you'd like her to be. You know more details than we do, you should be able to see whether she's taking advantage of you or if you might just be complementing each other's strengths and weaknesses.

Man, that came off serious! lol Hope it helps.

momabear45
by New Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 1:52 PM
1 mom liked this

I would stay friends, but maybe don't make such a big effort to be at every event she has, just slack off a bit I'm sure she will notice.  But don't end the friendship or you may regret it. My friendship ended after I got tired of always being the one to initiate things.  I regret ending the freindship.

MamaLama710
by Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 2:02 PM
Lol love that last line. But you are probably right that she just doesn't value the friendship. She is really the extrovert here. It sounds shitty but sometimes I wonder if she can't deal being around me because I'm in a happy relationship and hers is very strained, I don't gloat or even mention it unless asked, but I still wonder. Before she had a kid I thought it was because I had a kid. Now I'm getting to the point of if she wants to be around she'll make it happen. It's just hard to let it go when we've been friends so long.

Quoting Karmea:

If you don't feel like you're getting anything from the relationship, maybe it's not worth the effort. But if you value her friendship for other reasons, you could consider that people are just different. You could be better at coming up with ideas than she is, you could be more extroverted. Maybe she doesn't naturally have the social "skills" you have. Frankly, it could be that she's not into the friendship and only accepts your invitations when she has nothing better to do, but it could also be that she really values your friendship and just isn't as good at the social niceties as you'd like her to be. You know more details than we do, you should be able to see whether she's taking advantage of you or if you might just be complementing each other's strengths and weaknesses.

Man, that came off serious! lol Hope it helps.

isaacsmommy68
by on Aug. 4, 2014 at 2:04 PM

I think we have the same friend. Mine would say see you tomorrow and then not show up. I just stopped answering the phone. Didnt talk to her in over a year. We kind of talk now, but dont get together.

strictmomhere
by Platinum Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 2:06 PM
1 mom liked this
I would stop if she is a true friend she will call or text
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
MamaLama710
by Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 2:11 PM
1 mom liked this
How did you end it? I think I'm just gonna see what happens when I do nothing.

Quoting momabear45:

I would stay friends, but maybe don't make such a big effort to be at every event she has, just slack off a bit I'm sure she will notice.  But don't end the friendship or you may regret it. My friendship ended after I got tired of always being the one to initiate things.  I regret ending the freindship.

ragdoll7777
by Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 2:13 PM

Put into the friendship as much effort as she is. I do this with every relationship in my life. Except debt collectors lol. Jk.

MamaLama710
by Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 2:16 PM
Well at least I'm not alone I guess. I've lost touch with a lot of friends over the years but made sure to keep her around, now I'm thinking I've chosen poorly. Making new friends is rough when you are a sahm, and have a serious case of rbf lol

Quoting isaacsmommy68:

I think we have the same friend. Mine would say see you tomorrow and then not show up. I just stopped answering the phone. Didnt talk to her in over a year. We kind of talk now, but dont get together.

MamaLama710
by Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 2:21 PM
So like the reverse of "you get what you give" basically? And hell if you put as much effort as a debt collector they'd call you a stalker lol

Quoting ragdoll7777:

Put into the friendship as much effort as she is. I do this with every relationship in my life. Except debt collectors lol. Jk.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN