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Punishments/discipline for a 7 y/o girl?

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I'm at my wits end. My DD is very VERY well behaved in public, at school, at other friends homes etc. so much so that I get compliments and hear other moms compare their kids behavior to mine "does Xyz cry when it's time to leave?"  But at home... It's just been hard. She runs constantly (she's not hyper and we constantly get outside/do activities. I revolve my day around getting the kids their needed entertainment and energy outlets) She does Not listen. Every time I say no, she IMMEDIATELY starts in on a contrarian reply. When it's time to get dressed, or do hair (brush and basic pony or quick clip nothing elaborate) she runs off screaming no. I will put the clothes in front of her and she tries EVERY TIME to do at least 3 other things. Summer work has been a complete insane scene. Over. And over. Even though previous times she ends up in her room, has TV and computer taken away and still ends up having to do it. She does VERY well at school. The work it not hard and doesn't take long, she just complains and  acts like a psycho even though we agreed on the time and activity. if she wants a dessert and I say no.... She goes on and on.


i just don't know what to do because I'm yelling, getting way over upset because she's relentless. 

by on Aug. 4, 2014 at 2:12 PM
Replies (21-28):
AnnaNonamus
by Member on Aug. 5, 2014 at 3:04 PM

Privlages can be anything she enjoys doing- watching a tv show, playing at the park (sit her butt on the bench while the others play), getting an ice cream treat, etc. Anything that is in your normal routine that she enjoys is a privlage.

Lottie925
by Member on Aug. 5, 2014 at 5:00 PM
Wow! I appreciate what your saying, but I do think her offenses are much less severe than that punishment would imply. She IS great the second she leaves our home. She is overall a great kid. Just having trouble communicating I think. I think some structure and following through on punishments are probably the way to go.

I mean, she's not hateful. She's just always negotiating out of doing what she is supposed to do or to get what she wants.

Quoting Mrs.Urquhart: Mine backtalked constantly, until I stripped her room bare and made her sit in there except for meals, until bedtime.... doing sentences. The length her punishment lasted depended on how long she took to write them. A 50 sentence punishment of "I will backtalk my mother," could take 30 minutes or 3 days...

She shaped up when I refused to back down.
Mrs.Urquhart
by on Aug. 5, 2014 at 6:47 PM
I neglect to see where backtalk wouldn't warrant this response, but good luck. :)

Quoting Lottie925: Wow! I appreciate what your saying, but I do think her offenses are much less severe than that punishment would imply. She IS great the second she leaves our home. She is overall a great kid. Just having trouble communicating I think. I think some structure and following through on punishments are probably the way to go.

I mean, she's not hateful. She's just always negotiating out of doing what she is supposed to do or to get what she wants.

Quoting Mrs.Urquhart: Mine backtalked constantly, until I stripped her room bare and made her sit in there except for meals, until bedtime.... doing sentences. The length her punishment lasted depended on how long she took to write them. A 50 sentence punishment of "I will backtalk my mother," could take 30 minutes or 3 days...

She shaped up when I refused to back down.
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momtimesx4
by Member on Aug. 5, 2014 at 6:53 PM

 We do that but try to gear the sentences to something related to course work/current events along with sitting and facing corner.  Sometimes their mouthiness gets out of hand and they earn a trip over my knee.

Quoting Mrs.Urquhart: Mine backtalked constantly, until I stripped her room bare and made her sit in there except for meals, until bedtime.... doing sentences. The length her punishment lasted depended on how long she took to write them. A 50 sentence punishment of "I will backtalk my mother," could take 30 minutes or 3 days... She shaped up when I refused to back down.

 

cats911
by on Aug. 6, 2014 at 12:39 AM

 

I used to make my kids clean walls.  They got so dirty with hands all the time.  Even times I made them use toothbrushes to clean.

Quoting Button123:

Your story is similar to mine. My 8yr old needed a lesson in respect for his parents too. Nothing works and he just responds to anger with anger, so I put him to work. I made him scrub the kitchen floor with a bucket and scrub brush, then talk to him afterwards about why he had to scrub it. It works like a charm.

 

JasonsMom2007
by Platinum Member on Aug. 6, 2014 at 12:51 AM
For my 7 year old a timer and extra chores work best. He's still my hardest child though.
want10more
by Member on Aug. 6, 2014 at 4:09 AM
1 mom liked this

stop hearing her. do NOT negotiate. do NOT try to talk to her. just quite hearing her. what she wants is your attn, and to make you do her will. just say, i just don't talk to people that yell. when you want to talk to me quietly, i'm here.

Lottie925
by Member on Aug. 6, 2014 at 7:11 AM
Her back talk is not extreme in nature, just consistent. I think just being consistent with lower level punishments should do the trick. Stripping her room and isolating her like that is kind of extreme, IMO.

Quoting Mrs.Urquhart: I neglect to see where backtalk wouldn't warrant this response, but good luck. :)

Quoting Lottie925: Wow! I appreciate what your saying, but I do think her offenses are much less severe than that punishment would imply. She IS great the second she leaves our home. She is overall a great kid. Just having trouble communicating I think. I think some structure and following through on punishments are probably the way to go.

I mean, she's not hateful. She's just always negotiating out of doing what she is supposed to do or to get what she wants.

Quoting Mrs.Urquhart: Mine backtalked constantly, until I stripped her room bare and made her sit in there except for meals, until bedtime.... doing sentences. The length her punishment lasted depended on how long she took to write them. A 50 sentence punishment of "I will backtalk my mother," could take 30 minutes or 3 days...

She shaped up when I refused to back down.
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