I get along with my parents and my sister really well. My little brother is very selfish. I know he has struggles because he is adopted and is gay and says he is having trouble dealing with those (even though we don't care and love him the same). But he is still such an asshole sometimes! He lives in Houston and I live in Austin 3 hours away. The following example is one of this type of incident that occurs towards me from my brother on average every few months several times a year for about 4 years now: He and my dad travel and work together for the family business and were in town last week so they stopped by for a little bit before having to drive back. When they arrived in my driveway, He took the work van and told my dad he was "going to grab something to eat real quick" and my dad said ok and came in the house. I had not seen my brother as of yet as he did this right as they pulled in the driveway. I am on bed rest and must stay in bed right now so when only my dad walked in, I asked where my brother was. Right then, my dads phone rang and it was my brother saying he was just going to keep on driving and not come back to my house and go to Houston bc "he had plans" for the night. This was leaving my dad stranded mid-week in Austin, my son and daughter anticipating seeing their uncle (my brother) who just bailed on them, and who did not even bother to come into my house and say hi to me or my kids. I only get to see him about 5-6 times a year either on holidays or when they happen to be travelling through town. My husband was also pulling in the driveway only seconds behind them pulling in the driveway bc he left his work early for the day so he could come see my dad and my brother before they headed back to Houston. My husband waved at my brother and was being cheerful and mouthed "hi" through the van window as my dad was getting out of the van and my brother just looked at him blankly and backed out to "go get something to eat" as he told my dad. My dad ended up having to stay the night, cancel his job for the next day that was scheduled bc my brother just left him here and took the van all the way back to Houston, my 5 year old son was crying bc his feelings were hurt that his uncle would be here, in another city, sitting in our driveway and not even come in the house to play with him or see him, my daughter was too young to realize, but I was extremely hurt that he would act this way towards them, my dad, and my husband and I. I am over it! Crap like this happens every few months, and then he acts like nothing happened. He has never done this to my sister, only me. I don't know if its bc she is much older than us? One time he randomly deleted me from his Facebook, and I mean very randomly, as the week before it was Christmas and we were together and everything was great. Then he decided he suddenly didn't want to talk to me for like 2 months and he missed my birthday during that time period. no call, no nothing. Should I just cut my ties? This type of stuff has been going on way to long. My parents even had to lecture him on how to behave at my wedding as a "preventative" "just in case". I am 32 and he is 29, so he is definitely an adult and old enough to not act like this. And my second question is, if I do cut ties, how do I behave or what do i say/do around him when I will see him at family holidays and celebrations? Thanks in advance! I could handle his crap when it was just me, but now that my kids are getting old enough to be the brunt of this, I feel I need to protect them from his crap as they don't need to be subjected to unwanted hurt from an adult who knows better.
Sorry this was so long!!
on Aug. 5, 2014 at 10:16 PM