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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Single Mom feeling overwhelmed and incredibly lonely - any others out there?

Posted by on Aug. 6, 2014 at 1:51 PM
  • 10 Replies
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Hey everyone, I just cant seem to get out of this rut of feeling so alone. Parenting is tough and I had never planned on doing it alone but here I am with an 18 month old and an almost 4 year old and I'm just completely bummed out. I had to move across country when I left their father and I currently live with my parents and that adds insult to injury. Plus all the friends I do have are all happily married with support from family. 

I know there is someone else out there who is in a similar situation and I'd just like to be able to chat with someone who can relate.

KW

by on Aug. 6, 2014 at 1:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
hismommy2010
by on Aug. 6, 2014 at 2:04 PM
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Im not in ur shoes. But my sister was at one point. Just do what needs to be done. Love ur babies and stay focused & motivated to do what u need to do to get all of u back on ur feet
Mama-of-three
by Member on Aug. 6, 2014 at 5:14 PM

I can relate exactly. My husband and I are currently going through a divorce but he is not living with me and our one year old son right now. I'm pregnant with his twins and am now living with my parents and our son while he is in another state "free from responsibilities and expectations of a father and husband" none of my friends can relate because they are all either happily married with kids or too drunk to find their phone. 

LauraBee46
by Member on Aug. 6, 2014 at 5:35 PM
1 mom liked this

I have no advice for you, but, here's a hug:  (((hug))).  Even though it can be embarrassing or feel claustrophobic, it is definitely a good thing that you can stay with your parents in a relatively safe environment while you heal from your split.  Things will get easier as you regain your strength and equilibrium.  Meanwhile, make sure you take time to care for yourself. 

stargazerwolf
by Bronze Member on Aug. 6, 2014 at 5:43 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm a single mom of a 6 year old and a 2 year old. I live a ways from my family so haven't had a lot of help or anything. My 6 year olds father is pretty much out of her life (my ex husband) and my 2 year olds dad does actually help with both, his family can be helpful too and they are all in their life. I still feel alone sometimes because I only have a few close friends and no family here. The way I have kept strong is because I'm working 6 days a week running my business, so I am busy, I also keep hobbies like my drawing and taking care of my pets.

Before when I left my ex husband, I lived with my mom for awhile, it sucked, I struggled for a long time, had to use a lot of state aid, then moved 2 1/2 hours away to pursue my career, that was soooo hard. My 6 year old was only about 2 then and I had moved to a huge city (in comparison to where I was used to). I was sad a lot, I was exhausted, I hated relying on state aid, I even hated driving anywhere because of it being a big city so I just went to work, daughters daycare and home, no where else for awhile. I wanted to give up many times.

After awhile I ended up making friends at work, I did end up having a friend up here too that I had met before, and when things seemed to get better, suddenly they got worse, my car broke down, eventually I got fired for too many late days or missed days (some because of daycare issues, some due to my care, etc nothing I had any control over) I really almost gave up then...but in the time I was unemployed I got my daughter potty trained (she wasn't yet 3) Then I got another job doing the same thing (bather at a grooming salon, another one of the big box stores).

This job led to me getting groomer training, after that I ended up pregnant with my second and was for  a year and a half with her father, I got more grooming experience over time, then got to stay home with kids some, but in the end after that relationship ended I actually got my own pet grooming salon, I now run that, make an awesome living, am happy just how I am, with me and my kids and my pets! This was my whole plan in moving up here and I actually made this dream come true.

Sorry that was long, but I just want you to see that even when you get to your lowest and things seem miserable, evnetually you will get where you are headed. I'm proud of myself, and I'm very happy with life right now :) It will get better! Keep chugging along, try to find your passion and go for it, it makes it so much  better to be doing something you love when you are also dealing with being alone. For now I'd just work a job and save what you can, hopefully you can find your passion and put your all into that and your kids and things will seem good. Also make yourself make friends. It helps so much to have someone to vent to!

Also if you do want to vent or chat I'll be here! :) I check the forum almost every day.

ceciliam
by Cecilia on Aug. 6, 2014 at 7:25 PM

I'm sorry. I have never been in that position but my brother is going through a divorce and he will have primary custody of his girls who are 2 and 4 years old. I hope things get better for you, soon.

kdub79
by on Aug. 6, 2014 at 10:06 PM

thanks everyone for the support. thats more encouragement than i've gotten in the last 18 months from my parents. it was much needed and greatly appreciated! 

i work from home, so since moving in with my folks i dont get much other adult interaction since i spend my days working from their home...ive been slowly trying to make friends with one of the mothers i've interacted with at the kids daycare. yes, i have to have them in daycare so i can work because my parents find it too difficult to spend the days with their grandkids. "its just too overwhelming" my mom says....

i get it, kids are work, but they just aren't like any other grandparents i've ever met...

a_and_j_momma
by Gold Member on Aug. 7, 2014 at 2:36 AM
I've been a single mom for 6 years. It gets easier with time. You get your ground and build yourself up, develop your own patterns, etc
WifeyandMom71
by New Member on Aug. 7, 2014 at 12:21 PM

There are many Groups here that maybe you can find a friend in real life, that lives near you, and that your kids and her kids can play together.  Do a search for a Group in your area.  I know many many moms here have met in real life and their kids have become playmates.  I think that would be nice for you and your children.

kdub79
by on Aug. 7, 2014 at 1:01 PM

im new to this site, how do i go about doing that? searching for moms in my area?

thx

quoting WifeyandMom71:

There are many Groups here that maybe you can find a friend in real life, that lives near you, and that your kids and her kids can play together.  Do a search for a Group in your area.  I know many many moms here have met in real life and their kids have become playmates.  I think that would be nice for you and your children.


WifeyandMom71
by New Member on Aug. 7, 2014 at 1:28 PM

 Here you go:

http://www.cafemom.com/groups/find.php

 

 

Quoting kdub79:

im new to this site, how do i go about doing that? searching for moms in my area?

thx

quoting WifeyandMom71:

There are many Groups here that maybe you can find a friend in real life, that lives near you, and that your kids and her kids can play together.  Do a search for a Group in your area.  I know many many moms here have met in real life and their kids have become playmates.  I think that would be nice for you and your children.

 

 

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