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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

My 10 year old chatting on online dating site

Posted by on Aug. 8, 2014 at 1:52 AM
  • 8 Replies
So my husband and I got my then 8-year-old daughter a Kindle fire HD for Christmas and she is now 10. We told her when we got it that we would check it periodically to make sure that she was going by our rules. We also have parental controls on it. So from time to time we will take it from her and check and see what is going on. We did so recently and when I was going through it she has an app pulled up with a very cheesy and kid like dating site, sad but true. Where people would usually post their profile it's done with the cartoon characters. My daughter has chatted with several boys and her opening line is do you want to date? And her profile she said she wants a boy that is sporty, cute, rich and nice. She has even talked with several girls on there. The conversations don't go too far. But I am really worried. Her attitude the last couple of months has changed as well. Not that her friends are bad influences, they are very respectful when they are over at the house and I absolutely adore them all. She did have a friend she used to hang out with that my husband and I did not care for what so ever but that friend moved months ago although she still Skype's with her. I know that kids are going to go through there if phases but my daughter is extremely intelligence, pretty and popular at school for a fifth grader. I am just wanting her to go down the right road and follow the dreams that she has but she is sort of a follower and I am scared that she is going to do whatever her friends are doing. Because she did mention that her friends were on that same site. Needless to say we took her Kindle away for a very long time and took her phone away. And I know that I need to sit down and have a conversation with her. A calm one because I
always want her to come to me if she is having any sort of problem. She's not really the type of person to really open up and talk about feelings and thoughts unless she is in the mood which is very rare. How can I get her to open up and let me know what she's really thinking?
Thank you all for reading this and if you have any suggestions I would be more than happy to hear them out. Thank you moms!!!
by on Aug. 8, 2014 at 1:52 AM
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Replies (1-8):
Newtosprings
by New Member on Aug. 8, 2014 at 1:54 AM
Sorry about some typos, I wrote that on my phone which was extremely hard! LOL
mamer12812
by Member on Aug. 8, 2014 at 5:15 AM
I wonder if coming off more as a friend more then a mother vibe to her for the time being while your talkibg to her about this kind of subject would work for her to open up about it.
reesesami
by Member on Aug. 8, 2014 at 5:24 AM
1 mom liked this

I have a 10 year old DD as well and this terrifies me.  My husband and I want her to remain a child as long as possible, so she does not have a phone or ipad, kindle, etc.  No social media whatsoever.  These things are for much older kids in my opinion because of the situation you are finding yourself in right now. 

My niece got her first cell phone in fifth grade and immediately started texting boys and even sent them pictures (nothing obscene, just pics of her making silly faces or of whatever, but I can only imagine how that will progress...ugh!)  She is now a boy obsessed 7th grader.  Her mom does not seem to have a problem with it and my DD gets jealous that her friends and cousins get to have phones and she does not, but she understand why we put these restrictions on her.  She knows she is a child and she has child toys. 

Long ago my husband and I decided against video games, ipads, kindles, etc. because want to spend quality time together as a family.  We don't even have cable.  Some people think we're old fashioned but I was basically raised by a TV and my brothers were all obsessed with video games growing up (they still are) and I wanted something different for my family.  Obviously you can choose what is best for your family but if your DD was my DD, she would have those items taken away until she is at least a teenager.

ceciliam
by Cecilia on Aug. 8, 2014 at 5:25 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm honestly not sure how I would approach it. Good luck.

-PB
by Gold Member on Aug. 8, 2014 at 8:34 PM
1 mom liked this

Wow.  My dd is only 4 so I'm not sure how I would react to that.  I would for sure password protect the internet and not allow usage for a very long time.  Good luck!

NeonGirl9583
by Bronze Member on Aug. 8, 2014 at 8:38 PM
My kids aren't allowed to have anything like that until they know better. Kids shouldn't have kindles and phones. Smh
Newtosprings
by New Member on Aug. 8, 2014 at 10:04 PM
2 moms liked this
Let me clarify really quick to the moms who are judging me and "SMH" at me. When I said I took her phone I meant the telephone we just allowed her to have in her room, not a cell phone. And she will not be getting her Kindle back for an extremely long time. I sat down and we had a pretty good talk this afternoon. We talked about peer pressure, why she feels like she needs attention and body image. Since then she has been a different person, almost like she had the weight of the world off her shoulders. Thank you girls who helped and didn't judge, I heeded your advice and it helped-much appreciated. Unfortunately now I remember why I hardly post, I don't judge and it stinks to be judged..........., If you only knew the person you were judging. 😁😒
a_and_j_momma
by Gold Member on Aug. 8, 2014 at 10:17 PM
1 mom liked this
Good! I would monitor very closely when she does get it back. keep working on her self-esteem!

Quoting Newtosprings: Let me clarify really quick to the moms who are judging me and "SMH" at me. When I said I took her phone I meant the telephone we just allowed her to have in her room, not a cell phone. And she will not be getting her Kindle back for an extremely long time. I sat down and we had a pretty good talk this afternoon. We talked about peer pressure, why she feels like she needs attention and body image. Since then she has been a different person, almost like she had the weight of the world off her shoulders. Thank you girls who helped and didn't judge, I heeded your advice and it helped-much appreciated. Unfortunately now I remember why I hardly post, I don't judge and it stinks to be judged..........., If you only knew the person you were judging. 😁😒
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