Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

On my one day....

Posted by on Aug. 13, 2014 at 12:59 PM
  • 9 Replies

My twin just recently moved in with us, she is going though a rather nasty divorce, and needs to save money.  She pays for her stuff, and helps watch my son one day a week so I can have a me day.

I came home the other day from my 'me day' and my son was crying very hard.  I asked her what the issue was, she told me that she had smacked my nine month olds hand a few times for playing with the phone charger that she had in his play area.

Upon looking at his hand, it was red and irritated.  I asked her how long ago this took place she told me about fifteen minutes.  Um are you serious?

When she had agreed to this, we had discussed a few things like nap time, feeding, and playtime, I never thought I would have to explain to her that you do not smack a nine month old.

When his father came home, we all sat down and discussed what happened.  She now has to pay rent, and I lost my one day to myself.  She still stands by her decision, which is why we made the decision to ask her to pay rent instead.

by on Aug. 13, 2014 at 12:59 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-9):
Serabeth06
by on Aug. 13, 2014 at 1:03 PM

Wow. :/ You're nicer than me, I would likely have asked her to move out. I generally don't like having houseguests or people live with me, though, so I'm biased.

Mums.the.word
by on Aug. 13, 2014 at 1:07 PM
She is my only scribbling, and at that we are twins, we share a special bond. She will not be watching my child though. She was hurt by that.

Quoting Serabeth06:

Wow. :/ You're nicer than me, I would likely have asked her to move out. I generally don't like having houseguests or people live with me, though, so I'm biased.

Serabeth06
by on Aug. 13, 2014 at 1:17 PM

 I can understand that, definitely. I have 6 brothers, but I'm not remotely close to any of them, to the point of not talking to each other in years. While I know that one day they will likely ask me for help with something, (such as my brother who is 30, who has never had a job or paid rent in his life, and still lives with my dad, who has terminal emphysema) I'm not really sure what I'd be prepared to do for them to help them out. My DH and I agreed to no houseguests, which was put to the test when his SIL wanted to come live with us a few months ago. In your situation, I would definitely agree, no more babysitting if she can't agree to not smack your baby's hand to the point of redness and irritation. Hopefully she doesn't get too upset by the new arrangements.

Quoting Mums.the.word: She is my only scribbling, and at that we are twins, we share a special bond. She will not be watching my child though. She was hurt by that.
Quoting Serabeth06:

Wow. :/ You're nicer than me, I would likely have asked her to move out. I generally don't like having houseguests or people live with me, though, so I'm biased.

 

Mums.the.word
by on Aug. 13, 2014 at 1:23 PM
I feel like her being upset is ridiculous, he is our child therefore she does not get to dictate what his 'punishment' is. Currently we redirect him, and that works for him, out of sight out of mind. After she is stable, I believe we will have to discuss people staying in our home.

Quoting Serabeth06:

 I can understand that, definitely. I have 6 brothers, but I'm not remotely close to any of them, to the point of not talking to each other in years. While I know that one day they will likely ask me for help with something, (such as my brother who is 30, who has never had a job or paid rent in his life, and still lives with my dad, who has terminal emphysema) I'm not really sure what I'd be prepared to do for them to help them out. My DH and I agreed to no houseguests, which was put to the test when his SIL wanted to come live with us a few months ago. In your situation, I would definitely agree, no more babysitting if she can't agree to not smack your baby's hand to the point of redness and irritation. Hopefully she doesn't get too upset by the new arrangements.


Quoting Mums.the.word: She is my only scribbling, and at that we are twins, we share a special bond. She will not be watching my child though. She was hurt by that.
Quoting Serabeth06:

Wow. :/ You're nicer than me, I would likely have asked her to move out. I generally don't like having houseguests or people live with me, though, so I'm biased.


 

atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 1:29 PM

She needs to move out. 

Serabeth06
by on Aug. 13, 2014 at 1:33 PM
1 mom liked this

 I agree, definitely. It really doesn't make sense to get mad at a parent for saying that if you can't watch their child the way they ask, you can't watch their child at all. Especially when it comes to things like corporal punishment and hand smacking. It's confusing to a 9 month old to suddenly be getting hit by a caretaker as punishment. Our no-houseguest agreement was actually when we were dating and I moved in, because he had a friend who routinely asked to "crash" at our house for a night or two while he and his wife were fighting. For me, it's awkward and uncomfortable to have someone in my house like that, it disturbs our routine, and it's confusing to the kids to have some random person sleeping on our couch off and on. So, I told my DH that it bothered me, and he agreed with my reasons, so we made a no-uninvited-guest policy.

Quoting Mums.the.word: I feel like her being upset is ridiculous, he is our child therefore she does not get to dictate what his 'punishment' is. Currently we redirect him, and that works for him, out of sight out of mind. After she is stable, I believe we will have to discuss people staying in our home.
Quoting Serabeth06:

 I can understand that, definitely. I have 6 brothers, but I'm not remotely close to any of them, to the point of not talking to each other in years. While I know that one day they will likely ask me for help with something, (such as my brother who is 30, who has never had a job or paid rent in his life, and still lives with my dad, who has terminal emphysema) I'm not really sure what I'd be prepared to do for them to help them out. My DH and I agreed to no houseguests, which was put to the test when his SIL wanted to come live with us a few months ago. In your situation, I would definitely agree, no more babysitting if she can't agree to not smack your baby's hand to the point of redness and irritation. Hopefully she doesn't get too upset by the new arrangements.

Quoting Mums.the.word: She is my only scribbling, and at that we are twins, we share a special bond. She will not be watching my child though. She was hurt by that.
Quoting Serabeth06:

Wow. :/ You're nicer than me, I would likely have asked her to move out. I generally don't like having houseguests or people live with me, though, so I'm biased.

 

 

-PB
by Gold Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 1:37 PM

 Wow.  I would have told her to get out.  You are nicer than me. 

Mom2Just1
by Mom2boys on Aug. 13, 2014 at 1:43 PM

She would have been forced to move out. We don't spank or hit our children.  If you need a day to yourself then have your husband take care of his child.

Daisypath Anniversary tickersLilypie Second Birthday tickers

Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers

Lilypie Maternity tickers


Mums.the.word
by on Aug. 13, 2014 at 2:28 PM

I will not kick my sister out on the streets for something we did not discuss, she knows the rules now.  Even though I am no longer comfortable with her watching my son, she will pay rent and it is water under the bridge.

Quoting atlmom2:

She needs to move out. 


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)