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How to help a child with a temper.....

Posted by on Aug. 14, 2014 at 9:24 AM
  • 10 Replies

 

My 6 year old DS....

On a good morning, he hops right out of bed, he's cheerful, gets dressed and gets things done so we can get out the door on time.

On a bad morning, he wants to stay curled up in his blanket and once I do get him to the point of getting dressed nothing fits right (so he says)  and he flies off the handle with anger.  This is a trigger for me, I get upset too....if I yell at him it just escalates, makes him mad at me, and then it really goes nowhere.  I have been trying HARD not to yell, but I can only hold out for so long. :(

What can I do to get him to settle down, find acceptable clothes, and get on with our morning? 

 

by on Aug. 14, 2014 at 9:24 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Adnalor
by Member on Aug. 14, 2014 at 9:29 AM
Two things come to mind. One, a morning reward chart that allows you and him to check off the things he's done well. Maybe you could reward him a At the end of there week. At my daughters school, they used an anger management technique called tucker turtle takes a time out. It gives the child a set of steps to work through to control their anger and make better decisions. Google it for more info. Good luck!
JC2223
by Bronze Member on Aug. 14, 2014 at 9:31 AM

Have him pick out and set cloths out the night before. Get an alarm clock and set it 10 min earlier than you want him to get up, that way the alarm wakes him first and he's not being rushed out of the bed on the first call to wake up. Try speaking to him in a low tone whisper. Yelling raises the pitch of your voice and it's known that males can't really hear a higher pitch sound. They hear low tones best, so try lowering your voice. It will also help you to stay more in control of your own temper. Give a warning with a clear consequence if he doesn't get dressed by a certain amount of time. Set a timer for that time. Tell him when he hears the sound of the timer going off, he better get dressed or...(insert consequence).

Bleacheddecay
by on Aug. 14, 2014 at 9:33 AM

Getting dressed wise I had my difficult child dress the night before and sleep in her clothes for the next day because that fight in the morning was something we just didn't need. It may sound strange but nothing else worked and this did.

Anger wise, I sat down with both kids and had them help me come up with things that were okay to do when you were angry. Things like go hit the bop bag, scream into thier pillow, draw a picture, weed the garden and so on. Then we attached consequences good and bad to the choices made and followed through each time.

At around 6th grade my ADHD daughter decided she didn't want to physically fight anymore and learned to control herself in that area. Martial arts probably helped. When she was young I would wrap her up in my body so she couldn't hurt me or herself.

MusherMaggie
by Member on Aug. 14, 2014 at 10:40 AM
Set clothes out the night before. Make sure he's not staying up too late or getting overstimulated before bedtime. Practice self control. No yelling. Be very mattet-of-fact with him. Tell him you will dress him yourself if he doesn't do it by a certain time (a kitchen timer is useful for this). Have consequences for inappropriate behavior and enforce them consistently.
emarin77
by Bronze Member on Aug. 14, 2014 at 11:06 AM

I agree.

Quoting Adnalor: Two things come to mind. One, a morning reward chart that allows you and him to check off the things he's done well. Maybe you could reward him a At the end of there week. At my daughters school, they used an anger management technique called tucker turtle takes a time out. It gives the child a set of steps to work through to control their anger and make better decisions. Google it for more info. Good luck!


KimmyShaw
by Member on Aug. 14, 2014 at 11:09 AM
1 mom liked this

When my DD gets like this I quietly ask if she needs an extra hug...usually she pouts and shakes her head yes then clings to me for a few minutes, then she gets moving.

ceciliam
by Cecilia on Aug. 14, 2014 at 11:21 AM

I agree with all of this.

Quoting JC2223:

Have him pick out and set cloths out the night before. Get an alarm clock and set it 10 min earlier than you want him to get up, that way the alarm wakes him first and he's not being rushed out of the bed on the first call to wake up. Try speaking to him in a low tone whisper. Yelling raises the pitch of your voice and it's known that males can't really hear a higher pitch sound. They hear low tones best, so try lowering your voice. It will also help you to stay more in control of your own temper. Give a warning with a clear consequence if he doesn't get dressed by a certain amount of time. Set a timer for that time. Tell him when he hears the sound of the timer going off, he better get dressed or...(insert consequence).



want10more
by Member on Aug. 15, 2014 at 4:16 AM

the night before put a choice of clothes on his dresser. of HIS choice. i have 6 kids. luckily enuff i was able to find dressers w/ enuff drawers for 1 pjs, underwear. 2. school shirts. 3. school pants and matching outfits. 4. play shirts. 5. sweats and other play outfits. it helped me cuz the boy could pick out his own outfit from the right drawer......

want10more
by Member on Aug. 15, 2014 at 4:19 AM

 like, according to the age of the child, you gotta make your OWN breakfast. if it continues, (for mine anyway) no ps3.

Quoting ceciliam:

I agree with all of this.

Quoting JC2223:

Have him pick out and set cloths out the night before. Get an alarm clock and set it 10 min earlier than you want him to get up, that way the alarm wakes him first and he's not being rushed out of the bed on the first call to wake up. Try speaking to him in a low tone whisper. Yelling raises the pitch of your voice and it's known that males can't really hear a higher pitch sound. They hear low tones best, so try lowering your voice. It will also help you to stay more in control of your own temper. Give a warning with a clear consequence if he doesn't get dressed by a certain amount of time. Set a timer for that time. Tell him when he hears the sound of the timer going off, he better get dressed or...(insert consequence).

 

Luvmykidlets
by Member on Aug. 15, 2014 at 4:02 PM

Picking out clothes the night before does not work because it has nothing to do with the clothes and everything to do with the bad mood.

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