Gosh! I hope I don't get Judgement for this....I am honestly just looking for some good advice. I have 3 children. My oldest dd is 10. She loves everyone! If you want to be her friend she will be your bff! She shows empathy when others are treated wrong. My son is 8. He is shy but is kind to other people and shows empathy also. Then there is my youngest dd who is 6 1/2. For about 2 years She has been developing this mean girl attitude. It is like she has this idea image in mind of how someone is suppose to look or act and if they don't fit that mold she is not thier friend. Fortunelty she doesn't say things directly to most of the kids only to herself, me, or other friends. I in no way encourage what she says and I correct her everytime. There was one little girl, I am very good friends with her mom but I cannot bring my dd around hers because my dd is just mean. Calls her name and laughs at her. I will discipline with scolding, time outs, taking things away, making her miss out on things, and even popping her mouth for saying certain things. My older dd went through this for a short amount of time around the same age. It didn't last long because when I turned the table and said "how would you feel if this was happening to you" she would think about it and say it would make her feel bad or sad etc... but This dd will respond with "I don't care, I don't even like her!" I think it may stem from her being defensive. She is also very competitive. It is almost like she has that bully mentality of "If I hurt them they Can't hurt me" She is very shy which attributes with maybe a self esteem issue, worried someone isn't going to like her (probably because she has so many reasons she doesn't like people). I think she copes with the feeling by getting defensive and deciding not to like them so that they can't like her, if that makes sense...I hope it does. I Don't know how to fix it. I try to talk to her about other peoples feelings. I try to encourage her to make friends, the right way. She doesn't seem to have this problem at school, at least her teachers have never said anything. She has alot of friends there. I think she also deals with jealousy and control. If she can be in control of whatever they are playing she is happy as can be. but if someone doesn't want to do what she wants them to do sometimes she won't play at all. I know there is a truly sweet girl under all this controlling, jealous, shy, mean girl she tries to act like. I see the sweet side all the time but I don't know how to help her get past this bad social behavior. Anyone else deal with this?? HELP!