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someone help. .. someone explain. ..

Posted by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 6:35 PM
  • 27 Replies
Im gonna try to explain this as best I can. My 13 month old son has recently started taking shorter naps, is waking from some of his naps in a very cranky/whiny fashion, cries continuously and throws a fit if he doesn't get his way (if we don't pick him up, don't hold him 'long enough', basically if we don't do what he wants when he wants it). He also LOVES food, so he gets upset/whiny/throws a fit when he doesn't get what he wants to eat when he wants it. Should I give into him whenever he wants to eat? And f.y.i, I do not not feed him or anything like that, its just that he would eat aaaaaaall day long and i would like to keep his food intake to 3 meals a day and a couple light snacks. I feel bad nor giving him what he wants when he wants it though. ... am I just overthinking things? Should I give him what he wants to keep him happy and avoid unnecessary scenes in public or fits at home?

I do not get angry with him when he throws his tantrums/cries/whstever, nor do I yell. I may be stern with him, but for the most part he either thinks im playing or thinks its funny or continues to cry/fuss. I explain things to him. .. like what he did that was wrong or why we don't do that or something similar and I speak to him in more adult fashion rather than baby-ish talk. Is that wrong?

I am also thinking about implementing timeouts for when he does not listen (I.e. when he screams like a maniac when he doesn't get his way). Id like to first give him a warning and then if he does it again I would do the timeout and quickly explain that he is going into timeout instead of picking him up angrily and just putting him in his crib without giving a reason. Are timeouts aappropriate at this age? Where would I put him? His crib? And I would do it for a minute. If after the timeout he continues the behavior, do I continue the timeouts???

How much does/did your child eat at this age?

Anything else I should know about this age?? Any advice is really appreciated! I never wanted to have one of those naughty kids who didn't listen, but now I feel like I do. :(
by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 6:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
BalderdashMom
by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 8:13 PM
He's too young for punishment. He's letting you know what his needs are and he's making demands in his own way. Attempting to coach his behavior probably won't work. If you think he's hungry and he's had an ample amount to eat you could redirect his attention onto something else by playing with him. I babysit my friends kids and her boy is 13 months old. He exhibits all of these behaviors.
Mom2Just1
by Mom2boys on Nov. 4, 2014 at 9:04 PM

Keep in mind he is only 13 months.  He is trying to express himself and at this age it is very difficult for him still. He won't understand punishment.  My kids have always had free access to healthy foods. I have no problem if they want to eat all day long as they eat healthy items.

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MusherMaggie
by Silver Member on Nov. 4, 2014 at 9:53 PM
He's only 13 months old and probably in a growth spurt. It's still a little early to be so regimented with his meals. He doesn't have lots of language skills yet, so he gets frustrated. Have something ready for him to eat when he wakes up.

He also doesn't understand yet the explanation you give him if it's more than three or four words. After you've given him something to eat abd a tantrum ensues, place him in a safe boring place and walk away for a couple of minutes.
Imperfect_Faith
by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:53 PM
He's only 13 months, he's still a baby, and no, time outs would NOT be appropriate. He doesn't understand that he's doing something wrong. All he'll know is mom is leaving him when he's scared/tired/confused, etc. He is crying because something is wrong, even if he's only tired or scared.
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amybrg86
by Bronze Member on Nov. 5, 2014 at 3:41 PM
I mean, I'm kind talking more like when I tell him 'no' or 'we dont touch that'... he will sometimes throw a fit/scream. I know when he's hungry, tired, needs a diaper change and will deal accordingly, but when I continuously have to repeat myself when he does something he shouldn't, what do I do in that situation?? Is there something else I should be saying instead of 'no', 'please don't touch that', etc...? How do you stop or limit those kinds of behaviors? What is the best thing to do when he won't listen or throws a fit?

Quoting BalderdashMom: He's too young for punishment. He's letting you know what his needs are and he's making demands in his own way. Attempting to coach his behavior probably won't work. If you think he's hungry and he's had an ample amount to eat you could redirect his attention onto something else by playing with him. I babysit my friends kids and her boy is 13 months old. He exhibits all of these behaviors.
amybrg86
by Bronze Member on Nov. 5, 2014 at 3:47 PM
I know he is, but I don't want to let him continue behaviors that might only get worse as he gets older (I.e. not listening, not learning that there are consequences for bad behaviors...). And as far as the food, once I give him, say, a snack, her wants a ton of it and gets upset when he doesn't get more (he gets upset when he can't have more banana--he usually eats a whole one at a time). So what would you do in that situation when he starts throwing a fit because I won't give him more banana?

Quoting Mom2Just1:

Keep in mind he is only 13 months.  He is trying to express himself and at this age it is very difficult for him still. He won't understand punishment.  My kids have always had free access to healthy foods. I have no problem if they want to eat all day long as they eat healthy items.

BalderdashMom
by on Nov. 5, 2014 at 3:47 PM
You constantly redirect him. That's what this kind of behavior at this age requires. Instead of saying no you might say,"let's play with this" or "this is mommy's but you cave this" and give him something he can play with.

Quoting amybrg86: I mean, I'm kind talking more like when I tell him 'no' or 'we dont touch that'... he will sometimes throw a fit/scream. I know when he's hungry, tired, needs a diaper change and will deal accordingly, but when I continuously have to repeat myself when he does something he shouldn't, what do I do in that situation?? Is there something else I should be saying instead of 'no', 'please don't touch that', etc...? How do you stop or limit those kinds of behaviors? What is the best thing to do when he won't listen or throws a fit?

Quoting BalderdashMom: He's too young for punishment. He's letting you know what his needs are and he's making demands in his own way. Attempting to coach his behavior probably won't work. If you think he's hungry and he's had an ample amount to eat you could redirect his attention onto something else by playing with him. I babysit my friends kids and her boy is 13 months old. He exhibits all of these behaviors.
Mom2Just1
by Mom2boys on Nov. 5, 2014 at 3:49 PM
He is 13 months. Relax.

Quoting amybrg86: I know he is, but I don't want to let him continue behaviors that might only get worse as he gets older (I.e. not listening, not learning that there are consequences for bad behaviors...). And as far as the food, once I give him, say, a snack, her wants a ton of it and gets upset when he doesn't get more (he gets upset when he can't have more banana--he usually eats a whole one at a time). So what would you do in that situation when he starts throwing a fit because I won't give him more banana?

Quoting Mom2Just1:

Keep in mind he is only 13 months.  He is trying to express himself and at this age it is very difficult for him still. He won't understand punishment.  My kids have always had free access to healthy foods. I have no problem if they want to eat all day long as they eat healthy items.

amybrg86
by Bronze Member on Nov. 5, 2014 at 3:54 PM
Well I just feel like it would be easier if we eat as a family at the same time when possible. Say he eats lunch (and I don't because I'm not hungry yet)... then in an hour I'm hungry and make myself lunch. He is aaaaallll over me and my plate of food wanting to eat MORE! Do I just feed him more? Is he really still hungry?? Mind you, he eats large portions at meals.... But maybe it's really not that much for a 13 month old? For example, he might eat a piece of whole wheat toast , slice of fresh cheese, turkey, and a few strawberries with milk for lunch..

There isn't really anywhere I can put him that's safe AND boring in our apt.

Quoting MusherMaggie: He's only 13 months old and probably in a growth spurt. It's still a little early to be so regimented with his meals. He doesn't have lots of language skills yet, so he gets frustrated. Have something ready for him to eat when he wakes up.

He also doesn't understand yet the explanation you give him if it's more than three or four words. After you've given him something to eat abd a tantrum ensues, place him in a safe boring place and walk away for a couple of minutes.
amybrg86
by Bronze Member on Nov. 5, 2014 at 3:57 PM
Can you tell me why timeouts are not appropriate? I mostly ask because he has his 15 month checkup in 2 months and at our last checkup his pediatrician said we'll discuss punishments/timeouts... So, 13 months... 15 months.... What's the difference? Sooner the better to learn right from wrong, right?? When do you think is an appropriate age for timeouts?

Quoting Imperfect_Faith: He's only 13 months, he's still a baby, and no, time outs would NOT be appropriate. He doesn't understand that he's doing something wrong. All he'll know is mom is leaving him when he's scared/tired/confused, etc. He is crying because something is wrong, even if he's only tired or scared.
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